Is He the One?
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Sunday morning that this cow and do to do to do to do every sunday this day. That was pretty right, guys. I'm going to be honest.

I'm starting this episode almost horizontal, but IT just feels right. I'm a little tired from tour. I'm just like a touring girl.

You know what I mean? I might as well be tailor swift and just fuck killing. But no, she's exhausted and I figured, you know what, I want to do a little question yours.

I wanted to questions of the week because I feel like sleep, like I just seem to hang out with you guys, touch a little grass and touch a little shit. The tour has been amazing. I feel like.

Guys like a fucking and pop star gonna e it's just been I have these dancers that actually a couple of the dancers are magic mike dancers and they literally do like shows and fucking vegas and i'm just feeling like i'm living my training tam step up moment and i'm fucked in loving IT. The next couple shows that I am going to be doing are in phoenix, oakland, sand ago n la. And I am so fucking excited.

But habitat needs to relax and this is what my relaxation looks like. So let's I can talk about what's going on in your life, talk about you're trauma. Let's talk about what the fuck is happening. And let's go to the bottom of the goddam daddy ging disasters this week.

Let's I can talk about what's going on in your life. Let's talk about your trauma, let's talk about what the fuck is happening. And let's get to the bottom of the god damn daddy ging disasters this week.

No one ever written in me being like feeling good love and Better or like, okay, well, and that for you guys, story time get cozy bitches so I can happy. It's like basically almost all IT is kind of at this point yeah yes, it's well, okay, okay, here we go. Story time.

I have a solid group of three girls from our college days. One of my friends dated this guy from our junior year to two years after college ended. They broke up fifteen years ago.

He wasn't great to her. The toxic was very apparent back then. I'm recently single, and her x slid into my dms and asked me out.

I didn't say yes, but we ended up talking over instagram and then the attacks slash phone. I met up with him just the other day for some food and a walk, no physical anything. He's very fluent tious and has made his interest in me clear.

I feel really good during our time together, but when I discussed the experience with our mutual friend, they express a lot of confusion, anxiety and frustration with me. They felt I was harming our mutual friend. I've asked a lot of pointed questions to this man about his interest in me and his past.

He took accountability for his actions, admitting he used to be controlling and insecure. He's in therapy now and has been for the last four years. I still feel like after three encounters of text call meet ups, I should be honest with my friend that her acts reached out.

SHE was shocked, but super mature about IT. She's married with two kids now. SHE also shared that this x was pursuing her for ten years after the break up.

Holy ship, wow, that is like literally the biggest compliment in the world. I wish my book and access were still trying to hit IT after I was married. They are like, I know you're like good noo wrapped up, but i'm kinds still interested.

Can we bug? Like obviously be a no, but like little ego bath not going anyways, back to your story. Um SHE, okay.

So SHE had shared for ten years after he got to the point where he had to block m this is getting Better while he was posed part in with her first newborn jesus. Chris, he's obsessed to not you, but start your friend. Oh, wait, OK.

Because he was so persuasive and not respecting her boundaries, his mom even reached out to her at one point, asking if her son would ever have a chance with her. Are, again, because he was the only person he would ever see himself happy with. This had me shook.

This has major red flags. And also I recognized that he's been in therapy for the past few years and has taken some action ability for his historical behavior. historical? Do you mean historical? Know, what are your thoughts? How do I approach this with him? Yeah, I think it's time to find a new dick. You know, like we say here on cordaro so many penises, the penile are running rapid of anything in this country like there's so much bucking penis, there's so little time. And I feel like someone like you, you don't have to wonder if you're second best.

I'm visioning that this man, loki, has a corkboard and it's just pictures of this acts and worrying for you like maybe maybe check out at home actually don't I was gonna because I feel like he may have a shrine of shrug, all of us, your friend's name, but shrug, there's a shine of shrug. And now I can't help but I see i'm a little paranoid. I've shared with you guys and kind of the girl that like goes to the hotel room and i'm like literally ordering an extra mattress to the room so I can board up the fucking walls and i'm going to do anything and everything to like protect myself.

And I feel like if I was in your position, I would feel like that he was literally using you to get to his former lover and your friend and you're kind of just most like a pon. And I don't like feeling like at any daddy gang is upon. I do not like that for you.

