Hunter Schafer: Polyamory, Cheating & Fame
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Hunter Schaefer, welcome to Call Her Daddy. Thank you so much. I am so happy you're here. Thank you. I'm so happy to be here. I just told you. Not the video.

Not the vape coming out. Not the vape coming out as you're like, thank you so much. This is how comfortable I'm feeling right now. So, but this means the world to me. I just have to start off and say, because my sister, who you graciously let in this room, put me onto your podcast during the pandemic and we were gagging and I'm just...

I'm so excited to be here today. I love you. Okay, little do you know, I really love you because I have to tell you a story. Okay. So I think it was a year ago. We were this close to each other and you had no idea probably. We were in Milan and I was sitting- Were you at the Prada show? Yes. I do remember seeing you there. Okay. Were you there?

Okay, okay. Hunter's sister is in the room and she's saying she saw me freaked out. Okay, this is why life is so fucking stupid because I was standing with my videographer and I was like, oh my God, it's Hunter. And he was like, go say hi to her. And I was like, no, no. Like, that's weird. That's weird. He was like, no, go say hi. I'm like, no, no, no. Like, I believe one day we are going to meet in a non, like,

weird or like moment where I'm like fangirling. That's totally how I feel about people too. Like that I gag over is like, if I know that we're going to, cause you have that feeling about people sometime where you're like, I know I'm going to kick you with this purse. I'm like, I don't want to fuck it up, but I'm so happy you're here.

Okay, tell me about your outfit. How did you pick this outfit? We're loving it. Okay, thank you. Um, you know, I this is like, well, we and we were just talking about this kind of is like, I always feel like like the image that I put out into the world, like on Instagram, whatever, is like very much like the drag version of who I am. And it's like an image that I put together to like,

Give to the world. And, and like, that is not how I dress and act in real life. And so, but like this, I feel like your podcast is very about like cozy. Let's do like give realness. And this is my, I, I picked it up off the floor and put a little stupid outfit together. And that's what it, that's what this is. It's really cute. And I'm happy that you're comfortable. And that is the key here. Like coziness. Yes. And RuPaul also, bitch. Okay. Can I just say that interview? Like,

face cracked me like that interview impacted me so much and also I lived for her outfit for her give with the with the oh my god it was so incredible because I remember like

you're kind of talking like similar with like Rue like presents a specific way and has these like cunt outfits that you're like, this is what I'm talking about. Yes. And I remember when Rue showed up, I was like, oh my gosh. And I remember the rep was like, no, Rue really wanted to show up today just as like Rue. Yeah. And this is what like Rue would be wearing around Rue's house. And I was like, okay. Yeah. And so I love that you came just like cozy today. Thank you. You just bought a new house like this year. Yes. I heard you did too. Yes. Okay. How is it going? Girl.

Girl. Oh, my God. Girl. Okay. So I've been looking for a house for a few years. To be 100% honest, I didn't grow up with... It's a very surreal thing to be making significantly more money than anywhere where I came from. Like my parents, anything that I grew up with. We're just pretty regular middle class. And now I'm like...

I have a lot of fucking dough and I have no idea how to, how to use it. And so I, and it scares me. And, and so like at some point I had to be like, okay, I need to do something with my money. And, uh, and so, um,

Yeah, I've been looking for a house. I finally found this beautiful house. And yeah, I moved in when? September of last year. Okay. And I've started on the whole like, now I'm going to hire people to make... I tried doing the whole, I'm going to buy furniture by myself...

I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing. It's so fucking hard. Are you doing that? Oh my God. I literally left it to my husband. Cause like back in the day. Your husband is, you let your husband do it? No, no. I know this sounds insane Hunter, but like Matt has incredible taste. He has like perfect taste. And I'm like, now I just let him do his thing because I'm going to be honest. I decorated my first New York city apartment where I first lived alone for the first time ever. And I was like, watch me, bitch. Like this is going to be so gorgeous. I got the couch.

and the couch sat there for so long and I'm like how do you make a space look good this and I see Pinterest and I see like even urban outfitters like the it looks so cute and then I buy it and it looks like fucking shit yes so then I hire someone and now I hired my husband to do it so amazing good if you want he'll come over I wish I wish I had a husband that had amazing tastes

that is not my fucking case diva i i like yeah so i i had i went through the adaxium spiral of like okay wait i like you know i look at couches and then i'm like wait but but like and this is so i hate it's so like it's okay go off world whatever uh you know like i look at this amazing couch but then like if i spend a bunch of money on this couch and then i but then the carpet right changes everything like

huh girl I'm I'm like I I tried I really tried and then I was like no so I um I hired um a designer I yeah so so have you seen Troye Sivan's um AD video insane insane so I hit Troy up

And, and he was very gracious in connecting me to those people. So they're doing it for me. God bless. And I'm, we are just getting started. Everything in my house right now is completely covered in sawdust because the roof just got done and it all came through the ceiling. It's,

insane so you know okay well it doesn't maybe matter because you're leaving no can we talk about this so this is all gonna happen while i'm away okay yeah okay so talk to me you walk in here and you're like bitch you caught me at a great time and i'm like wait why hunter why you're tell me okay what is happening okay so so yes you have caught me and for this interview and very it's

I've had a fucking week. My sister knows this. I've had a fucking crazy week. So I got this. It wasn't necessarily an offer, but casting people for this TV show came to me like, no.

