Kelsea Ballerini: Divorced at 29 (FBF)
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What is your daddy game? IT is your founding father, alex Cooper, with call her. Cosey balloony, welcome to call her daddy. Hello.

Alexander. Thank you.

Congratulations on your new E. P.

Thank you.

Rolling up the welcome math. I was listening to IT in the car this morning, and I listen to every single song, and it's great. Thinks also obvious what it's about divorce. Yeah, so let's get into IT.

Let's get into IT.

You met your x husband, Morgan Evans when you were twenty two years old and he's also a country singer. Yeah, how did the two of you meet?

I was hosting in a word show, and he was my cohoes, and I was, like, newly out of a relationship. And I was in this phase where I was on my third single. But like, I just thought, like, the world was like opening up for the first time for me. And like things were, things were working and I was like, I just like, I believed in everything yeah you know I mean, like everything good was happening at once and I think I was just like, so starrie in my life and then I met this person who like is like so charming and sweet and um and just IT like aligned with this this goodness that was happening in my world. And I just all kind of clicked and like this kind of theory tale moment.

I also feel like that age, even if, like we all have our up and downs at twenty one, twenty two, but this is a pretty ideal age where you like feel like you're an adult yeah you're kind of know but like you feel like I feel like IT. I thought that .

I had my entire life figured out like I thought that I knew exactly what love was and what I contributed to a relationship and what I needed out of a 这 ship。 yeah. And I didn't.

What was your first impression of him? Like, what were you attracted to about him?

And he just comes from, like, such A A loving family that believes so much in like unity and family and I come from a really, really broken family um and I was really attracted to that like I was really attracted to the security that that idea had and that he anime had in him. We definitely came in with different ideas of a relationship, you know.

What were those first few weeks and months of dating?

Like I was just a whole end I like I am such a jump brighten person um which I part of me was like, I don't want to do that again and part of me is like here I am um but I I I don't know how to shield that because I I like that about myself. I like I would rather feel things without a filter and then follow my eyes later and feel the opposite of that feeling fully then not let myself feel a feeling like that's the point of life you know um and so I I think that like my my life was changing so much and I was like all the sun busy other time in travelling the world for the first time like i'm from nox fill and then I was like going to australia you know I was like, this is amazing like look at the world and and he felt steady, really, really steady through all the chaos of my life changing.

When you look back now at those beginning first few even like weeks, month or two of dating, is there anything now you can be like, oh, I think that's a red flag. But you were too Young at the time to recognize.

I, at twenty two, was much quieter. I didn't have an opinion on much. I am, am a people pleaser to my core.

And I think that that was the thing that was in the driver seat. I was a mirror back to or whoever was in front of me. And I was really good at being whoever people need to meet to be.

And then I grew up. You got engaged after nine months of knowing each other. Yeah, nine months of knowing each other. Were you surprised when he proposed?

No, no. I mean, IT was like, IT was boss of the wall. IT was all in.

How do you guys talked about getting engaged?

yeah. And it's so funny because I saw I would never get married. I was just not my thing.

I think it's because I wash. My parents really have a time with IT. They had a nasty divorce. You can really be in the same room. And and so I think being an only child watching that, walking through that at twelve thirteen, like those impressionable ages, I was just like.

i'm not doing IT when you guys got engaged, what was your friends and family reaction? They were happy.

I mean, I think I think there was definitely a like, this is this is pretty vast undertoned everything but like, you know, he's a good person and he was really good to me, especially then yeah so I think they wanted to see me happy. I also think that they were watching my life start to change, and they wanted someone with me that was more steady. So I didn't have a go off the yeah that makes sense.

I was wondering there were any of those like friends that sometimes IT creates a rift in the friendship, but they're like cosey. Like are you sure? Like this is really soon? Like did you not have anyone your life that was questioning you?

People question him more than I question me. Like my friend Megan, i'll never forget this. The first time SHE met him, SHE pulled him aside and he said, you have a lot more game from this.

And SHE does why did you think that is?

I think we were just in different places. You know, he's nine years older than me and he was kind of restarting his career in the states. And I was like digging my hills in. And I was just we were in different places with our, with our jobs and with where we were out with them.