I do not feel like this is a good thing. And I don't give a fuck that this man has been in therapy for four years. If I know anything about men, if four years is four fucked in minutes for men with this kind of drama, okay?

If he is getting his mother in the past to call his x girlfriend after ten years of being broken up and trying to get back with her, this is not someone that is in a good mental headspace to reengage in activity with someone that is associating with that friends like there is no fucking double in my mind. If he was still pining after her for ten fucking years, even when the mother fucking woman had a baby and is married happily and is like pleasing me, i'm blocking your ask. I just got chills.

I was going to say, I don't think it's a coincidence that he reached out to you. I think this is an angle. I think this is bert angle to get back with, surely. And he's using you hoping that I will make her fucking in jealous and if anything, i'm impressed that your friend was kind of just like, hey, like I don't have a problem with IT um but if you want advice, like a friend of friend, if you were just going to pretend like he wasn't like basically serial stocking me for a while.

Probably not survive once someone's been this aggressive and this crazy and stocking and and someone is having to block someone and it's getting weird and then he has his family reaching out and the girls like easily along like I don't see a world for you where, number one, let's pretend this man even changed. I just worry for you. Like this is actually probably at me problem.

My ego would not allow me to be with someone that was that insane to a friend of mine, because I would constantly feel embarrass and I would constantly feel like, fuck like, this just isn't right. Like, I feel you deserve your own happy ending and you deserve your own person. And I feel like because of how obsessed I think currently still is with your friend, I feel like this is a no go for you. I feel like you need to move on and i'm really sorry that you kind of got like caught up in the cross hairs.

But um my advice to you um from a loving father's perspective is run literally run and get away from him because especially once you're that vac logic you don't have time for this you don't have time to wonder like easy insane did the four years of therapy like help or is he literally using me to get back with my friend because he wants to break up the marriage and so in love with her and he's religious using news so that he can like I don't need IT, I don't need IT I don't need to question Marks. You will know if someone is right for you in the fact that you're writing in this this um amount of detail about his obsession with another woman. I want my man to be so fucking up obsessed with me.

It's it's sickening okay and if he is any doubt in his mind and he thinking about any other of vagina and woman but me, it's going to be no so um I think this is I think this is a hard pass but i'm really sorry sorry. I don't mean to be joking. I just think it's like a little crazy that he was stocking her for ten years um to each their own but I don't think you should did someone that stocked to one of your friends.

I've been noticing that at social events with my boyfriend, he often looks uncomfortable and often won't talk very much. I know he's a shy person, but he just makes me feel like he's not trying. Sometimes I still really appreciate that he's showing up, and I know IT takes him a while to warm up to people, but I just wish that my friends and family got to see the goofy guy he is.

When is just the two of us, or when he's with people he knows really well? I know this sounds like i'm being hard on him, but I just feel like I made a big effort and i'm really close with his family and friends and I feel like he's not there yet with mine. So sometimes he bothers me when he's quiet because i'm like, how are you going to get more comfortable around them if you don't push yourself? Should I bring something up or give him more time? Thin sady, oh, that's fucking hard.

Let me put on my doctor fucked and Cooper hat all on what would my mom say? Um there's a couple dynamics apply here. And number one, I feel like the dynamic of merging into someone's life when you start dating them can be difficult and IT can be extremely difficult if your friends and family don't may be vide with him as much as he would want to vide with them.

I think sometimes we are a little, just a little biased about our own lives. Like, oh my god, my uncle is how? And then you bring like a new way for them and you're like they're like your own comedies are fucking creepy, dick.

You like, fuck, you're right. He's kind of weird. So my first point to you would be like check that your family and friends are being loving to your partner. I'm not saying they're not. I'm just saying sometimes I fucking see IT with my friends and I like wo like yeah your dad is like being a fucked and creep like I I think it's just like an obvious like first check like why is he not feeling too comfortable?

The second point I would make is when you do introduce a partner to your family and friends, I have seen, and I ve been with partners that i've done this before, that it's like post when you entered the event and your flying high your leg, i'm like a bird and you're just walk around having the time of your life. There are people that need some hand holding in new social introductions, and I completely understand that. So if you're feeling like he's not opening up, maybe you need to like just like maybe make sure he feels a little bit more comfortable at these events.

