Jackie Schimmel: Confident Girls > Mean Girls (FBF)
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What is that daddy game? IT is your founding father, alex Cooper, with call. Okay, jackie shambo .

welcoming hardon were on. I figured .

we have Henry. Leo, can you may be? Come in.

Richard. Oh, my good Richard. Come here.

Treats we look at his body.

IT baffles me. He's so load of the ground in screen. Look at his body type.

How do you explain his body type? I get to come you .

leo kitchi over here. Can you be A B? I would say that he is reverse parish ped and his father is para shaped, and he's reverse pair shape.

Are you doing about his fathers and your husband?

Yes, Andrew Andrews pair shape. He's one hundred percent pair shape t shape. Now.

I didn't toy that. That was paris shaped once. It's not bad.

I don't love the shaking element. And speaking of shaping, I am wearing burlap pants. It's a hundred degrees. I feel like I have a White woman like cocktail reception in my vagina.

They look, they look great.

itchy in the wrong places.

So you're a fellow pod caster. yeah. And I was thinking about this, someone. I asked people to write and like, what do you guys wanted to talk about god and people were like, how are you guys friends? And I like, how do we?

That's rude.

no. How are you guys? Like, how did you guys become friends? How to fucker the two of you? I like that kind of makes a lot of you guys don't get IT like we're kind of similar at all. No, and I was like, how how did we become friends? Okay.

I told really know how this happened. Tell us also.

I love, i'm drinking ice coffee. I never do this before. But I figured I am so comfortable to you that if I need to shit my pants during the interviews.

I can a full dolin of marcha and i'd probably will ship. But you won't know i'm wearing burlap pant.

What are burp?

And you know, like when you go to like a sad live life of wedding and they have like those were up table cloth and the cocktail hour.

yeah yeah you're wearing them although oh yeah, like I get that that looks like beach half .

bes actually they're gucci fuck off.

I actually love when you're wearing designer but there you have to clarify their designer because they don't, they don't appear. designer. No, really joy.

They're like you and you need to pull this down.

I need to see your face. You look great today. Yeah, I do. Don't you podcast for a living?

Yeah, but I don't do. Video.

oh.

that is by clearing concise design, honey.

I also, that's one of my least favorite about doing video as i've had to start putting like makeup up like a little tinted moist yeah ah yeah, even for a solo, those are i'm definitely.

I look worse, what's going on with the flowers and so, like, what's happened? What is this?

Let me just be so clear.

Why are they so erect? No, speaking of my clocks, tail hour.

Let me be so clear.

Wearing your cousin.

what is going on? Okay, you know, this is a good conversation to start off with. Yeah, my set I started with, like, a vision.

What was that vision? Can we just get some, like, hot pink orchids? Okay, aren't you rich?

Here's the issue we start. I started with the vision of, like, big, cozy coffee chairs.

What is? What is that turquois face? This is called .

turn tight balls.

It's like an earn. It's like a sad low. But shiva in here, what is going on? Okay, let me playing you.

So sorry, i'm so happy someone called dark because every time someone comes in here, there's like, it's so cute in here like IT looks like a grandmother's room. No, I like this. You like this.

I don't understand what's happening with your Floral concept. Richard, it's okay. It's anxious. okay.

We, Richard is having a pink tag. And anyways, like, get the fucker for me. Are you? Are you? But I see. Okay, we just .

seen a break.

Do you want to hold him? OK Richard, don't fucking. I love Henry has like a zero giver. Fox, okay.

we're going if we're .

going to OK. So when I designed this room, I really had a vision. I had a vision where the chairs, I think we need to take your dog to the no.

he does this all the time. IT literally is like he gets overwhelmed. We went to the bahamas a couple of years ago, and he was in such emotional distress that we left him, that he had like a whole anxiety condition. We almost put on project.

How the fucker we friends, how do we become friends?

Okay, you know, it's so funny. I don't even know if you remember this. We met during the pandemic in person.

We had D M. A couple times now. I I didn't know who you were, but I knew that you and your ex partner had this show.

I had a heard of color, daddy, and then you had dammed me a couple times, I think, or maybe maybe your x partner had dammed me a couple times and I ignored them because i'm a lovely person. And then somehow during the pandemic, I think we started talking on instagram and following each other. And then, like, so annoying, met up. But I came like any net friend and then did a podcast. I will never forget .

how bad that podcast was. You didn't know swap. I had no idea.

No, never to do again. IT, so who's calling me? This is so unprofessional.

I mean, you would never do this with hailey bieber.

I would have my phone in the different room. Me, while, like how let me .

have rush flowers, the earth would be put away this is some .

bullsh you know you're right. That's how we became friends. First we started podcast friends and and then after we podcast ted, I remember we were like how we like each other and then we had the connection where, you know my boyfriend through childhood yeah, and it's like a whole thing who had ended up working out and then like family.

friends and stuff a hundred percent. But you know, as a poddar ter, you meet a lot of fuck, and people I know fuck with that many people I really done.

And you keep coming back around me.

I yeah, I like you. I don't know what's wrong with me.

I appreciate you coming on because I am desperate for a guest right now from the holidays.

We can do any even look me in the eye and say, desperate for guest or I will shake you in the backyard, desperate for a guest.

I like you are like all.

I don't have guests.

No, you know what that I wanted to say? Anyone that is new, you have balls. You know, you ve got a big vagina, massive save. And do you always argue how you've to pull a multiple times?

But you know that here's the thing. And if there's one thing that I want to say on color, daddy, today, is that my vagina is not wide IT is shallow. So for a lot, I have a very shallow of vagina and i'm a woman of extreme efficiency.

So like I don't understand light girly is like you go to fuck in cvs and you're getting tamp on light. We already have to deal with the pink tax, and I am having the glorious sina moment. Get ready for IT.

We already have to pay the pink tax. All boxes of tamp ons are the same Price. okay. So why would you go light when you can go all to. Just from a fiscal .

step by the ultras.

fuck, yeah, I will. I have fit two ultras in side by side, like fighter pilot jets, like.

fuck top gun. One time I bought, I thought I was buying super, and I realized I bought super plus and I was like, oh, this is like in the big leagues, I didn't even know there was ultra.