Did you feel that way that he had more again?

I never felt like that until afterwards.

Yeah, did you live together before you got engaged with how soon? And did you move together? Eight .

month?

Wow.

you eight sounds insane for me to say that a lot.

Now sometimes you can be so in and clouded in your judgment because like the immediate in front of you feel so good and make so much sense in your head, not just is a full bad decision, is just like you don't have the way with all to be like let me think about this not from a place of being Young and and love and infatuated like it's really fucked in hard but eight months to move. And did you move in with him or did he move in with you? Did you guys get a commuter place?

He moved with me.

Of that. interesting. So he's nine years older. You have a place and he moves in with you. How did that conversation ago?

IT was just kind of the undertone of the whole relationship.

you know. Now do you see that as a red flag? Do you think if in that specific instance, say like moving in, like if you had pushed back, do you think the relationship would have progress in the way that I did?

Maybe not as swiftly. I think that definitely accelerated IT. But like I said, like I was just I was like, how can I be a server? Some of people, please, are what what do we need to do to make this happen?

You know, did anyone ever ask you guys? Like, what's the rush? Like why do you to .

get married so a day? I know that i'm sure people did. Yeah, i'm sure people did. And I just simply did not care to listen.

Okay, take me to your wedding day. What do you remember about that day?

Oh, my god. I thought about that minute. I just wanted everyone to have a nice time.

I didn't want out waiting. why? Because I didn't think of the other that I really want to get married.

I did in that moment. But fundamentally, I think from the trauma that I had as a kid, I didn't. And then I think I I told myself that I did. And I I take the full responsibility of .

that narrative. Did you ever share with him that you didn't think fundamentally, you believed in marriage for yourself?

I think these bigger thoughts. Started really showing up as I grew up and that was in the marriage ah you know because I was like, of course, as the I love you, of course I want to marry you, of course I want have kids with you and then we were married and then I was like, time for kids. And then I was like, no, no, how you into into a relationship and how you show up to IT and that's going to be the through line. And so I started overcompensation really, really early on and that happened till the very end.

Can you explain what you mean by that? overcompensating?

Like, I was the one who was like, when am I get to see you? How is that? gonna? En, here's the flight.

Let me buy that flight for you. Here's the hotel. sure.

I leave my mom for Christmas and buy our fights to go see your family in australia OK. Um we have an anniversary coming up. Should we book a trip? Okay, i'll do that too.

Um we're home for a week. I all both the cleaners, I got that too. Um like I just did IT all and it's because I I started at that way.

I didn't I didn't ask him to meet me anywhere. I just did IT. When you're .

saying you're basically financially funding the relationship, when did you start to get like present for?

When I just simply didn't see him, I got to a place where I was like, if I wasn't, if I wasn't killing myself to figure out how this over lapse and how this works as I might not busy just what we wouldn't exist.

We and why are you seeing him?

Whether he, I mean, he was touring, he was got to doing, doing IT all him. I just, I think if you want to, you will. yeah.

So how was your first year of marriage? Because we were married for five, almost five, almost five. okay.

So how was the first year of marriage? He was great. Okay, he was great. We like, we were still so Young and our relationship, like our relationship was still so Young, right? Let alone the marriage, you know? So like we were still kind of in like the rainbows and butterflies and IT was fun in sweet and romantic again, there was effort. And I know.

I always say to myself into my girlfriends of, like, you have to get to the earmark and then you kind of start to recognize if you'd want to be with that person. Yeah, you got married in the honeymoon stay for sure. When did you realize the two of you were not on the same page about what marriage looks like longer than .

I get myself credit for? Um a long time a long time and there were there were separations. There was years of couples therapy. There was like million nights of sleeping on the couch. Like this was just a relationship that took work for a long time.

Do you remember, like the first night that you slept on the court?

I remember, I don't think he was the first night, but I remember I was a night where I was like, this is not what I want, but I sleep on the couch the night before the cm maze. And I remember I went to rehearsal at the arena in taxing him, in him being like, i'll to see what the carpet like.

okay. Can you give me a little bit more of an why did you sleep on the couch?

There was just such a sense of disconnection. We hadn't seen each other. There was a lack of effort to see each other. I was getting resenting because anytime we did see each other, I felt like I was Carrying that load and I was tired.