a little over a month ago and asked if I was interested. And I initially, and this is something we'll get into too, is I don't think, you know, I feel like I did TV and that was such a great intro to acting. But since moving into films, I realized I love acting.

the film format so much more because it's so it just tv is so it's a beast it's a beast and so i was really like under the impression with myself that i was not gonna do tv again after euphoria is over okay but um and and so i initially i i said no i don't think i can't i mean this sounds really cool but i i just don't think i can do it again and then um

And then, you know, and then so they went off and they went into they tried, you know, they tried casting people and then they came back over a little over a week ago and were like, hey, we just want to gauge your interest again because we really think you're

or could be really right for this and so I was like okay I need a meeting with y'all to like show me really what you're trying to accomplish here it was an amazing meeting and I was like fuck I feel like the universe is like handing me this thing right now it's not what I thought I was gonna give but

But I feel like I have to do this. And can I say what it is? It's Blade Runner 2099. So there's, you know, the initial Blade Runner from the 80s and there's 2049 from 2019. And so this is the continuation 2099 in TV show format. It's very cool. Congratulations. Thank you. That's like insane. Thank you. And when you have meetings like that, when you say like it goes well, like what do you look for to make you feel comfortable? Well, yeah. So like,

The acting thing, this all like I was I was not looking to be an actor. It's not what I thought I was going to do with my life. I still question whether it is. So this week has been this whole process of being like, shit, I have I am being handed these incredible opportunities on a silver fucking platter. And while it might not be why I thought I was put on this earth to do acting,

Like, this is what I'm being fucking called to do right now. Right. And so that's been, like, a big processing moment. And I think it's really allowing me to, like, head into this project and just, like, fully, like, just dive in headfirst and, like, give myself to it, you know? Okay. I have so many questions of just, like, how we got here and how you are doing. So you grew up in North Carolina. Mm-hmm. And obviously that's so fucking different than L.A. Mm-hmm.

What is your hometown like? Can you describe it? Yeah. So, well, so it's, so sir's laughing. Why is she laughing? That's so funny. Well, you know, so I've, I, I really, I'm gonna be honest. I've, I fucking hated North Carolina. Okay. Um, and I,

growing up there, being queer, being queer in the South, anybody who's queer in the South knows it's not fucking easy. It's really, culturally, it's in a completely different place than like the bubbles in the cities that we live in. And I always knew that

I didn't belong there and that I belonged in these spaces where I can like be myself and like not feel like there's a target on my fucking back all the time. I really hated it. And like, I'm not going to lie, like growing up there, like, like fucked me up. I have now come to love it.

because I can return there in all my bad bitchery and like know that I'm fierce and I don't feel like a fucking nuisance for existing in North Carolina now. So I love it now. But going up there, it was it was tough. I did not like it. Yeah. What were you like as a kid, like in this environment? Describe yourself. One of.

My like, I guess, afflictions with life is I have never been able to really help but be who I am. And and, you know, so even before I transitioned and I transitioned in my first couple of years of high school, but before I transitioned, you know, I'm just like, can I say it?

Bad words. I mean, like, yeah. Yeah. Like, so I'm just like this little faggot. Like I, you know, I am like an extremely high femme boy in this, you know, space of like, you know, boys are like very one way, especially in the South. Like it's just culturally what it is. And, but I mean, it's one of, I'm so thankful that I have not really been given a choice to be anyone else.

but who I am. So I always stuck out like a sore thumb. Um, but I was, I loved like extremely artistic, um, pretty happy. I've always had like a, like a pretty easy access to like joy. Um, I think, um, so like, despite my circumstances, you know, I, I, I look back on my childhood and despite being in a certain amount of pain just for being who I am, I was a pretty happy

kid you know that's amazing yeah like if you're in the south you're right as like growing up if you are queer in the south like still to this day it's crazy to say like kids are having a hard time even fucking California they have a hard time which is even fucking crazy to say so when you're growing up in that environment I know you have three siblings and you're the oldest yes being the oldest it was it hard to like open up to your siblings or were they like there for you like what was that dynamic I would say the siblings was was on the

easier end because I think that, I mean, like me and Hannah, like we, because we're so close in age, so we were in the same schools and because nobody really understood like what I was doing, I think, you know, we had our trials and tribulations as siblings and we, but we've taught, you know, we've moved far, far beyond that.

that now and you know my siblings are some of the closest people in my life now but at the time yeah I think it was a little tough for everybody because no one not even me understood what like I was going through and why I stuck out like a sore thumb and you know whatever but as happy as you were that like makes me sad for any kid that's like going through something that's like

Indescribable in your mind at that point Did you have a hard time in school Like what was your middle school like Middle school was probably the hardest Actually um you know Young teenage boys are Pretty gnarly especially when They are confronted with like

a kid who they just don't know what to do with. They have no grasp of queerness, whatever it is. So it's like, oh, look at this gay kid. They just don't know what to do with it. And so they'll be mean. So that was always tough, just dealing with boys who don't get it. But I found my...

cute little nerdy friend group and you know and that was like my first experience of like okay if I find my circle I can be myself and I'll be okay so so that was that was cool but middle school is also when I realized I was gay or like at that time I thought I was a gay boy so came out who did you come out to first my friends my friends so like and that's the thing of like okay I have this this network of support where even if