I can a dog ultras. And you think about IT, okay? You're either like changing lights every twenty minutes or you alter that shape. You're ready to rumble. You can fly a fucking in abb derby.

Have you ever bled through an old truck?

A fuck? Ah.

yeah, okay.

that's good. Came out of me, slid down the count.

Isn't that the worst when you have a time on and you can feel its its coming out .

there is let me tell you something. I was coming back from paris, okay, a few months ago, and I had an ultra because I, you know, a feminist, and I was going through customs and I thought I was good to go because I did like a mid flight switch room. And thank god I was wearing a jogger pant with an elastic ankle because something happened during customs where I was like, SHE has left my body and I fell out and IT was just pulling up my ankle. Sorry, I know her threats causing out. This is really discuss.

Are you saying that your ultrathin on popped out of your vagina and slow and steady.

like a ski to bag in just IT? And I was like, I was trying to like, like tilt my pelvic floor and like kiko IT back in. But he had the ultra, had we enter.

sitting at the bottom of essentially the elastic pocket of your jogger. And what did you do? Because customs, therefore, no move in.

Like I said, thank god I had elastic ankle and I just moved low and slow. Like I was just like, where with your husband? No, I was alone, which is kind of unfortunate. S, I would have loved to like have that experience.

I actually grew you when something like funny or embarrassing or like out of body is happening when you're a loan IT can be even worse slash funny or because you yeah you're going through the internal self dialogue of what do I do? What do I do? You would be Better out where we go in, what am I going to do? What are we going from here?

Do I just like turn a blind eon, like keep on moving with my fun kin passport or do I pick IT up, like, I don't know, almost wanted to, like, tell people in the line because I thought .

I was so hilarious. I have never, I will say to anyone listening if you were having like a bad day, just think that you've never had an old truck slip out of .

your and take a train mattress.

come out of your vagina and and slip down your leg. When did you take IT out?

Oh, I went. I like I didn't run. I could run by to a very slow straw to the bathroom. And yeah.

I want you to like, take me through iterations of yourself through light. So like, started like Young jackie. No, no. Like bar. No, no little bit like, do you know i'm saying, like bring me back to Young jackie and walk us through so people can really get to know like who you are and the evolution of you.

I am embarrass to say that my evolution has been pretty non evolution ized. Like I have been like kind of the same my whole life.

I was just about what I was able to get away with, you know because like when you do have a heave headgear in gingivitis and you're like like things aren't landing the same way when you're in seventh grade is when you're thirty two, you know what I mean? Like it's it's taken years for me like fully be like all caps myself in public. But as a kid I was super obnoxious. I was annoying as fuck.

I hated socializing but like I did the things that you won't a loser um but I was always like, I loved like doing like characters and I was always like doing bits and I was like just annoying as my parents were like literally go play on the freeway like that was like like I wasn't allowed to be in the house, which is interesting as now I have this like weird thing where I can't be home from ten to four. Like I have to be out of the house because I have like this weird like neil energy about IT and I just don't like festering at home IT makes me feel like a loser. Where do you go anywhere and i'll sit in parking lots. I don't care.

I do not like being home. We.

it's the weird thing .

we OK so can you?

So as a kid, my parents, will I get the fuck out of the house and you just go, oh, I would. I mean, self amusement is truly like the rythm of my dance floor. Like, I love being a loan.

I love being untethered. I like doing weird shit. I don't care. I never have cared if other people get IT or think it's funny. I like you just said IT makes IT funnier when nobody else understands it's so true.

Someone deemed me, I posted something the other day where I was like, it's not that revolutionary like, i'm just alone a lot 什么 like， I love holic you and jackie always make me feel Better because you guys are just always a loan and like doing should alone was comfortable alone. And why would I want to be with anyone else? I why I, to be with anyone else.

feel like the most myself when, and like comfortable. And yes, I do have like slight ocd tendencies as diagnosed by a licensed professional, but I feel like so alive and present when I buy myself, I don't feel like I got to start tap the, yes, yes. And i'm happier meet you. Okay, by, by, by guy.

go to a go. No, I appreciate that. Can you explain what ginger evites is? And also, sure I did. You have to publicly .

wear and he, I didn't sleep overs were thing I did have like those rubber vans that like really and unfortunately, i've always loved a mixed metal, so I would go like gold, silver, like it's like on my races.

Okay, so you have .

to this is a condition, a dental, medical condition, in which you have hypersensitive, inflamed gums. So I had an allergy to the cement on the places, you know. So my gumbs like, I had no teeth.

IT was just gum and metal. And then I would have to get my braces off every month, which is I had them for almost five years because I needed to let the gums breathe. Yeah, and they would just bleed constantly. I just always, I mean, bleeding out of my of vagina.

bleeding out of my gums. It's hot. Why do I feel like that made you this is so and so?

Why do I feel like that made you. I like say. A mouth breather.

In I A mouth free.

I I feel like back in the day you would be a mouth reader because, like.

oh yeah, there were so many fluids. And I always had a role on the class to boot. So I was so shiny. And so like I was I was a live.

okay ay, so you were about breather, had a you had a head gear.

but I was like in on IT and I was also hugged a lot as a kid. So I was like I would come home like if I ever had, like, any type of insecurity like I said that, you know, like in middle school I wasn't super cute, but I had, I really like lean.

then got the time, whatever.

Like, he wants to be hot in middle.

embarrassing that something where I remember, where people are trying to expose me for my Younger photos. And at first, like, I like, knocked on through there are so ugly. Like, I was so awkward.

And I was like, I felt like I was doing waca model. I try to get people to not know what I look like. And then I was like, how incredible to know that I didn't fuck in peak in middle school, you down, bitches like you. And it's like, see people's middle school photos. Most of the people, this is so fucked up, sorry.

But most of the people that apol to me.

most of the people that we're like the hot chicks in middle school, are now addicted to, like math. Yes, I didn't go well if, and I think, listen if you're listening and you are a beauty .

queens and and .

stay one fuck you yeah I was going to .

say fuck you and also like I even know I don't really think I don't put like a lot of weight on how I look like that's not where I get self steam at all.