I was just tired of of showing up in that way all the time and not feeling like I was seen or matched. And then I was also tired from traveling all the time and like giving so much of myself, because that's what I want to do to hour my career too. And I think I just felt really depleted and not understood .

what did those nights look like? Like fights wise that like .

are you we don't yeah we can fight. No so what .

would be just silence? You're walking out. You're slept on the cow to wake up in the next morning and it's like, yeah, that goes yeah and when you walk out on to the like to go to sleep on the cow, he doesn't come to try to get you he says in the room is just .

silence yeah but how would .

you feel when you're on the coach like going to bed like what do you remember what you were mentally going through?

I definitely learn how to partment alias, which is some undoing that we're working on now. Yeah because I was like, i'd work tomorrow. I'd work tomorrow and I had to show up with him so people don't ask questions.

And then, you know, twenty twenty one, I host the same t awards. He just wasn't there. He didn't show up.

I, I was like, you cannot come. You cannot come. IT was so bad.

why did you not want him to go? Because.

because I had to work and I had to show up. And I knew that if he was there, we were like, a out of separation, just not good. And I was like, it's just like, I don't want to fake IT. I don't want to fake IT.

Did people in your life know that this was happening?

Yeah, everyone in my life and this was happening. Everyone in his life knew this was happening.

How soon into the marriage to you guys get into couples therapy? Ks, I know you said you've been doing for years.

years two.

and what was like the issue? You kept reaching a stance to long to make you be like we need to go to couple therapy.

just like feeling really that just feel feel like this relationship would not be alive if I, if I didn't do everything, and I just like you, getting on the plane that I found in books for you .

was not enough when you cause I appreciate how you said IT earlier, like everyone is going to have their own side. And I like really respect that everyone experiences is at their own way but from your recollection of how you felt in those moments, what would be his reasoning when you would come out him to be like i'm literally doing fucking everything like give me something like what would he say?

I mean, he was busy too, you know and I I think I was maybe a little too nice about IT but like he needed to do what he needed to do too and and also, by the way, like I don't pin the whole dowdall on him at all. I was not perfect. He was not perfect.

IT was not perfect. And so there were definitely moments that I look back on where, like, I shoot in that different, I could have showed up here. I could take in the fight this time, whatever is, and I in in the unravelling, that's definitely something that I ended up sharing with him. Just saying, like I need to own the last few years of, I think I checked out a long time ago and I need like, I need to let you know that.

Your pictures from your wedding or in people magazine? yeah. How did the pressure of having a public relationship also impact how long you stayed?

I I think i'd be lying to say, didn't I think there was a lot I think there were two levels of fear that I had to get past. One was that I was my parents like having that fear, like you're doing what they did. How how has this happened?

Anything that at how our parents fact this up? Like I do option, i'm not going to this happen to me. Can you talk about your feelings towards having that as like a big thing in your head of like I cannot fail because I don't want to be my parents like how did that mentally .

and emotionally affect you? I think I got married because of my parents. I think I got divorced because of me. And I I like, I think me choosing to get out of that marriage was me kind of rewriting what divorce looks like and what that means.

I was listening this morning and I remember hearing the line of, like, I maybe not getting the success what is like we would text and in place of basically like that, when did like you lose the Spark in your relationship?

Sex in in in my life and in my journey has been something that's taken a lot of um work. Um I think I grew up really, really, really, really religious and I went to like a church of Chris college and like, if you have sex for for marriage, you are going to help. That was like in my body, like not just my mind, but like my body.

And I had been with one other person before I got married, and IT was a really negative sexual experience, and I was in a relationship, but I just was not healthy at all. And so the way that I define sex was very one sided, very for the man, very not, not a sense of connection at all. And then IT was also littered with this, like you're going to hell.

And so then I got married and I had this shame around IT going into IT. Um that made IT really difficult us to connect in that way from the very beginning. And I don't even think I understood what a good sexual relationship was.