My parents don't accept. Okay, these people will get me. So they were the first people I told. And then I would tell my parents, tell my family, whatever. Your parents? So your dad was a pastor growing up? My parents are still...

pastors. Yeah. So my dad is a pastor and my mom is, you know, she's ordained to be a pastor. She works in the children ministry ministry in the church. Okay. Talk to me about that because just like thinking of like what you were going through as a young kid, being in the South and having your dad, like a part of the church, like how did that work out? It's, it's like another layer to it all of, of, and, and thankfully, you know, I didn't grow up in Catholic

Catholicism or anything. And I hear about, you know, people in my community who grew up in that and it's like, oh, girl, I'm so fucking lucky that I got to grow up in a normal, even though my parents are pastors and I'm very involved in the church, in like a, on the chiller side of Christianity, Presbyterian church. Oh my God, Catholicism is like in...

insane like you're gonna burn alive yeah like i am yeah so there was never like this oh you're going to hell but then i would see things about just christianity in general where there are churches that like believe you're going to hell and and so there was that was this whole complex that i had to get through too um and then but thankfully when i came out

It's gay to my parents. You know, I think they I mean, I think anybody could have fucking told you by looking at me that I was was gay at the time. So that was easier than the trans thing came on later on. That was a bit hard.

But did you feel like not even just you as an individual, like did you and your siblings feel like you guys had this like expectation around you? Like I'm thinking like TV shows and I'm like the pastor, like I'm thinking like seventh heaven back in the day. Like, yeah, I don't know. Like, did you guys feel like you had to like live up to this expectation?

Like, like reputation almost? I think it was there. And this is something that I definitely dealt with later on too in life of like, of like, you know, because there's this whole like pastor's daughter, like trope, you know, and it gets kind of tough because obviously like what I do now is very like, I mean, my first job when I had to tell my parents that I was doing a TV show, like,

And in the first episode, I'm having anal sex with a 45-year-old and cutting myself in the arm, like all this stuff. But my first thought is like, okay, they have to tell their congregation that their kids aren't going to be on TV. And then their congregation who are just...

you know, little old nice white Christian people from the South are going to watch this TV show and see me getting butt fucked. And, and it's like, it's like, Oh my God. I'm like, I, so like to a degree, I still do like feel bad because that's something that they still have to deal with. You know, my movie coming out next, next in, in a couple of weeks, kinds of kindness, which I'm so excited about my one scene in it. I got,

my titties out, girl. Like it's like, you know, and I have no personal problems with it, but it is something where I'm like, some people just don't aren't going to get it. And, you know, that's a whole other thing. How did your parents react when you told them? And also, like, how do you sit your parents down for that? Is it after the dinner table? Is it a phone call? Is it a FaceTime? Yeah. Is it a letter? So I didn't tell them that I was in the process in the audition process because I really wasn't sure that I was

gonna do it because once again i didn't think acting was my calling or anything it's not my plan it wasn't my plan um so i didn't tell them until i had actually gotten the job um which kind of left them in a situation because it doesn't really give them room to like give their opinions or whatever um but i think they were just like worried because that you know they don't come from this world and sometimes i get really jealous of like my peers in this um

in you know this industry that do have like family in it because yeah I mean there's pros and cons but and and for some for a lot of reasons I'm really happy that my family is in this completely separate world but but like the guidance part I think that's what they were worried about is I think they you know even though they didn't know a lot about it I think they know the nature of this industry can be very intense and they just didn't want me to get like felt

fucked up by it you know that's a good point and it also sucks like you're it's so crazy to think that like your first fucking acting job is euphoria like yeah that is so baller yeah but it's also like I get what you're saying if you if your family doesn't come from the industry at all there's also this like natural judgment of like are you about to fuck your life up yeah like oh my god are you making the biggest like decision that it's gonna like

ruin your whole life exactly where like other people that maybe like are you more used to it it's like this is how it goes yeah get the role i just had to tell i had to be like like there it is i think i used the word risque and i don't think just like a little risky and then cut to cut to them at the premiere like i don't think my mom could even watch it like it's you know it's insane it's insane

You're like, oh my God. It's almost like when you watch a movie with your parents that has a sex scene when you're young and you're pretending you're going to get your ice cream at the time because it's so awkward. Meanwhile, you're like, so that's me. Yeah. And I can't run away from this. Oh my God. God bless you. Honestly, like that is strength within strength. It's so nuts. It's so nuts. I'm curious though, when you were talking about kind of closing out that like chapter of middle school, obviously everyone needs a fucking outlet of like, I am dealing with all this shit.

Yeah. Like I remember reading like you said you journaled. I don't know if it was in middle school, but what did you do to like feel less alone with all these thoughts? Well, yeah, I think and it's part of it's just part of my nature, too. And I think part of like the pressure cooker that I sort of placed myself in growing up in a place where I was so unhappy with my surroundings is I I really like devoted my my free time and like my life to like

like my art and and at the time it was visual arts where I put all my creative energy but I knew that that that is like my gift is like I'm an artist and and it's still t to this like I know that that's what I was put on this earth to do was to like make stuff but um but uh you know at the time it was visual arts and so I did everything that I could to just kind of like like

like put all my energy into that. And, you know, it ended up being like my first job, like in high school, my first job was contributing to, you know, making little watercolor comics for an online magazine and stuff, you know? And so that was like, this is what's going to get me out of here and get me to where I want to be in life, you know? Totally. Yeah. It's so, even hearing you say that, it's so hard in general being a child, but like