Talk about .

that um I don't know. I mean I think that like I i'm lucky that I had a good childhood and i've always felt pretty secure ish and I just have never like thought that that was a sustainable way to get self a steam like, yeah, I just don't think that's like the thing that people should aspire to get attention for. I agree, I think i'm gorgeous.

Really don't get IT wrong.

like I just want you to know if you're not watching the video. I also happen to be super cute.

If you're listening to those quickly, just tune in. You will swap off the road. If you see this beauty sitting.

you will get a boner that will go through your wind shields. However, no, I I have met like some of the most beautiful people in the world that I think I are fuck and busted because they're so boring and especially nowadays yeah in twenty twenty two, I think we really need to prioritize like some fucked in personality and opinions because i'm bored with everybody on the fucking in internet. It's called shelf life. Have fun.

When I was doing research for this, which was minimal, I wrote down something that I thought was interesting and I was like, I I thought I knew you. K, and apparently I don't know you at all. I was like, I think jacky shamoon is suddenly a version of anaya. okay? And then IT .

really clicks.

I was like, display. Ch, ought her fucking and art there? And on the together you fake a college diploma u to get a job.

Yeah can you please confirm and clarify? And first, before I didn't be clear, I wasn't like going on to jackie should try to find if he has been arrested. It's like on your website, you're like, yeah, I fake to my college.

One, yeah. So first of, did you ever attend ucl? A no.

okay, but I lived in off campus housing. Like I somehow was able IT was a different time. I was able to get to the U.

C, L, A like roommate housing side. why? Yeah, and I lived all U.

C, L. A students like in and off campus, like housing. Okay, established.

I need you. I think when I was reading about that, I was like, okay, I have cheated on tests.

The.

of course, who and i've gone to extreme length of, like cheating and I got caught a couple times, but I feel like IT takes a certain level .

of like sick.

like no fear of consequence. Ces, to fake and to give someone to resume that you apply for a job like I went to, you see later, how did you come up with this? How did you make this happen?

And are you good at photoshop? Um, you know what? I photoshop didn't exist back then, but I did have the paint .

APP humble brag. So you created a fake poma from U. C. L.

A. I had gone to community college for literally one day, couldn't have been like less interested. I was like, this is terrible.

I graduated high school with a one point eight GPA. It's like my favorite thing to drop in. We really .

are no interest in school, no drive, no, no concern that like you wouldn't get a job.

No, I wasn't like thinking that far. I kind of just figured like I just like get in there and like, you know what .

confidence dilution the fact that you were like one point, whatever the fuck GPA, how do you even also even .

get that it's actually quite accomplished. You basically have to fail everything. It's like straight days. It's like decencies yeah through for four years.

So then you go to community logic .

for one day for one day could not be bothered. I was like, this is not my fuck and journey so I actually lied my parents for like a year instead that I was going to college. And I, doctor, that's how I got my paint APP photoshop skills.

I was faking report cars. And my parents were like, very hands off. They trust me way too much like they like, weren't asking questions. They weren't like, how was like? They just didn't ask.

what the fuck? What are you doing during this time?

You know, there was this amazing cheese shop downtown. I was cooking. I was eating a drinking box wine. I was like, going on walk. I was, I don't .

know what have a job and then .

eventually I while always lying my parents, I got an internship. So then I and then lied to them and said, I was graduating college, but I was only a soft more. And then they offered me a job. And that just kind of started kick started my fraudulent a life.

And then you literally just started giving people saying you into ucl a how i'm interested to know because I think when you start a lie, IT can tumble, tumble, tumble far. Were you buying like bruins ucl year? Like wow bruin. Like what? Like wow.

Well, I only was lying to like human resources or like people like super hi up that I wasn't with everyday. So like every, by the way, I have no fucking and chill. I am like the most.

I have border line to rett where I have to tell everyone everything all the time. So I think that this was a real learning curve. But everyone that I was working with like kind of kind.

interesting. And then hr didn't no.

and IT didn't really I didn't really cause a problem until I started working at, like I really, you know, esteemed financial institution where they did this little thing called hot tip employment verification. So part of that is they call all the admissions offices and then they like, confirm your degree and what happened?

Well.

the good news is that I was in charge of employment verification, so I just kept taking mind, putting IT at the bottom of the list.

stop. And then did you ever get caught? No, i'm GTA honestly say I respect IT because I think IT takes a level of I don't know the words like it's really a balls y move that I don't think a lot of people could pull off like what would .

be the worst that could happen? Oh no, i'd get fired from my reception is gig at the financial institution where I was all day like.

no, you're right. I guess it's actually really innovative and crafty. Where do you get your confidence from?

Um I I think that I myself all the time and I like myself and I understand that not everyone is gona fuck with me and that's totally cool。

I appreciate that because I feel like IT takes. I feel like no one says, like, I like myself because that would be like you're an r in your ego. I X, no, I just like myself. I've tt a live with myself here. So I don't think .

I like the pretty person in the entire world. I don't think i'm necessarily that smart. I don't think i'm the funniest person I don't like.

I don't think any of those things about myself. I'm just like, happy. I get to like, do the thing is me.

I was what else. So am I going to be miserable? I want to wake up and be like, god do a jack. You need veneers like whatever who cares is like that's such a waste of time.

It's like what the real reason you're here today.

kay.

you are here. I'm actually sweating to you're here defending a woman's right to wear an ankle boot.

Oh yes.

for anyone that has no idea what i'm fucking talking about. Morgan Stewart t came on the pocket itch, came on my podcast and have the odd asy to fuck up every single person that works that call her di rowin. I've been on team zoos of people being like, alex, what am I supposed to do to have to throw my ankle boot? Let me just clarify to anyone that has no idea what were talking about. Morgan IT came on, called her dad and basically took a hard stance against tankle boots.

I have a lot of thoughts about this. okay? yeah. I have known Morgan and love her dearly for years and years, a very good friend. And I know that when Morgan assassinated the ankle boot in early november of twenty twenty two, I I can close my eyes and envision what he was talking about. I think she's thinking of like a round to luberon chunky heel, like the club rat OK shoe.