So I don't think I had anything to compare IT to IT just was when we saw each other, not very often. Yeah, that would be something that I knew that he wanted and needed. And I wanted to be a good wife.

yeah. Were you lonely? Yeah yeah sure. But I will say, like, I learned the value and fealy friendship. Like, oh my god, so much. Like, i'm an only child and I always wanted sisters so badly and I going to cry not this, but like that is such a gift that came out of IT was like, I I have like such a good group of girlfriends that would like they've just shown up when it's not can be me and I I have a story yeah because this to me is like this to me is.

Just in a nutshell, the reason I ended in, the reason that I where I am in, the reason i'm putting happy is there was a time that I was out here. I think I was twenty sixteen and I get really, really, I get sad in a way I don't know what that is. And I didn't have a group of friends out here yet.

I do know in therapy I was learning, like you can expect your partner to read your mind if you need something, ask for IT like that's gonna lead to a healthier communication. And so I remember I I called him and I was like, sober, and I was just like, i'm in a bad place. I need you like, can you please get on the flight? Sent him the flight and he didn't come hand.

I remember feeling really embarrass because I was vulnerable, and I asked, and I hate asking, and all these things. And I was just a moment that I shared with my friends and whatever. And then last year I was on tour, going through the divorce publicly, going on stage every night. And my best friend, Kelly, surprised me at my L A show. And I was, I was so special, like, that whole show was so special. And then the next day, at a day off, and we were driving in malibu, and he looked at mange with the kid, you know, i'm here like, cause you wanted to see the the greek show she's like, no, because in twenty nineteen you had to ask for someone to come out here that should known he shouldn't known and you asked and he didn't show up and i'm here to show you it's not that fucking and hard.

Who brought up the idea of divorce first. How did you begin that conversation? Take us to that moment.

The moment I think IT was over over was I was realizing that I wasn't ready for kids. And that's the fundamental difference. And I don't, and I still don't I don't know if I want kids at all or not um but that was something that we had talked about early on and that was something that I was changing on you know because he was ready.

He was like, I don't want to be in all that as what he kept saying and I was like, i'm not I just not there yet and I can't I can't do that to like save this and give you something that i'm not ready for like I just can't do that to myself um and I remember I went to get everything checked to see if I could freeze my eggs and I didn't tell him and I took him master dinner and I was like, for my third birthday, I want to freeze my eggs and IT was not a good day. Not a good day. And I think that was when I was like, there is a fundamental difference here that has happens and that has shifted.

And it's no longer like, I don't see this person. I miss this person. I'm alone and I A lonely. It's like he wants something out of life that I am not there are and whether i'll get there or not, I don't think it's with this person if IT is um and I think internally and insight that's where I went like I think maybe we need to rethink this kills.

First of all, I really respect you having that moment within yourself to be like because of now kind of getting to know you you're like I have people pleasing tendencies. I sometimes have a hard time with saying no and i'm just going to go with the flow and i'm going to go with that. There is a lot of people that have children to save a marriage ah, and that is, I mean, children are beautiful things, but like not to save a marriage ah.

And so the fact that you had the internal strength to be like, I know this is never gonna be something that I can do just to save this IT sounds like there is a very bad reaction. Yeah, yeah. Do you think had he ban like loving and sweet about IT, would you be in this situation?

I think at the end of the day, even the fact that I was having the conversation of freezing my eggs that was telling me that we were on different pages with IT yeah you know yeah was like ready, ready and I was wanting to freeze my ea.

you're in a half from them, right? So when did you have the like thee conversation that you wanted .

to divorce in August? But we had kind of been separated and I had asked for a separation. And so we were like switching off in the house. And I was like living with my mom if I wasn't on the road. And then I went on the girls trip to nap with, like, all my golf ds, and I just felt joy, like peer joy and and I and I why I wasn't sharing IT with them, like we weren't talking now. And I was just like, yeah this I like this version of myself so much more.

So did you end up having, like, a conversation with him or did you when did .

that happen a couple weeks later when I saw them in person? And I was like, a really beautiful conversation if i'm onest with, you know, I was just really honest. I just said, like I i've i've loved i've loved what this has brought in my life and I respect you and I respect me and because of that, I can no longer be in this marriage and um and I really want to do this together and I really want to like honor the good that we've experienced by doing this the right way and and like IT was IT was beautiful I we cried, we hugged IT was sweet and then something changed and I don't I haven't talked him since.