At that point, it just sucks because like there are so many kids that get to live their life and be like not having to escape and get to like go to the fucking playground and like frolic around you being like I was trying to like use this as an escape. So I didn't have to like deal with like what the fuck was going on reality. Yeah. Then you get to high school. Did you ever like?

talk to anyone that you felt like actually understood you? Well, so, I mean, this is the thing. It's like when the trans thing started coming up and that kind of started coming up with the onset of puberty, which I...

was experiencing severe like levels of anxiety that no like you know middle school or high schoolers should be going through at that time um for especially around something that's you know quote unquote inevitable um and uh and i realized that this like wasn't

And then I turned to the Internet because I didn't even know what being trans was. I had no idea that you could there were trans people in the world. And that's the kind of isolating piece of like growing up in the South. Nobody talks about it. There's there's no people in my line of sight that like are this. And.

And then so like I, you know, went to the Internet. I looked on YouTube and found out like, oh, shit, you can this. It isn't my destiny. It doesn't have to be my destiny to become a fucking man and grow a beard, you know, and all that stuff. And then but then it's the whole thing of like, OK, now that I know that this is my tea, I have to get everybody else on board because I'm still a fucking kid, you know. So that and that was harder because I.

I didn't know what it was. My parents didn't know what it was. And that was a bit harder as far as, like, you know, there were moments of, like, when I first came out where, like, I told them, like, I'm a girl. And they were like, no, you're not. Like, you know, but it's not because...

I think they've always known like deep down, but like they didn't. There's there's one when you don't know like what it is, like there's no way to like like real or I don't know, contextualize that. It's like the concept. Like when you say that, like to actualize it. Yeah. Like people have a hard time, especially because like you're saying like no one around you guys like you could relate to. Yeah. So you're coming to your parents with this information. And like obviously some parents are fucking awful when it comes to this. But it sounds like your parents are.

They came along. Right. They were just like, I don't understand what you mean. Yeah. And I think...

they started realizing because this when I with the onset of puberty and everything is is where my first I've dealt with mental health you know for a while now but that's when it first started showing up as in depression and anxiety and my grades started fucking up and I became you know kind of I was becoming a shell of a person and I think they could see that and then they were like

shit okay this is this is like we got to figure this out you know right and that's what's like so heartbreaking for houses that like don't accept their child because it's like yeah

why like let them be who they need to be because you're right like you're becoming a shell of a person because you're not like who you authentically know you need to be inside yeah and everything is telling you one thing and then everyone is like no no don't do that well I think it's out of love like I think it's like you know and I think it's like my parents first reaction where was was like that because like they love me they want me to be okay and I'm

I'm pitching them this insane idea that I want to I want to chop my dick off and become a woman like you know like like uh you know and that's a very crude way of putting it but like just sort of like get my point across like like and and I think no one wants anybody that they love to like endure a harder life than they have to but sometimes that's that's the fucking deal what I

I love about you and like even sitting here, your energy is just like so incredible. And I think back to like younger you obviously like going through it, but like what kind of like

I don't know if that's the right word, but like traits do you think like you gained through like having to really like endure a lot of like turning inward within yourself and like betting on yourself and relying on yourself? Yeah. Being trans has been one of the great challenges of my life. And it sucks that I had to deal with it so, so young and that I live in a world that I

you know, is constantly fighting me on that. And it and it absolutely fucked me up. And I'm still dealing with the ramifications of that today. But at the same time, I would not have it any other way because it has taught me and it's why I'm so thankful for it. It has taught me that like the power of intuition and kind of like

the proof that I have, like, a soul and, you know, and, like, and that...

And that like all the answers are inside of me, you know, and at least for my truth and my life and whatever. And and like that is like priceless. And and it's something that I use as, you know, a grounding force in everything that I do in my life now, you know. So, yeah, it's I'm so thankful for it.

First of all, thank you for sharing all that because I know it's personal and I really appreciate you opening up because when you're saying the intuition thing within yourself, it almost made me cry because I'm like, that is so fucking real. And so many people watching this are probably going to clip that. That's why I want to share this. It's incredible. And just sharing your experience, that is like...

so powerful to be like lean the fuck into what you feel stop listening to what everyone else is saying I know it's so fucking hard yeah but when you can start to channel that like we all know what's best for ourselves exactly no one else does and you can even like

you it's so weird like your layers of like consciousness and everything because you can totally on surface level be telling yourself something is right for you when in reality deep down and you and you know it's there but you won't look at it like you're only looking at this thing that you're telling yourself but deep down you know you you always know always know you know you can try to avoid it sometimes like thoughts

Yes. And you literally put yourself in your own psychosis of like of like believing in this reality that is not actually so real. It's so crazy. I also appreciate like as we're kind of just going through your life, I wonder and you could you don't need to answer. But like, is it annoying sometimes? Because like a part of a big part of your life is like this this.

that you realize like, oh, like I don't know if I'm like happy with the way that I was like born and I want to be this way. And like, I'm so happy with myself now. But like, is it annoying when you're in interviews that like, like I want to talk about this before. I didn't want to be like, I didn't want to ask you about it. That's why I was like, oh, we got to high school in your life. What happened in high school? Like I would ask anyone on the show. I hope you know, like you can talk about it as much or not as much as you want. But like, are you like, can we move on? Like I'm this like...