Okay.

I will say as a woman with very long famous, i'm talking about myself and gorgeous sculpted chins talking about myself, that I look very good in an ankle. But dare I say, stunning leg porn, only fans.

So this is controversial because he said, not even arena di rena. good. So you're essentially saying you are more gorgeous on the lower.

Then I read a ship. I do suffer with dramatist s on my legs, so i'm working on IT. But but I fuck with an ankle boot. Now, Morgan has since specified.

Now I call her. I want to call her. I just sent more in my location. Come through bit when we look color.

that is drama.

It's very drama and like, where are you a lot? SHE should be. What else is he doing? He is just got some kids.

whatever a big. wow. no. Oh, hi. Morgan, hey, morning hi.

And putting you once might not doing this right. Okay, here I am. I'm so just .

now I got IT. SHE is also being recorded .

and being recorded OK. I like you.

I like you. And i'm saying across from jackie.

I chemo, uh.

we lover we've been talking to, I knew for twenty minutes.

have you? No, you guys likes me too much to do that.

okay, we need you to settle. Ankle gay, ankle boot gay. I just want, you know, the amount of women that have now thrown out all of their ankle boots because of you. It's been honestly and abroad that happened. And I want to give you the chance to clarify, what did you mean?

what? What did you mean? Morgan? Later, the Opera said, he wasn't eating me anymore.

This is what I ve done to the ankle food industry, like I have not realized this. And your friends close IT things are flooded. It's very clear. First of all, to use our dear friend jackie as an example from dinner, a flat combat boot is not the ankle boot I was referring to.

I was referring to the the black swag heeled ankle boot with the inner zipper, where the zipper inside the boot, and the only real issue I had is when that is being used as a heel. And IT is an exposed ankle boots like an angle boot with a sheer tight and a mini skirt. Not doesn't work.

Okay, okay. I actually wanna go ahead and say I agree with you.

I agree with thank.

Okay, okay. Because I think this is thing. How many people wearing an ankle? Bo, and then there's like your pant goes over IT and you're wearing if I can .

boot with the gene, great, great. no.

But when you're wearing, yes, yes. But when you're wearing a dress or a sky or even shorter genes, little two thousand and twelve, it's like although Steve main, we're giving we're .

in empire north very clear. So everybody at home understands is you're also wearing a skinny black pound or cane and IT fits into the ankle food. You still don't talk the pant into the group.

O, K, O, K.

unless it's a best. I was just going to use that as a counter argument. Oh, oh, oh, I literally Morgan store.

I was just gonna save as someone with gorgeous chins. You know, how is about marant? Does that little dip in the front? That little dip dip? Me looked good in the dip dip.

yes. So jackie's been bragging about her shins. Oh, we just hung up.

Okay, apparently I don't know if I hung up on her. Her phone died. Goodbye, Morgan. You've already hyder time on holiday.

This is jack about you, Morgan.

This is about me. okay. So I actually think that clarifies a lot.

And I do feel Better about IT, not now not going to answer if SHE calls. Yeah, I think I feel Better. I do. You still stand by the, are you gonna go to an event with a dress and an ankle?

Bo, I would never wear a heeled ankle boot. okay? I would really like a western style ankle boot with like a little bit of a heel ah, but not like a stiled to ankle.

Of course not. Now I could never. I mean, even if I was, I would lie about IT harassing, bullying.

Is really interesting to see how powerful that conversation was. I like you got to say anything today that is going to traumatize my audience probably let me get myself some water.

I know been screaming about ankle boots. Oh, i'll put this in the cute cut. Oh, wow, paper straws. I'll give you a fuck and heart take.

Fuck the turtles.

I like plastic straws.

You know what? Although I I I actually agree with you in terms of way, I love that. That's like the .

most controversial thing you could ever said. I was said like a fucking and dinner and I said something like I was like an influence your dinner we don't will never talk about IT again i'm so I only went to one and then I got like, basically and I said something about like, bring back the plastic dras and I was like, I had just said, like I had done like a hail hit, lurch something like IT was like IT was like the whole like there was like a rock wave of shame and disappointment and these girls were like, that's just like, not cool and I can't make a joke about plastic straws I cut them up when i'm done to save little baby. Franklin know Franklin.

of course I know. I think you're right. There's bigger issues of how to solve the issues of the environment. Stop doing on your private planes. Oh yeah.

How about let's like tackle bigger issue?

Yeah yeah.

You think you're superior because you suck out of a paper limped straw, that composed table.

Yeah.

I love IT love IT shout out I was single. Use plastic six guys, okay. Well.

let's talk about our dinner the other night. We'll start with this. We went to tower bar.

We just like a great place to go, right? great. Five dark with a great conversation about mean girls.

And like adult mean girls, I am talking, we're not talking about the movie mean and girls. I'm talking about like a real life women that itches. Yes, I wanted know, how do you define a mean girl?

I think a mean girl is probably someone that's dealing with securities and therefore is deeply through threatened and put off by people who feel who feel like they at highlights what they dislike about themselves. I think a mean girl is someone who projects a very different version of themselves to the public. And then, you know, behind closed ours is just like showing mad shit that says nothing about the other person is all about them, or someone who someone who can be friends with someone who's doing Better than them is a fucking and .

mean girl I completely agree with. I think every .

or do due to the same way IT takes, like if you can be happy for someone that's doing Better than you or or has something that you want and there's not a there should never be a thing. Yeah, I don't feel like there should be a lingering sting.

I I agree with you and I something I was thinking about like I am with you on the meal thing. I think there's like such a deeper ted insecurity and there almost feels like there's underlying like anger in them.

Everybody deals with like feeling like they're not enough or they are not funding and smart success. What whatever IT is, everybody has those feelings. You need to buck up, grab your vagina and differentiate that.

How your feeling has no merit. What other people are doing, you need to be like this. Yes, you need to like what do you do like just find that to be is so embarrassing.

Listen, I think there is a different level of like everyone talk shit.

it's a bonding technique a it's theraputics. It's really not that big of a fucked and deal.