Oh wow, you never spoke through like the lawyers and everything that was that was last .

day you spoke wow yeah he'll like after that conversation, obviously you layer up and you tell you tell your team and you get your people and yeah and everything kind of just shifted.

How does that make you feel that you haven't spoken?

And i'm a piece with IT. Now at first I was just like I just felt like, you know, we had had a conversation of like, let's let's do this right? Like this doesn't have to be here. This doesn't have to be a nasty. This doesn't have to be what i've experienced divorced .

to look like you got nasty. yeah. IT did he released a song about your divorce? And this was before I was finalized.

This was weeks after we decided.

and you had no idea the song was coming out. No, some of the lyrics and these are like, not even some of the, i'm not going to the worst, but like I was, how long have you been waiting to take our pictures down?

Why am I just finding out I was reading the lyrics and I was like, oh like, from my interpretation I was like, he is like, blame you've like, you have like, known all long that you weren't in this and like, I am blinds I didn't like, why? Why are you just like randomly last minute telling me like this? This is pretty fucked up when you heard the song, and when you hear the lyrics, what does .

IT make you feel? Oh, so angry, so angry that like that, I felt pretty, I had a pretty good grasp on, like my grieving journey until that song came out. And I was livid.

I think that maybe there's a world where he was blindsided. I did not blind side him. I think two things can be true. And I I think like if he truly was blind insider than where was he and that's the point.

Yeah, because you write, were you blind sided or were you just blind? The truth is hard to hear, but IT wasn't hard to find. Can you explain you're like mentality when you are writing these lyrics? And like, where were you at trying to explain this?

I mean, I think I was just kind of like putting examples in there. Like we were in therapy for years, like remember that time that I left on the couch before the cma awards and then we like walked the carpet like with bags under our eyes because we have been fighting like, but not really fighting because, like, you know, I was just like, again, if that is you're narrow if if that's true to you, like where were you how does .

that feel though to like in that moment now be going like back and forth and songs with your ex husband.

I feel if for me honest like I felt like he was really opportunity for him to put that out when we did when we were still going through the legalities of direction. Um I felt really used in that moment um and again, his healing journey is his healing journey. I respect that. But publicly exploding IT feels a little nasty to me before its final.

Now we're like months passed IT you know yeah we're moving on and and i've taken the time to like actually sitting my feelings and like go through that gripping process and and take ownership of what I what I brought to the table too you know and um and that's why like this E P has been like i'm nervous to put IT out for sure. But I wish I would have had in August. I wish I wish in August, when I was like i'm blowing up my life from doing IT, that someone would have had those six songs that I could have listen to yeah till I go through the intractable of the emotions of everything that you think your life is onna look .

like it's not when you were saying I got nasty IT obviously feels like it's not just because he wrote a song no, no. Can you share?

Yeah I mean, I wanna like protect him weirdly in this look like. One thing that was he was so die hard about in the beginning was like, I don't ever want people to think that i'm like using you or riding any details or like trying to get opportunities through you or about I never felt he did. I never feel like he did like to my core.

Even now i'm like, I believe, I have to believe that this man like was purely just in love with me, not artist me like me, me, you know, and. And then we ve got divorced and who you marry is not who you divorce. And like you know, as he's putting out a song about being blind sided, he's taking half the house that he didn't pay for.

So you didn't get a print up.

I did get a print up. IT was kind of like that our what the fuck .

what the fuck I remember .

being on tour and um I had just gone home. I had like through two shows and then one night off and I flew home to pack up my shit in the house because we were listing at and flew back to denver and got on a call with my manager in my lawyer in their like know that he wants at the house that others reading the print up or there is there is messy alyona language and and I just remember being on something being like, can you articulate to me that I have like a choice right now to either give up half of the house that I .

bought you that .

I bought and he contributed, but not not equal and or say legally in this marriage and have like public alone hearings indefinitely and they were like, that's correct and I was like giving the house. I went IT out. I want out.

give me out. How do that make you feel when you .

got got here's the thing. And this is the thing that I soft to work on. IT makes me not trust myself.

IT makes me not trust myself because i'm hurt people, hurt people. I totally get that. And I have Grace. I really do, because I do. I do know that he was hurt in his hurt.