Like are you completely disappear and you got josh in the corner, just fuck and sip in the same gra, hoping that your ana engages in conversation with them? Like I don't think he's feeling maybe there's a chance he's not feeling like he has the ability to bring out that goodness because no one's really looking for and he doesn't really feel like he's going to like get his freak on and and he is not willful to cozy. The good thing that you're telling me is he has this decide to himself so it's one thing you feel like i'm just put in bored.

I've got a boring us boyfriend that fuck in is in the corner just like eating is burgers and doing nothing yeah then i'd be like that just not your vibe. You're not into those like shy mystery bugger boys. You're into more of that like loud energy totally.

But he literally has that goofy fn side to him and he's not bring IT out. So that's a good sign. My only other problem, if now i'm now on your side more than his side so fuck the hand holding in all that um I do think you could have a conversation with him.

I think IT can be such a loving conversation because who knows maybe he like is feeling something and he's just hasn't set IT to use like open the fucking conversation up. This is little, but I tell you guys, every fucking time, when ever having a problem with anyone my entire life, just open the conversation up, you know. And I think what you could say is baby ee was dying laughing the other night with you.

I was like my fucking stomach ache r like just from like a again, complimentary swich. The only way together done boom. Compliment this mother fucker about how you love his goofy is goofy goody, goofy, goofy greg, I love you you little stinker that was so funny.

And you know, what I realized is I feel like whenever we're with my family IT makes me sad because why i'm so in love with you is how fucking funny you are. And I wanted to just like talk to you about whenever we do go around my family and my friends, like, I want you to feel like you can be a hundred percent yourself and I totally get IT can be intimidating to like, integrate whatever. You're always so lovely, but like, I want you to like, let loose and like, have fun and and I want to just like checking with you.

Like, how do you feel about, like my family and friends because I know they really like you. And if he gets defensive, I think maybe it's just like he takes a long time to get out of his shell and you can like, rest assured, like slowly, hopefully this will change, but maybe he will say, like, uh, yeah, because your mom came up to me and said, x and that i've always elt weirder oh yeah. Your friend always hits on the, you never know, but open up ten doors box I always want to know the inside.

It's always fun. No, what what you're going na get some type of answer and then at least you have more of the ability to understand why goofy greg and so goofy around nana and good trude, I want to see him get freaky. I know you do, so let's open the conversation up for him to really um let his free flag fly.

But some people just take a up a long time to open up, you know and some people don't. And can I say one thing though, I think this is Better. I think this Better than having a partner that's like, what is the fuck and he's like, think you're dad in the ARM and he's like, yeah like for me that bod cut and you're little like you're too comfortable john y really back back IT up like a mac truck.

You fucking creep, my grandma doesn't know you like that to make a fucking common about her thighs who's grima wear sigh hides anyways, you get my point. I think it's Better to have a lab that's going like rather than is just like, boom, i'm back in here. It's a little off putting when someone feels a little too fucked in comfortable in a room that's like not really their room to own.

So be grateful that what's your boyfriend saying? What did I say? It's not john y greg. Be grateful that greg kind of has this demo will like, you know his goody side and isn't a kind of cute that like, boom, you get a side, no one does I don't know.

I play a fuck and family game that really like incorporates that humor and see if greg comes to life maybe greg likes to just give his girl that one and only in the scheme of um this question verse the last question, you're in a good position. Um he loves you. He's there, he's showing up and that's all you can buck and ask for and it'll work at all.

Well, sorry, i'm in a weird mood. I don't know what happened. Sleep deprived. Okay, let's go to the next second question.

Okay, bat up. Let's see. I kind of like is that fucked up to rank questions of like so far? The first question is you you are in the dog house the most second question, greg, in your find analytic, what's going on? okay.

So i'm twenty five and i've done with my boyfriend for about four years now. And he drunken eny admitted a few weeks ago that he was saving up to propose. However, I was shocked because our relationship has been going through a rough patch.

I thought we were close to breaking up. We haven't been intimate for months. We literally became roommates to the point that I moved out because we wanted to give each other space and spice things up a bit.