You can tell when someone's talking shit and it's like a genuine like, oh, you're like really upset about that. You're like bother yes. Like it's a joke yeah but we're chilling. Like are too close to IT if you're so bothered, how would you handle a mean girl who you can tell us like genuinely trying to like make you feel .

like shit um I think like in any situation you have to get ahead of IT and like directness is always the best way IT throws people off. Especially you get one of those kinds of girls that's like really trying to like weapon name like fuck you up you like you want to dance, let's start fencing like the parent trap like you, anna, play, let's fuck and play. I'll stop you right in the I ball.

We're not doing this dance. So I like to nip shit in the bud and let them know what time IT is. Like, I, C, we're watching a different movie. You're watching mean, girls, and i'm watching pulls, guys. You know what I mean, like, I do not fuck like that.

So what the fuck would you say to someone I be?

Like, what is your intent here? Are you trying to like, you just have to, like, get a pie flashlight and just roll me like like what is your agenda here?

Just cutting, right? Because I think people could also argue like just killing people with kindness.

I don't journey.

That's perfect, not mine. Also I will say I think sometimes with my energy and like I just like, don't have the energy for you, like be a bitch and I like.

so embarrass and you can just sit a little shiva and CPI friends.

I ve had people right in if someone's being a bitch to me, you can really say, hey, Caroline, like Caroline.

don't know anyone. Caroline, what's the agenda .

of this conversation? Yeah, what my data always told me that is, what's your point?

Yeah, what's your point?

Because they're like, well, I put, you know, what's your actual point? Where are we going here?

And there's something that so off putting about being like very brazen in a conversation when you can feel that someone's trying to like miss you, put you into a corner to say something so you look stupid or embarrass you. Just you just lean the fuck in, go harder and humor defuses everything and is like the ultimate like it's just it's the card. It's the card that always fucking wins your right you're right. So you can diverse anything and say exactly what you need to and make IT like light, like fluffy and not drama because I don't play that game either. There's nothing more chrge an embarrassing you don't be the girl crying at a dinner because like kd from malaya hurt feelings because he doesn't like your ankle boots making IT about me and .

literally I get we are saying.

just like take control of the narrative. Yeah, make IT funny and be unbothered. How do we make IT funny?

How do you make IT funny? I think you get ahead of IT. I think like self deprecating always really works, yes. But like if someone said.

say, a girls in a room with everyone and like a guide in not end up texting the girl back and her friends are fucking and she's like, yeah well, john, I didn't take a bag .

like public because I have herbes like.

oh, it's probably because i've like small tips to know us and you like it's something like making fun of yourself that .

because I have herbes but like all just like killing tonight. I knew where did you just like, get ahead of you. Like, cow.

My god, what will I do? I'm probably just gonna die alone. And just so uncle able.

and you say that maybe not that exact thing, but you say, like, you are going to die alone, right? Carston, what's your point?

Yeah curson do feel good. Yeah cursin yeah curson you like cursing you?

good.

Very in.

What do you think is a character flaw? yours?

Oh, without a doubt, no hesitation. I can lack empathy. I can be very, very good empathetic towards myself and towards everybody else. I don't have like an amazingly large sensitivity ship. So sometimes now i've learned to just take .

get a little bit .

because it's the best I can do. But I don't really have like the thresh hold to sit at a lunch. And I hear my girlfriend complained about her boyfriend over and over. And then they break up and then they get back and then he hates him. And then I have little to zero empathy for like, and even things that are worse than that.

Like i'm a little distance. You're gonna be more like the friend that's like we've had this conversation ten times. We can talk about this anymore. Like you got to break up with yeah or shut the fucking up. Do you think that comes more with like experience in age?

I think IT comes from a lot of things. I think i'm like predisposition to just be like that. I've kind of always been like that, which is terrible and then i've like been through shed.

I lost my mom pretty suddenly. I love like i've been through like a lot of like seemingly traumatic events and I don't use those like as a cause yeah I don't know. I just and you're not suited to do this, you're never specially like compare like traumas are tragedies. But like I I just I think that a lot of complaining is so um counter productive.

I actually a can totally see we are coming from my my best friend had lost her father yeah and I remember having A A conversation with her where shoes, like everything, now just sounds s so like dumb, like dumb. Shut the fuck up. Oh my god.

And then like, I mean, you'll get friends that that call you that need to talk about like something that is so trivial. And if you're someone who doesn't like I and i'm working on IT, but I am not someone who like leans on people I I try i've been Better about IT. I don't like attention for sad stuff.

so I have a hard .

time understanding and comprehending and like being a pillar of support for people who are so countable getting attention for sad stuff.

You know I think it's also there's a lot of people that finds like almost get fueled and find like connection through yeah connecting being like just complaining about everything to their person and rome on and I actually I am similar to you in that aspect of like I remember I would be interested in this effected you with your husband but like, yeah I remember in the beginning of dating my boyfriend would always be like, okay, I am your partner. I can tell you upset about something like do you want to share IT totally? I like growth out by like talking about my issues because .

I feel like .

i'm too aware that there like it's trivial to me. It's big right now, but this is trivial like I don't we don't need to talk about IT, i'm upset about this. Like, yeah, let's move on where than my partner like, yeah but like this is like if you're upset about this, like, let's talk about IT totally. Does Andrew ask you to like, baby, can you give me like a little?

Yeah, I think that he I has been finites like feels close and wants to share and once and I I just i've worked on IT a lot. I still have a lot of broom to grow because it's just not my thing like this is not my IT is so uncomfortable for me. I get like just I just like IT to buy IT.

I A self processor and I just it's where I do the clearest thinking and healing. And I get defensive sometimes, even with friends, because I feel like they IT validates them for me to dump or to, you know, emotionally IT validates the relationship, or that i'm turning to them or i'm leaning on them. And maybe that's me being like fucked up and guarded, which IT could be. But I don't need to do that. So I don't want to do that.

I just think, listen, if you feel like your you process shit alone I think especially for women, you almost feel like what's why .

do I not want to like or you're being guarded or you're like secretive. It's so not everyone's fucked in different. If you don't feel like sharing.

you don't have to say, okay, you brought up your mom yeah, I have a lot of people right in that are like, how do I handle grief and I understand everyone deals .

with IT differently.

but how would you give advice to someone that is like recently going through grief? Yeah like how to even understand IT handle IT move forward.