But like, how did I how was I marry to this person for this long? And I had no idea that that that bit of character was tucked within that human being. That's what's hard for me. That's what's hard for me.

When I go, although back to the beginning of this interview and your friends were like, you have way more IT again than he does. Don't let him take place and then I get IT the feeling of like, oh my god, it's fucking happening yeah it's all happening. It's a really shit feeling and I also appreciate you ve been like, I have to have somewhat blame myself like that it's hard and you ve got to like, look in word like, what did I miss?

I takes two to tango totally ally. And I think anyone that like looks at the downfall of any kind of relationship and just points their finger has a lot of work to do on themselves. So you know, like I I take a lot of ownership and I like, you know, I write, I write there, like i've shared all my secrets and I paid for all my crimes. Like, I was not perfect, but I gave my honesty to who I would IT to.

When you look back at this whole situation, what part of yourself do you feel like you lost? Or you kind of like silence and push down during that marriage that now you're like, wow, like, look at me now. Like I think like I like awake.

I think that I allowed there to be such a fear around getting divorce at twenty nine. I think for me. I think he loves me more at twenty three, and I love me more twenty nine.

How are you finding a more positive spin than rather accepting the shame that society puts on women of like, oh god, she's divorce?

I think it's just all about ford motion. You know, like first of all, asking yourself the question, would you rather be a lonely in a relationship, lonely alone, coming to terms of that blowing up your life just in letting IT, letting the dust settles? It's going to that's been hard for me.

I love that you use the word blowing up your life because I really do feel pick of them. No, yeah. And I feel like IT feels that way, right? And I bet so many people listening are in a situation where they're like, oh, fuck, I wish I was you, Kelsey, because I haven't blown my set up yeah and i'm just staying in IT because I don't know how to end IT and I don't know if you have any advice to someone of like how the fuck do you get the current because in your mind, you actually are saying i'm about to blow my life up.

You're not yeah like but it's i'm not I would say the same thing if I was going through IT yeah feels like that in the moment. So how do you now that you're on the other side of IT to speak to people maybe that are like, I can blow my life up, like our families, like each other, our friends and our lives are entangled, like have a house together. We may have kids together. And what do you say to someone that's like stuck in IT?

I think asking yourself what the worst case scenario is like, is the worst case scenario feeling like you're feeling forever? Or is IT his mom being made at you? Is IT T M Z running a story? What is that the worst case scenario? It's alright.

You're right. Worst case is fucking staying and something that makes you miserable.

Worst case is staying in something where you are not honoring your self. And in doing that, you're not honoring them and are not allowing them to go live the life that they want to live.

You go through this divorce. You are like, oh my god, dogs like anything is think of what you like. We should have been fucked in drink.

We have been. See, go to the divorce. Yeah, you're finding yourself, your figuring your ship out.

Yes, man.

how do you know you are ready to date again?

Oh god, am I ready to date again? Looks like you. I don't know.

I know. Listen, I think obviously, he and eyes, he and dragons are different. I think I agreed a lot of the marriage in the marriage.

And so I think I was really good to open back up and I don't actually have no idea what is doing us right now. But I I just felt, why not? Yeah why not? I've never really dated.

I don't know how IT works. I'm like what just put ourselves out there. Let's just vive and and been fun.

I love that too, because I feel like, and I get IT like we just talked about like a bunch of, like a relationship and divorce and then i'm like, so what about dating? It's like you gotta move on.

You, you have I just supposed to stay here now. Be sad forever.

Don't right. You deserve Better. Yeah, are you single in .

my single? In my single 干嘛？ No.

I would be so clear on color dating everybody ask someone if they're single if it's not an immediate yeah, you didn't even have to say, no, no, you're like.

I know, I know, I know, I know I got .

bathroom so you're dating chase jokes.

I'm just by me.

okay? Well, I wanted, see I wedding. Enjoy no more. Okay, can I ask you? Yes.

I have anything this time we go way back, chooses.

We saw the photo of you and chase, and now there's more photos of you and chase. What does that feel like though, to have that be so public? And like, did you at all think about your x and like what he would think when he saw those photos?