So I thought about this today because I just recently had an interview come out where I fucking... This was the longest interview I've ever done. It was two, like, four-hour sessions. And so I really just was... I was hyped up on caffeine. I was yapping. I was talking about...

whatever I wanted to. And I did, I, I gabbed about how fucking frustrating it is, um, to constant, because like in interviews for like press things, when I'm promoting a movie or something, it's oftentimes the first thing an interviewer will, will,

ask about because it's what makes me unique and they know that it'll get clicks, you know? But what's frustrating to me about that is I'm here to promote my work in a movie that has

nothing to do with that and you are just fishing for things that will get you clicks and that's what's so frustrating to me about that this today when what I love about this podcast is like is that you like we're talking about real shit and life and whatever and I can't really talk about my life in full honesty without talking about it and it is something I do believe because I didn't really fame is something that I'm like

I knew what I want to do with my life often involves fame to some degree. It's not something that I thoroughly enjoy, but I do feel like I have been put in this position in order to...

help progress, like, the movement. But do you ever feel exhausted from that? Like, it's not your fucking job to educate people? All the time. All the time. And that's the thing. I don't like talking about, like, just, like, educating people on, like, the fact, like, bitch, Google is, like, literally... That's how I learned about it, so you can certainly do it, too. But as far as, like, my experience and also helping other young trans people who might watch this or watch some of my other work, which...

Sometimes I do incorporate my transits into my work. That's who I'm doing it for. Yeah, I feel like there's a difference between like,

genuinely and authentically just like speaking about your experience yeah people are like oh like I like what she said there versus being like so hunter yeah in high school and you're like Jesus fucking Christ I'm promoting the hunger games why are you asking me about what it was like being a tranny growing up in the church like what the fuck are we talking about yeah no I I respect that and I just wanted to hear from you because I bet it's fucking annoying so

Speaking of high school, did you dabble with drugs and alcohol at all? Were you pretty clean? And that's something that I think the church thing that I'm pretty thankful for is I would smoke weed with my friends. And now I've come to learn I fucking hate weed. Weed is not for me. I cannot smoke it. And I had this really horrible experience with it. Like,

when I was like 18 or something where I like I smoked and I literally thought I was in hell and then I've never done it again so I'm like really off of it that's the only thing that I kind of dabbled with and then like you know drinking here and there yeah but never really getting into it that's been more of like a early 20s thing you know you need to be like in your room

Like by yourself or that could be scary or with one friend that you trust. Yeah. And like ease in. Yes. Because that's my thing with weed is like because some people can just smoke and just like

kiki and bitch that is not how like when i have smoked weed in the past i become non-verbal i'm on the floor and like a creature like that's that's just when i have smoked that's what that's my tea that's what i give terrifying and and you can't do that around especially people you don't know then you're like psych yourself out and like hunter you're like yeah i'm just

No. And also they're like, it's weed. Like, it's not that deep. And you're like, it is that deep. It is that deep. I think weed is one of the most psychedelic drugs on the fucking planet. I mean, that's a stretch, but like, it's, it's, it's, I think it is very psychedelic. Okay. Let's talk about euphoria. Yeah.

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okay let's talk about euphoria okay I think I read somewhere but like I don't know if you've ever actually like told the whole story like on a show where I can hear you yeah tell me the story of how you got the role and like how it all came to be um I I was taking gap year okay um and modeling in New York at the time I got scouted over Instagram blah blah I go to model I'm like I want to make some money that's not what happened by the way but uh I left modeling in debt um but uh you

You can dream. That's another story. Anyways, I'm doing my model give. And right as I'm getting ready to go to college, because that was my plan. I was going to save up money, whatever. Go to college. Then...

this casting call comes about. Um, and I see it floating around on Instagram and then my agency tells me that they have asked me to come in. And so this happened with, there are a handful of trans girls working. There's a lot more now. There's like a handful of trans girls working in modeling at the time. We'd all gotten asked to come in for this, for this, um,

audition and I was really like I don't know because it's like trans and like and it's you know not written by a transfer I'm like I don't know and then uh but I I go in because they really want me to and because I'm like okay let me let's just like see what this is about um

and I went in uh and by the way I've no acting experience I have no idea what I'm doing um so I got in and the great thing is that they essentially just wanted me to play myself um so I got to basically just like be myself with lines and I think that whatever it was it worked for them you know so I keep getting callbacks callbacks callbacks

um eventually they fly me out to la for like a final audition um in front of all these hbo execs in this crazy room and then i find out later that afternoon that um i got the role and you know and i was still teetering on like do i this is was not my plan and this changes everything and i have to be completely honest then i saw

the the paycheck the the the per episode and i was like this is more money than i've ever seen in my whole entire life

I don't think I can say no to this. And frankly, at that point, I had also read more of the episodes. I really liked the show, you know? So it's like a combination of those things. And I really liked the showrunner, Sam. We had had really good meetings. And I was like, okay, I feel like, and it's the same thing that keeps happening where I'm being handed this thing.

I think I have to take it. And so I did. It's so crazy that like you had no interest in fame. And obviously, like I'm assuming like once you took the show, you guys didn't know it was going to be like what it was going to be. So I think we all knew it was something special when we were making it. Yeah.