But I only got worse. We worn on the same page about anything, and during arguments, IT got pretty nasty. The time away from him actually made me realized that I do not want to be in a relationship with anyone, even though we both really love each other.

And clearly I know i'm his world. And us breaking up would break the hearts of the people around us the most well, not your first problem. Um it'd break the the heart of the people around you the most, not you.

I should. I continue you no, i'll keep going, but that is the answer, but i'll keep going. Um we both don't want to admit IT, but we see each other as friends.

Feels like we're forcing something that's not there anywhere. I want to be alone for a while and books on myself. Am I being too selfish? no.

Should I just suck IT up and try to work things out? Bitch White, you're fucking with me. Sometimes I always wonder, is daddy can just like at work typing up a little? So suez, nothing to just get me round up.

Yeah, this is gonna be a no for me. Dog, I refuse to let you just suck IT up. I feel like an engagement you shouldn't have to suck up IT really shouldn't go down that way.

And I am sorry that you're feeling this way. Let me just say this. I gonna be really for minute IT fucking sucks when you're thinking about ending a relationship. Because you're right, there is more to a relationship than just the people that are the two people in the relationship.

When you have been in a relationship for a long time with someone, you inevitably will become close with their family, with their friends and IT is a whole fucking shit storm to untangle when you get out of the relationship. But let me just say this to every single person listening, because I think it's very important. All of the family members, all of the front, this is not their relationship.

And as hard broken as we'll be for about maybe a week, if that's actually pushing IT, maybe a couple days are pushing IT maybe like a fucking the minute that they hear IT this was gonna en they hear you guys broke up. No, we love your relationship. Oh my god, like ddd trump o almost just got assassinating, got shot in the ear, uh, they forgot about you.

They literally forgot about you guys breaking up. They're moving on their at their spin chip there watching the news are like, wow, that was, oh my god, this they literally don't care. No one actually fucking care about your relationship because they're not living in IT.

They can have an opinion. They can have a strong opinion. They can even love you as a person.

They can be like, god. That would have been a fucking amazing sister in law. sure. But guess what? His dada's not fucking you. I hope, I hope, well, I hope, I hope for your sake, you're not fucking his father. I hope that you're not fucking his dad.

And his dad is, you know, i'm saying it's like I think we get a little two people pleasing when we come to the brink of wanting to break up with someone and we think about everyone else's feelings about our own. No one gives a fuck if you break up with the person, they are going to be upset for a moment. But guess what? They have their own marriages. They have their own fucking lives. And if they knew that you are not happy, they'd like fucking live way what we likes you guys because we thought without your req couple, if you guys ther are unhappy, we don't want you to to be unhappy.

The other you know I mean so it's like every single daddy getting member, this is your PSA if you are saying in a relationship because you are closer with his family or you are close with his family and you are or he, your family is close with their family and your heart broken, hard broken to break the news to those people, i'm going to give you a little tip this they're gonna be fine. They sadly don't care as much as you think they care. And I know that is really hard to hear, but i've had too many friends go through this.

It's like it's gonna OK there they're onna, move on. You need to fuck and be selfish if you are feeling like you are in a friendship with your partner, that is what you need to focus on. IT is two people in a fucking relationship.

Okay, stop fucking thinking about your mother in law. Stop thinking about your fucking, but I love his sister SHE sa okay, well, guess what, you'll find new fucking and friends and maybe one day U. S.

Can become friends again. But you can't stay in something to a peace, a bunch of other fucked in people because guess what, they're not doing that in their life. They're going to be happy. They are going to be picking people they love, and then everyone is fucking in love and happy.

And then what you've to go to bed with this person at night, you have to fucking potentially start of fAiling with this person is IT is the two of you? So cut the shit on, will we have such fun thanksgiving sale? I don't give a fuck the stuffings in every fuck of her soul.

Every year you're going to find a new stuffing. May you need to figure out if you're actually happy with this person and fuck the family okay because guess what, you know it's true. Fuck in love when you're partner.