I mean IT really is like case by case and I think that people who are like going through like a very difficult time should know that literally everything is temporary like everything in the world is temporary um and for me I was I like going through like a really weird time where I was just like my whole world was shocked like everything I thought I knew was different like every, like every security anchor was gone and I was like freeboard lin and I was like, what the fuck so in those situations, whether you're grieving or not grieving, like and your life is up rooted in your transitional periods, it's like you either think or you swim.

But for me, staging is not an option. So obviously, like I go through so many things, it's like a random tuesday where you're just like crying in a car and you're like, what the fuck? I've always use humor to deal with everything that makes everything easier.

And for people who don't understand, I totally get IT. I've got friends that are like, you are so fucking weird, this is so dark, what is wrong with you? I understand that too for me i've always used IT.

IT makes everything easier to digest. It's not like it's not deflecting coping. It's kind of like IT IT is what IT is you know what I mean um and I would say like you kind of have to make like an internal decision. Are you gonna think you're going to swim for me my whole agenda when my mom died my .

throats causing up can drink .

the water when I like really gotten the mindset networks like I don't want attention for for I don't want to walk into a room and get like the loose clutch on my shoulder of people being like, how are you doing and how's you're dad and are you OK and here, mom loved you like, no shit, bitch. I know my mom loved to me. He hated you.

Like, you know what I mean, like you start getting in that mode works. Like now people, your whole identity is like you're walking around with a black vel. Some people love that.

We call them grief groupies. This is the problem. There are human beings who are finally getting attention, and they fuck in love IT.

So you go through something terrible, and then everyone feels bad for you. Then everyone shows up with the casuals and you feel like you got a little gold validation sticker. And in your fuck and forehead, that's where you get into a weird rhythm of being the victim.

That's not the vibe because that has an expiration date and then everybody goes back to work in three months and everyone fucked and forgot because is no longer relevant to you. Still very relevant to all the other people doesn't matter. So I think like you have to I just always said that I was gonna like, commemorate my mother's life with living the fuck out of mine IT doesn't mean that you don't have terrible dates, doesn't mean you don't feel sad.

You miss them. That's always going to exist. But what like why would you not want to want to experience? Like why wouldn't you wanted just have a good day when you can have a fucking good day? And a lot of that is about like emotional boundaries and people who don't who don't serve you like IT becomes like this whole after shock wave. You have to kind of just like dialed in and do the best you fucking in kah. It's really I don't even I feel like I haven't .

said anything. No, I think you said so much and it's helpful to hear .

because it's just a decision .

I think that's really I don't want to use our power for. But like you, the way you articulated, you said you did say so much because I think that there's a mentality yeah of like I mean, i've talked to my friend, learned about this, like her trying to decide like where where am I gonna with my life because I have my life and my dad has his life and like there's just a lot of shit you have to deal with internally of like separating your own self from and what happened if that makes any fucking sense?

Thousand percent.

But also still knowing like that your parent and you like, it's there .

so many layers to grief. And like every instance is different. All I can say is that you just have to like, make a good decision that you're not gna walk around with a visual candle. And if can platter and ship of flowers like alex Cooper.

it's all coming for full circle back to the six fours.

This is why I was trigger. You're literally, you know, two unerotic ve been to with the sad fucking in delhi plays I can't even go to a valley delhi anymore because you've been to so many fuck and funerals and the jews love delhi platters and then you're like, can you imagine you just put a family member in the ground and then you're making link of astros in which and then you look around and you see these earns and the fuck and shadie rovs flowers. It's terrible.

Jar's fully triggered. She's like, why did you break me here? I thought this was to be fun. No, I really do appreciate my last question about this, which I I think is very important, is there are people that on the on sofa spectrum have no idea how to handle if a friend is going through something and has lost something in their life OK OK. And can you just quickly explain things that have like you don't give examples, but you could have things that are said that you're like, don't say this, you fucking idiot please .

don't say everything happens for a reason or you will get slapped. Everything happens for a reason be, thank you. K T have fun with your mom like, shut the fuck up.

Don't do not anything that is on some spiritual, religious bumper sticker. Don't you fuck in there. Drop that shit.

Don't do IT when you see a butterfly. Don't say I could tell that was your mom. I fucked and hate butterflies.

You get a buckin flies.

water. You know, I swear to god, I saw a rain valley yesterday, and I knew I was here. Mom, I was like, do you want to get hit? Do you want to get here?

Do you want to get him this time?

Did you? Oh, SHE did this free. So when I bought my house, I, I, this is like a whole other conversation.

I found my house. I was unlisted. IT was off market, my real, or calls me he's like, y there's this house come for sale.

I only wanted to buy in this one. So I go to the house. They break in.

IT was break in. The guy was dead. Whatever broke into the back.

the guy is dead inside.

no think, went to hospital in texas, dead out, fine, vacant. So I like kino jimmied my way and and I was like, oh my god, I love this house so i'm talking to my grandparents and they said, oh, how's your housework ing and i'm like, oh, it's good. I think I found a house day.

We're going to put an offer and they are like, which chance is that? We used to live in that neighbor d and I give them the address and I was my mother's childhood home. So I now live in my mothers childhood home.

okay? Um I did not know I had never been there because when my grandparents, I lived in a different state, we never went there IT IT. right? I was in a life.

So that automatically made me hate the house because I like, oh my god, that's so where now it's can be like this whole like butterflies and rainbows and the busher bullshit and like i'm not dealing with that, oh my god so I then gotten to like a severe bidding war where I had to basically bankrupt the entirety of our bank accounts to get this fucking in house. Because I loved you so much, I was locked up in probe. Blob blot took me like a year to get this fucker house.

Very ruthless itty war. So I overpaid by, like an obscene amount of money that I can't even really say out loud, because I will be alienating and disgusting, whatever. So I get into this house I have my family over for, like the first holiday.