We all, like, we loved the first season. It was so magical. Like, we all loved it so much. And we still, I mean, we still, like, we look back on it as, like, wow. Like, we all got to grow up inside of this thing together. It's really special. But, yeah, I didn't, we didn't know that it was going to become what it did. Yeah. Can you, like...

Take me to that moment where you're, like, realizing, like, the show's out. Fame is happening. Everyone knows your name. Like... Yeah. It's one of the most surreal things I've ever been through because it's... Because...

You are still the same person. So I'm still the same person. But then the entire world's relationship to you changes like that. And it was I'm not going to lie. It was really it threw me for a fucking loop. And thank God we all the cast and I came up in this together and we were able to like like lean on each other in this just like really surreal experience.

Because I don't know how I could have fucking handled it if...

If I didn't have them. And you know. Like particularly Z. Who's one of my best friends in the world. To this day. And she. You know. Thankfully she had had some experience with fame already. And we were really close by the time. We really like kind of. You know. Fell in love with each other as friends in the first season. And she was able to help me through all of that too. But it was very surreal. And I wouldn't say I had no interest in fame. Because I knew fame could get me.

the things that I wanted to do in life. And I knew that could be a tool, but it's not like I had any person and I still don't really have any personal, like I don't personally gain anything from it. If anything, it's just like made existing in public a little harder as a socially anxious person. But like, but it's a, it's an amazing tool to like get what I want and to make what I want happen. No, it's so interesting. You say that because I, I,

People always say like, oh, people think they want fame and money. But if you just hand them money, then they actually don't even need the fame. That part. Because if I could walk away from all of this with the money and not have... Oh, life would be perfect. And some people like it. Like, I get that. But like... Yeah, some people do. And some people are meant for it. Some people were like, this is what you were supposed to do, Diva. Do you have a moment where you were like...

found yourself, like, very overwhelmed by it all. And you, like, were shutting down. So I remember some of the first moments of getting recognized in public happening. Like, I think me and Barbie were at a cafe and, you know, the first, like, four episodes or something were out and it hadn't really started. But then...

But we're just at a cafe running our own business. And then we have people start coming up to us. And it's the first time this has ever happened to me. And it's just really surreal. And then I think the moment that I really realized things were changing was I was in New York doing press. And it's one of those interviews. I forget what it's called. But it's like kind of public because they do the interview in this like

corner glass oh like the today show vibe where it's like today show like people can see you people can see you and and you know so I walk in to do this interview and everything's kind of normal and then by the time I come out from doing the interview a crowd and paparazzi have amassed and then

we get followed around and my mom is there with me too and we get followed around by these paparazzi for the rest of the day and just coming from what I come like and it was I like I couldn't fucking process it and it was it's it's scary because like getting followed is

and having people scream at you and stuff, it puts you in like a fight or flight. Because you can understand on a surface level what's happening, but your body doesn't know that. And you feel like you're in a cage because you're like, well, I can't open my car door. Exactly. So you're just kind of like,

I'm sad. Yeah. Is your mom like, what the fuck? I think, I mean, my mom was great because I think she knew that I was really overwhelmed. Yeah. So she was just there for me. Yeah. But I think we both at the end of that day had, were just like,

what the fuck just yeah and and then you know it's kind of never been the same sense well and I appreciate you sharing like you're like I'm a socially anxious person so like naturally this isn't something that I'm like let's go like how do you in moments where your life is feeling too Hollywood like how do you come back to being like Hunter yourself not yeah Hunter Schaefer like

Prada, Vogue, all the things. Yeah. And it's taken a while, but I've created this dichotomy between the Hunter Schaefer that I give to the world and then like

hunty who that's what my friends call me and everything like like those are two different people and so like she the famous hunter is kind of like my drag and having those be separate is so important for my fucking sanity um and it's also i've

It's one of my greatest gifts in this life is I have wonderful, wonderful friends and family and their people. A lot of them have been around before I got famous and so they know me and can't really project me.

my drag onto me like they know me for me um and uh um and so having them there is just like priceless yeah that's amazing that you've like been able to figure that out pretty quickly because that takes some people like a really long time it was not quick right okay well even though

like you don't think it's quick. Some people literally get to the point where like at the end of their career, they're like, I should have like disconnected more. And I do think, thank God you have your friends and family that are like, you're hunty bitch. Don't forget it. Okay. We're going to treat you like you're just hunty and you're not Hunter Schaefer. We're not going to treat you different. Exactly. Exactly.

That causes people to become monsters that they're like, do this for me and do this for me. And then you're not even a real human. You're a robot. No, you're like, yeah, it's it's it's psycho. And it's sad to watch because, you know, we do watch it happen to people a lot. Yeah. Obviously, I have to ask, is season three happening? Like, what are we doing, girl? You know, obviously, I like.

The real tea is I have no fucking idea what's going on. And you can ask literally all of the cast. And it's, you know, it's... I mean, here's the real tea is that a lot has happened. But at least for me and knowing where the rest of the cast is at and everything too, I mean, a lot has happened. We have had...