You can hate your family or you but can hate their family but you're in IT anyways because you're like, I love the fucking person so much and his moment such a fucking cn but I know I love him because i'm willing to deal with his mother buckin count of a mother that's when you know with real love don't let yourself get lines, ted, by a good family set up it's okay and let me also empathy for five seconds. I do understand if you are maybe coming from a position where you don't have as good of a relationship with your family and so you found a family within your boyfriend and your girlfriend's family. I to be real for minute like I so fucking get how having a relationship with a family and having this family feel can be so in toxic and can be so beautiful.

I promise you, dad, again, that is not a reason to stand a relationship. IT is an absolute positive. IT is a check in that person's box that they have a great fucking family, but you will find that somewhere else.

You will find your family in your partner. And it's amazing if they have the additives. But the additives are not the people that are there for you in the long run.

IT, is you in your partner at the end of the day and that fucking bad together when you're going through the hard self, when you're going through health sheet, when you're going through financial sheet, when you're going through your kids got a fucking and problem. It's the two of you. My advice on the situation is you have your answer.

You know that the family will be more upset. You moved out for a reason, you know you love this person more than anything. And i'm not saying it's fuck and easy to under relationship with someone that you love so deeply and have these ties too, but you have to be fucking selfish and you have to understand that even though he's said that he was going to propose.

My opinion and my advice to you is this is the moment that you ended. This is a perfect opportunity. And not unlike a sick me being in a goofy mood right now, I actually am gna take the joke out.

And this is what I would do. You sit this person down and you say. I know that we were drinking the other night, and obviously, I think we need to talk about what was said because you brought up to me how you were planning on proposing.

And I want you to know that, like, I have so much love for you, and I love you so much, and we ve been together for so long, and this relationship has changed me in ways that I will truly, like, always, always, always be so grateful to for. But we both know we have not been good. We have not been good for a long time, and we have worked so fucking hard to get back to a good place.

I moved out. We have not been able to physically connect as much as we used to. We have been fighting. We have been trying.

And IT IT is so hard because we've been trying for so fucking long that I think in moments, it's about us closer because when you do rebound from a fight, you can feel like you're winning and you're making progress. But really, you're kind of just getting back like the equal broom and you're getting back to like Normal c. And I think you can say we have tried so long.

And I think when I heard you talk about the proposal long going, to be honest, that made me realize. That I know that's not what we we want and I know that's what we wanted at one point. And so it's heartbreaking to admit IT, but I think we both know like this isn't right.

And I think that it's a natural moment to look at ourselves if we're not onna do that, that the biggest next step in our life, which would be the natural next step. I think we both know that as hard as it's gonna be to untangle our lives and our families and all of that. And I love you so much.

I truly know that fucking backwards because I love you, but there is more to just loving someone. And I feel like we've become friends. And I think we both know that in the long run, we're not meant to get married.

And so I love you. And I think that this is kind of like we have our answer. Oh god, this skinning so sad. I feel like i'm doing the breaking up for you. Um but do you know what I mean? Like this is what I will give you guys advice on in as I kind of my like closing statement that I have realized as i've like had more life experiences is when something happens in a friendship or a relationship or a family dynamic and someone makes like a bold statement at some point that you're like thrown off by whether it's someone like this proposing to you or your family member makes an inappropriate comment at the dinner table and you can't stop thinking about IT or a friend makes a weird remark.

A lot of times that thing is going to catapult you to think about like what what is upsetting you, right? And I think what you need to do is not let those like weird moments by pass and you don't have to confront in the moment. But my advice to always is like always have a follow up conversation and use what they did or they said, not against them, but as the starting point, for the awkward conversation, to open up larger conversation.

Because I am so aware, like I used to be so bad at confrontation, and i'm still not where I want to be, but i've definitely gotten Better and something my therapy has helped me with this, like how to engage in that conversation with this one family member would be, you mention this last, so why don't you go to them and say, hey, I was thinking about when you references in our conversation. And I want to have to follow up on that because i've now had time to think about IT and I X, Y, Z. So do you see what i'm saying? It's like he did this big moment where he was going to put, like he said, he admitted he was going to propose use that now as your way into the awkward conversation.