And every single mother fucker looks at me with that fucking in hand, with that loose little grip, the little shoulder grip in the upper of the lip keever, and says, here, mom got you this house here, mom brought this house to you and i'm looking at them. And i'm thinking to myself, i've had to spread my legs metaphorically behind a microphone and hacking every product under the sun on instagram like a shameless, ruthless prostitute for years, so that I could buy this house because I bought the house. I wanted to buy the house me, I thought the health blad my bank accounts dry.

And you have the nerve to tell me that this bitch, my dad mother, brought me the house. If that was the case, I would have fucked and inherit IT. I would have bought IT before the pandemic, when the housing market was a little more stable.

Okay, dare you? And I I took everything in me. I was clutching my Martini glass, like with a White nuckles IT.

I just wanted to bash IT over, everyone said, and I even said to my dad, and like, if one more mother fucker says to me that my dad, mom, but got me this house, somebody's gna die in this house. And then the property value, really climate. And well, I have to borrow your flowers for the shiver.

It's so. You are leaving today with them. I'm going.

I'm taking them. I hate them.

These are real, these are real.

And we couldn't go low and tight to go.

Couldn't go low and full. You cry, come here. So okay, he's trying his up. sorry. Okay, this my is my thought.

Shut the fuck up. IT, please. Just shot just like this.

Suck so bad.

I'm so fuck in. Sorry, this is terrible. Like, what do you? What can I do? Okay.

that's what I was going to say. Everyone deals with grief differently. So follow your friends lead. If it's also not your fucking friends in the ainta, shut the fuck please down.

I had IT was so funny like I had a friend that would like westernize like my grief, like I wasn't like I wasn't like like I wasn't like coming to her to create like I was going to other people and then SHE like, do you not like, feel comfortable with me, or do you not, like, feel close to me? And i'm like, you're literally the worse. Like.

you're making this about you.

How are we if you sucks so bad? And honestly, like, I should send her an a to me because I need to thank her because SHE the whole experience like so diffusive because I was like, oh wow, like you just took me out of my grief because now I just want to fuck and head .

but you so feel like, what what do you mean? How is this? How do we make about .

you what movie, what IT was like? I had a stroke as a poor quality. Do I need do I need to apologize to you because i'm not like.

sad enough for you. Yeah, I think that the rap of up of that is like if if it's not your shit, shit, just just literally .

you do not talk. It's not like that. It's just like just a person, real room do their thing.

Yes, thank you.

And that's totally okay. That is such an dream placed privilege to not understand. And I honestly think that's amazing and you should just like to run with that. It's fabulous. You lucky some of the beach but um yeah it's like it's an extreme it's an extreme tear of privilege should like not understand that .

that level and totally but if if acknowledge you don't know IT and so don't act like you have any fucking comprehension of what happened I .

love and like a friend who was like I know like I lost my um my pet Kitty when I was three and was like cool even .

like sorry to say this .

I need to move this yeah please even even and i'm not trying .

to be nice but even like grandparents.

it's the circle of life q symp.

let me guess they were eighty ninety down. I was go .

to sleep as taliban s man once or back. Ney Frankl was go to sleep like they had a good run.

right? And that's like natural. Like, what were you expected? They were going like a revive and just start like, that was how supposed to go? Oh, my.

my grampa was like, literally, I was prepared for him to have, like, twelve years. My parents were like, lesson ground is like not super healthy, like totally over way, like had a terrible lifestyle. They told me this when I was seven, that fuck or hung around til I was like twenty five.

I became like a bit in my family. I was like, you're still here. I've been prepared for years. I grew up my fucked and funeral dress. No.

you're so right.

It's one black outfit. I don't even fit. Grandpa g, is Chris turn .

so I can put you .

in .

the earn or and alex can put you in here. Me.

he did so much bigger, he does, and he was a very obese man. IT would take up the whole room, shout out.

jackey, grandpa, love you with you. Is he still here now? He's dead.

Wow, alex. Okay, gone OK.

We're we're moving up the grief topic. I think my last thing is that this is actually just out of curiosity, what happened to your zimmerman dress?

This is still on the topic of grif by. I've experience so much last. You like.

fuck my grandpa. Let's fuck about the .

zimmer zimmer dress. Honestly, you hints tes twenty, twenty. I like, i'm too cool for a zimmerman midi dress.

Like, i've evolved. Jesus, this is funny. Okay, okay, give me.

Well, I was attending a baby shower OK and I was trying to find something like, I found the stress. He was a zimmerman dress. IT had like a molded cup bell.

Connect with a cut out pockets. SHE loves pockets. I love pocket.

Well, okay. And I was in my size. I didn't have to wear bra.

I looked cute. I like, I had just had a parasite, so I was very good. You were like winning. Like, clearly my lovick was purchased ting, and I had like an upper rib cage because I was shading out my calling for a week.

no. And this is like people can be passed when we were at tower bar. You're like I was just feeling like a little like just like blow to whatever yeah and jacket is the waiter. She's like, could I get um some like expired salmon and like you have a rose .

salmon fully. i'm. The guy, the guy did not at that at all.

Like party. I like, I have her mind. I just have the brains enough.

Okay, so you're got, you're ready with .

your dress is ready to rumble down this dress. I had IT hooked in the back of my car and have a convertible, and I was doing a bathroom renovation, very hands on with my renovation. I love the home.

Deep pot makes me feel alive in secure girls. Go to home. debo. Where are something tight and sexy? You will get a cost.

You know, it's crazy. These are to cut you up. But I remember back, back, back in the day where I put some controversial shit. I was self aware enough to know that if I went to the university of arizona, I was gonna be like a five on the scale bus in university.

The same thing at a home deeper. Give me a twelve. If you go to a valley home deepo, you've got Better odds if you go to like anything off the four or five IT IT kind of depends. It's it's all .

about you could run into jazz le so you're gonna be .

the toe can no a part come deep you'll never feel anything like .

that so you're say if you go there and you feel the hottest st, most beautiful version .

itself IT is the Victoria secret fashion show rebel at the home. D B before ten when all the contractors are they are like there's no like women like but you know you're you're IT that's IT. So I was there about seven thirty five in the morning know rising grind. Okay.

she's got to literally .

grinding with contractors and I L four. And I was in a bike, short looking, so cute song, my own fucker, and trim. I needed like one piece of trim for a door.