And it's hard to talk about. But, you know, we've had deaths. Girl, I'm going to get emotional. And it's I think everyone feels a certain sense of, oh, girl, sorry. Oh, it's okay. Anticipation for like if we are supposed to do this season three of like

um obviously i'm still coming to qualms with what's happened um and losing people that we uh really loved and we're a part of this family and everything you know um and uh and i think season if we do go back it's um it's that's gonna be tough

I mean, and I think there's a world in which we can channel that into making it a beautiful season three if it is supposed to happen. But I think, you know, that shit really threw everyone for a loop. So on an emotional level, and then there's, you know, all these, you know, industry, whatever political things that are, that go into whether or not this is happening. But that's emotionally, I think, where a big part of what's happening.

happening yeah too you know um i'm so fucking sorry and like it it

clearly like you were obviously so close when you even talked about the cast I'm just so sorry because like when you talk about like this rise like this is this became like your family yeah like these are people that you were like fuck I don't know how to handle this none of us know how to handle this let's all lean on each other so like I can't imagine and I'm so sorry and like thank you there is no right or wrong whether you guys come back or don't like it's been one of the most incredible rides yeah you guys have done such an incredible job and like

thank you for giving your life to something that has like really brought so many people like entertainment and happiness and like there's a lot of themes that I think people have like loved that are very progressive and have just like helped a lot of people so whether it comes back or not thank you we love you all thank you and we support you thank you and thank you for being being real with me let me give my emotional whatever because it's still I'm still of course in it girl it's it's crazy grief is a

a motherfucker and it's not linear and some days you'll see a picture in it i know or like a thing in the street and you're like it'll hit me on the fucking toilet i don't know where it's just like you know it's you never know crazy you never know

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Okay, I'm going to shift our energy and we're going to play Would You Rather. Oh shit. And then we're going to get into dating. Okay, yeah. We're re-auditing. Okay, okay, okay. Here we go. We're going to play Would You Rather. Would you rather wear Euphoria style makeup every day for the rest of your life or never wear makeup again? Never wear makeup again. Easy. Easy.

No shade to euphoria makeup. I just am a no makeup girl. Love it. You're gorgeous. Thank you. Okay. Would you rather send a nude to the wrong person or accidentally send a sext to your mother?

That's insane, Alex Cooper. That's such a fucking crazy question. I would... Well, it depends on who's getting the nude. Because my friends and I, they see me naked. It's no big deal. But what if I fucking send it to my mom? Then that might just be as bad as the sex. Um...

You know what? I think, you know, my mom has seen me get butt fucked on television. I think she can handle an accidental sext and we can recover from that. I love that. Thank you. That says so much about you and your mom. What would you do? Honestly,

I guess I was going to say the nude, but again, it depends who it's to because if like I'm looking cute, I'm like, oh my god. It's like accidentally I sent it to an ex. I'm like, yeah. But – Right. That's – Oh, not bad. But if it's to like a coworker – Or like a producer, an executive. No, ma'am. Absolutely not. I think my mom, depending on the level of the sex – Yeah. Like if it's like a choke on your cock situation –

Like, mom, this is such a crazy question. And I wrote it. I'm like, what is wrong with me? I pray for both of us that we never have to deal with that. Me too. Me too. What is your opinion on sexting? It's like, I've tried. I've had cute moments with it.

never it's never ideal i would say it's exhausting it's exhausting for me personally i don't i personally i hate texting in general done um i if we need to if we're gonna talk facetime me you know i'm a facetime girl uh so the texting have you ever reused a nude absolutely

The best. Absolutely. Perfect use of your time. You're like, oh, let me go into the storage closet. Yeah. Let me pick out which one I'm loving today. Go to library. Pick it out. Yeah. Get that shit out there. Okay. Here we go. Yeah. Drunkenly hook up with a friend who you know has feelings for you and you don't have feelings back or you have to get back with your most recent ex for a month. So, okay. Actually, you know what? No. Like I... So...

My friendships, especially a lot of my I come from a lot of lesbians in my circle. And I don't know how many lesbians you've talked to, but most of everybody has already had sex with each other and probably will again. And that is very much the case for me and mine.

Like, like let's be friends, friend group. Um, so that would probably be no problem. If that happened. Have you ever hooked up with a friend and regretted it?

really regret too much. Okay. No, I mean, I've definitely drunkenly done things where I'm like, ooh, girl. That didn't need to happen. But it's not... No shade. No nothing. Okay, fair. What is going on in your dating life? Are we single right now? Yes. Are we dating? No, we are... I'm single as fuck. Okay. Are you loving it? I am...

I'm loving it. So, yeah. So, I mean, you know, like, I think it is perfect for where I'm at in life right now. Because especially given this past week's stuff where I am about to undertake this enormous project. And the last time I did it, you know, I was in my first relationship when I first started Euphoria. And I didn't know going into it how much of...

me it takes and I really live in that world when I'm doing it and uh and you know like that relationship didn't end up working out because I just had no capacity to like do a relationship so I think it is so perfect that I am single as a pringle right now um because I get to just dive in your head first into this um but um but um yeah my last relationship was like

I don't know. It's where we've, we hit the year mark a little bit ago since we broke up. So yeah. Do you prefer someone in the industry or not in the industry? Um, it's not really a, I mean, this is, it's still tough and I still like don't totally agree.

No, but, you know, because I've done both and they both are really nice for their own reasons, because obviously and I have this with my friendships, too, where like I my job and my life that I live requires me to be on standby all the time. I found out that I'm spending the rest of the year in Europe.