No, no. Well, no, because i'm not married anymore and I don't need to care about his feelings anymore. I mean that with all the respect in the world, but his journey is not mine anymore, and so I hope that he is protected from whatever he needs to be protected from saying, I will be as people in his life that help them do that.

That is not my job. How did you? That's going be a hot take, and i'm going to get .

pick apart for that. What you supose to do, not do stuff because .

an x is gonna IT. And i'm not exploiting what I what I am, am not doing .

what you're about .

you right now. Yeah yeah no I because I do want to be respectful and um and also it's new. Everything's new for me um dating um being photographed with someone like it's all really new and i'm tip towing and I am like happy and i'm really, really learning a lot about myself and how I show up in a relationship and how I show up for myself and and it's been like a really beautiful reawakening, I guess.

And if you're trying to flop around that, they come right back. And how did you guys me I saw into the dames I fucking love when people say dms what did you say what .

I was just like, i'm not going to go on APP and honestly, you know, he shoots and Charles stand and my my manager lives there and he like put the bug in mayor he was like and who's really cute like when you're ready, chase and I was like, so right now I ve never seen the go and but I just knew of him and yeah so I followed him and he followed me and I just swan over right on that.

You have to not maybe give us the exact, but give this idea like what the fucker you're citing and with .

his handle is high chase stokes and I said, high chase stokes .

of wow and then he immediately answered, you guys kind of, look, you we're manifesting.

baby. okay. So now that you're kind .

of and to now a new relationship, how are you in your head? Are you let IT yourself just go for IT? Are you being about like do you have a certain different way about going into a relationship now with what you learned in your past for sure?

chair. Oh, I just I feel I feel like because I I I think i'm finally an adult, I think that just happened over the last couple of years. And I feel like what that means to me is like I have opinions.

I have a career that is a priority for me to show up for myself in the people that i've aligned with along this journey. I have aspirations and goals that are tied to know one, and those are all really important things like my shift together, you know, I mean, and for me to share that with anyone is a gift. And I want to, I want to be with someone that feels the same way about their life. And I wanted to feel even that middle grounds that i'm so bad at. I am eager to find that.

okay. You have to just give us a little insight of like going on a date with someone and then a photo of them just being like all over the internet. What do the two of you say when that should happen?

Like when you're sitting in your apartment or you're with him, you're in your house, where the fuck are you? What are you guys saying when that comes out wherever you are? Or what is happening when that comes out?

Well, he he kind of full Cindy a little bit. So basically, we had been hanging out and people got a photo of us, the game of the championship. And so that was kind of going.

And he was like, I mean, it's gonna keep going. So should I just like, poke the bear and I was like, sure. And that the poking the bear was like a photo of me, just like.

leaning any on him. How long had you guys spend together before that photo league?

Um I mean, we weren't even togethers like so relative, I don't even really know. Like we have been talking for since the beginning of december.

Okay, so that you would like what is going for IT, you're having fun, haven't fun. What is your mentality now around marriage? Getting married again, would you ever do? IT, how do you feel about IT?

Any time i've had a hard note is something i've come back later in my life and chAllenged that. So right now I would I would say I don't think I will get married again. I love the idea again, the partnership and a relationship bitch. But I I don't know if I even even like the legality of IT all um anymore. And I think if you want to be with someone that should be a daily choice, I am also just fresh out of like a that like a brute or moment so subject to change, right?

You're like a, you're like marry. If I get IT, what would you say to someone right now in this moment that's listening, watching and he's going through heartbreak?

No, I would say be proud of how you're going to handle IT twenty years. I would say only we out through and I would say. Ticula so much to clear, I love you.

You like so much that IT gets you right. It's going to be alright. What would you say to twenty two year old, healthy right now in the sea where you're sitting?

Oh my god. Oh, what when I tell myself at twenty two, you are going to learn that pissing people off is okay, and actually it's necessary. You are going to learn that you can be a good person or not good for somebody.

You are going to learn that um your circle needs to shrink a little bit and that's gna hurt and that's going to be awesome. And you're gonna learn that twenty nine is going to look a hell of a lot different than he thought I would. And so far, so good.

healthy. Dalla, thank you so much for coming and call her dad.

Thank you so much.