I was trying to rap up, you know. And the trim was very long. So I had, I figured the only way to fit IT in my car was to put my top down and shimmered in the front. We could hang up the back, okay, super safe. And you're convertible.

And my convertible.

this is like final destination ship, okay? So in in the transportation of my a trim piece, I had the dress hooked on the back. Okay, okay. And i'm driving on the freeway and i'm holding my holding the trim because I didn't really feel like having IT god for bid.

I mean, honestly, in hindsight, I wish that that trim would have fucked high tailed IT out of the car and like punched the car behind me and I could have kept the dress because I didn't have something where to the shower, couldn't find anything what I i'm holding the trim i'm driving like cursing the day that my husband born because he's like off at a trip somewhere and i'm just slapped lumber, literally slapp lumber. And I look behind me and I all the sudden, like i'm driving and I just see like a pink, like like a pink parachute rising into the sky of the one to a one freeway at seven thirty four in the morning and I like, huh? I look behind IT was like slow mo.

I see my fucking dress, catch wind and fly the fuck out of my car. Okay, so now i'm like, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. Like, how do, what do I? What do I even do? So I call highway patrol.

I get off the freeway. I didn't even know who to call. I literally was like, I have address IT was eight hundred and fifty dollars, by the way.

K OK tags attached gone. Glad you know IT wasn't my journey aesthetically, but I was an expensive dress I never got to fucking and wearing. And I was sold out in size I needed because everyone kept sending me the certain size I needed. A two, two for the tips, for the tips sold out. So I pull over on the side of the road, and alec pilfering through bushes .

like you get out of your car.

I kind of, I did a little perou O, I did a little peruse. But then I thought, you know what, the highway patrol, they're gna return IT like they are going to get to dry clean for me. I had A A sage.

And what world are you? I don't know. I listen, I live in suburbia.

I figured, listen, I call these guys. And like, I have addressed that, flew out of my car. Yeah, I think abusing no little you're of someone was .

stab ed and usually like there's side of the rose was stabs there's an ideal that's dead there's a carker in my zimmerman dress was nine hundred dollars. Did you guys do .

p could you recently one of those zig zags, you know where you ut the freeway to down during rush hour? And like IT has cut out in pockets. It's like, so cute, so good. It's so hard for me to find a dress where I don't have to wear.

They're like mam, you're like, like, just like, I don't know.

like you poll over on the right like I don't know. Like I just feel like this is like a safety break already been like sexually rahim deeper, not trying to like, get picked up.

And what are they saying?

I mean, they were laughing .

of good as we all are now, jack.

we were laughing like we were having a good time. Like he is very live like there is a dry cleaner's. I was like making all the, you know I mean so I thought hundred percent they're to you're gona pick IT up, drop IT off.

So then I like, you know, how to deliver. My trim piece is i've got guys on the clock OK. I'm not fucking around.

And this is also reliable, unlikable daddy games. And to love this, then I had a massage, and I, so my phone was in my locker, whatever. And I had posted all of these stories in one of the stories that I had post on instagram. You can see the dress off the freeway. You can see its exact location, like under a fence, under a pickup truck that was parked on .

the side of the road. Gets like behind you.

you're filming.

you can see the .

paints so I missed IT yeah so all the sun i'm getting like so many people circling like I see where your dresses. I see where your dresses. I knew exactly where I was.

I get back in my car. I drive back. It's not there.

The next day, the dress in my size, tags attached, sold that everywhere is available for sale for pick up in the last Angeles location of the real, real, full Price. Full Price? I don't know.

So some shady fuck honestly love them. If you did this, I will like to show yourself, I respect you, I like you. I will go to tower bar with you, and we will get rose and together, some shady s bitch rolled up because I was giving, like, like, very specific geographer.

I remember you posting .

to get off a canoga.

make a right, get to be somewhere near there. everything. These are people that love me and support me. They will bring the dress to me. They will get a dry.

clean and bring IT to me. I thought someone like, I imagine, like a bunch of girls, twenty five to thirty five in bitch by bull merch. I like that highway patrol, like neon vests with flash lights, like searching for the stress that in my head, where I like just hawk in marcha with their shit, is like patrolling the valley for my dress, a searching and rescue mission. You didn't think, no, I never thought .

naive that a little cut, yeah gonna a say.

And you know who do something like that? me. Let me tell you something.

When I was eighteen years old, if I found out some beach, I had, you know, a zimmerman dress, go airborn off the side of the one to one freeway. And IT was tags attached for eight fifty. And I was eaten big bites for three weeks.

You think I wouldn't be tits deep on the side of the freeway searching for that fuck and dress. You are dead wrong. So I can relate and I respect.

I have no words. I I guess we have to. We ended by respectfully respecting the count that went out of her way. This ones for her, this ones for her. Whoever you are, I actually would fucking love.

love if you shout to us.

show yourself. We would actually really respect.

I will if you. Well, no, no, no. If this person exposed themselves with you need to receipt from the real, real, I need like all like, I need a form and elephant to show case at at you.

I will take you to the zimmerman and I will buy you a full outfit. IT was me. Alex, we're going to seven jacky, I know i'm slight. Bring the mood dwt no.

I love how when i'm like grief and then you like, no, i'm going to bring you down even more yeah.

grandpa, like your visual cano.

I love you. Thank you much coming. I'm sweaty me at my pants that this was a great up. Henry Williams pulled the dogs up for one.

Okay, can I defend the flowers now?

Yes.

I need to defend the flowers now. You do. I would do them every week.

They're one of my greatest pride. Takes A, B. Let me just tell you. This week I went to both briest.

Le foreign air race went twice, bottle pair, so I think they looks good back for more. Those big ones are the only once that I could find. And it's been a journey .

to let me also defend you. It's not in ours is the base is not your fool?

No, it's not the flowers. It's a turns SHE SHE is.

I was like your Christmas gift, I like, but I was just like, I really like Green.

I found something like a color and and she's great .

at this.

That we don't think that we are willing to get.