Hey, I was thinking about what you said the other night and we really need to have a conversation like, I think we both know that you don't I mean, like imagine your friend drunkenly is crying and saying, like you're never there for me like you're the worst friend like you, bob but like that some of crazy shit, it's really hard to like know how to react in a moment. So might also my other advice, like when people are saying really pointed shit, they've been thinking about IT and they are saying and to let them say IT and you don't need to respond, but use that as the way into your follow and saying, hey, I thought about the other night, I know you were drunken, you brought up our friendship, but I got me thinking a lot about, like, is that how you feel about me? But then I was also thinking, like, how do I feel about our friendship, right? And I feel like lately.

And then you go into IT. So that's just like a little like piece of advice for any of my like people, pleasing or like non confrontational daddy gay. Like there are ways to help yourself start a conversation by just using something that they have brought up, not against them and not to like, hold over their head. It's actually just a weight to be like i've been thinking about this because I get IT so awkward you're sitting at coffee you're like, so let's talk about our friendship and you're like, fuck bit or you're like, I don't want to marry you and you like, uh, like you you just use that as the is this is a casual conversation you've been talking about IT. Now I want to keep talking about IT.

I think there's a lot of people probably listening to this right now that are in that prediction of is he the one? Is he the person? And I think that when you get to a certain place in your life, in your twenty years, in your thirties, I feel like every fucking other person listening to this podcast is, at that point, their life, you could be even fucked and married.

And dealing with this right now, is he the one? Did I make the right thing? And I engage, did you know, I mean, you have to take care of yourself, and if you find yourself worrying about, what will he be OK if I leave? Or will the family be this? Or will disrupture our friend group? Or am I gonna lonely if you're thinking of all the other ancelles like details around the relationship, other than, is this the love of my life? And am I happy you kind of have your answer, because everything else can get fixed and solved if you stay.

Like I said, who gives a fuck? Ban laws are crazy. If you leave, it's OK like that's not your family or that wasn't meant to be. You don't stand in something because it's going to make other people fuck and happy.

Are you happy? Are you fulfill? Do you feel like this is IT for you? Is this right decision for you? And if the answer is a maybe IT is a no, i'm sorry to crack the mother fucking and hammer but we don't have time daddy gay because it's not time as in oh, we're women and we're getting over you know you don't have time because when you have that gut feeling, there is something already out they're waiting for you that is Better.

And i'm not saying i'm not putting the person that you're sitting across from in your relationship down. I'm actually saying that compatibility, it's time to fuck and keep IT moving. You're gonna find someone that makes you fucking really happy and fulfilled.

And i'm telling you this because I have been there, and I was talking about this with my friend the other day. I was in love. Of course, I was in love with someone before I met that. I have been in love before that, but there is so much more that goes into a relationship than just love, right? And so you have the ability to start over.

And I know that sounds hard and I can do an entire episode on, but the first answer is within you, which is, you know, it's not the right decision and there is no easy way to end something, but the faster that you and something, the sooner that you can begin the next face of your life and so yeah, I love you and i'm really sorry and I know it's never easy, but I know you are strong and you are going to get through this and lean on your family, lean on your friends and make the right decision for you because it's also then the right decision for them. Who the fuck would want to to be in a relationship with someone that doesn't want to be in a relationship with them? IT doesn't want to get, you know, I mean, like you got this.

Okay, daddy again, I love you all so much. I am, i'm gonna go crack open a little alcohol. Maybe did my toe in the jazz soaked off my space so I can get another and honestly, have a great fucking night.

I hope you all are having a fabulous sunday. Sunday is the lords day. It's also father's day so thank you so much for tuning in um I cannot wait to see the rest of you on tour.

You guys, the guests are just going to keep getting fucking crazy. I have been having the time of my life and i'm knocking to lie. I fuck and love IT up there, you guys screaming us drinking together as party.

I saw a couple hits the other night. I was fucking tharoor. I was peking. I'm inna happy that my parents in the crowd for the other night because I was like, I saw a lot of nipples and I don't need that awkwardness with my family.

I love you guys keep showing me your kids have fun and I will see you guys for the daddy game that can make into, I will see you fuckers on wednesday and for the daddy that I will see in santiago, open los Angeles spens bitches, get fucking ready. It's only going to get get weirder. Love you. bye.