Like not even a week ago. And, and, and, you know, it's like, it's hard to maintain relationships. And so the people that have stuck around in my life know that I operate on this level where like, you know, and it's all like my best friendships are like this, where like we can go a month or however long,

And not talk. And then when I, when I come back or when they come back, we can pick right back up where we left off. That's how I operate in my relationships. I like, it's just how it is right now. Um, and, uh, and so, yeah, like with the relationships too, it's, it's like, it's, it's nice to,

dating other people in the industry because they also work like that. Right. So they get it. Like they're like, they're not going to be annoyed that you're like leaving for a certain amount of time. Because I've had friendships end because they're just like, girl, like, like, where are you? Where are you? Yeah. I have work. Yes. Yeah. Okay. What is the best first date you've ever been on? Best first date I've ever had? So the date, like dates is like,

I'm just now getting into the era of my life where I'm an adult and I feel more like...

The idea of someone asking me on a date or me asking someone on a date, like a first date where you go to dinner and you get to know each other. I haven't done a whole lot. A lot of my previous stuff is we start out as friends or random hookup, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then it turns into whatever it is. But I would like that.

the dating thing. It sounds fun. No. Okay. Did you go on a first date with your husband? I did. It was like the best first date I ever had. Yeah. Which,

Which is annoying because I hate that. Like, I feel like some dates could be great first dates and then they like turn out to be fucking shit. It turns out that he wasn't a dick. He actually was a lovely guy and I ended up marrying him. But I've had good first dates, but I've had awful first dates before. I also think like it is more normal sometimes to just like go from friends and then all of a sudden you're just like hanging out at your house, your apartment and like that's fine too. Have you ever had it where like

After a first hookup, you're like, oh my fucking God, the chemistry was so insane. Like, I must see this person again. Yeah. So you've had that before. Absolutely. Yeah. And that's, that's tends to be when those like what will turn into a relationship. Yeah. Okay. Who is currently your celebrity crush? Oh God. Oh,

Oh, God. Let's see. Who is not offensive to say that you won't have to run into next week? Oh, no. Let's see. What's up?

Actor? I'm trying to think. Musician. Well, I have a type. Okay. Oh, what's your type? I love a musician. True. I've dated a couple now. I think I've seen that. Yeah. I think I've seen that. I've dated a few now. I love a musician. One with like long hair. One with like short hair. You know. It's like the little sucker in me that's just like, oh my God, you are so charismatic and you will...

Play the guitar, whatever. And I'm like, goo goo ga ga. Has anyone ever written you a song? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, and trust me, they know what they're doing, too. They know what they're doing with that. But it works, Siva. Oh, my God. Like on the guitar, just like sitting on the bed.

you know, yeah. Or, or like, you know, send it to you, you know, like, you know, yeah, it's, uh, it works. Uh, I have fear for anyone who, who has this happen to them. Cause you're, you're done. You're gone. You're done. Yeah. If you meet another musician, do you think you're going to be like, I have to break the curse and the pattern, or are you going to go back? Are you talking to any musicians right now? Like if you find a musician that you like again, yeah. Are you going to just go right back in? Oh girl.

I mean, no. So like the thing that's tough with musicians or at least in like my life or like with successful musicians who are like doing tours and stuff is like it's I mean, and it's I guess it's the same thing with actors where they have to go

off for however many months and tour and and then I'm working for how it's like it's very hard so I don't know if that is like in my path again because I've done it and I've tried it and really tried to make it work and it's just very hard and I don't have at least at this point in my life I don't have the capacity to like figure out how that works

works maybe someday though we'll see do you like how I like let you off the hook I'm like okay you don't have to answer I'm like I really wanted to give an answer you'll tell me after like you'll tell me after yeah do you fall in love easily so I'm like falling in love is like so like it's I'm still like figuring out like what it means because I've been in love with people who are like

still some of my best friends to this day. And, and like, we were definitely like in love at that point, but it's changed in its nature. And I still love the shit out of this person, but it's not like that infatuation. So I feel there's a part of me that's like, is being in love, like just a deep infatuation. And then like that sort of subsides. And then it just becomes like, you just love this person. Yeah.

I don't know. It's sort of funny, but I also, I know what being in love, it's like a whole body, like, you know, right? Yeah. But I think that makes sense. I think you're like at that point in your life where you're like experiencing these relationships. I've been through it enough now. Yes. But like, you may find someone at some point that you're like, oh,

oh yeah wait that is different than infatuation right right that's when you'll know is when you're like oh wait yeah because love for me when I was younger like it really I went through a point where it was just infatuation then I was like is this love or is this infatuation right and then I think when I met Matt I was like oh this is like different yeah with my past relationships I've been like

We were in love, in love. Like I know what that is. Yeah. It's confusing. You know what I'm saying? Well, cause it feels different with every partner. Yeah. And I also don't believe in like one true love. I completely agree. Um, how do you handle when people like public opinion on your like romantic relationships? That is something that I have learned. Um, so my last relationship was my first public relationship. Um,

I don't know if I'll ever do it again. At some point when you're doing it, it gets just too hard to, like, I mean, you can try to hide it, but, like, whatever. But I've also come to this point just with fame in general where, like, people are going to say what they're going to say and I really don't give a shit. Because, like, you know, I get called a man often.

hundreds of times on the internet every single day it's like it's like i'm i'm so used to like the just fucking idiots just like saying bullshit all the time so like it's you know on one hand it's like i don't care and then on another hand it's like if you don't like obviously you're

A relationship is like personal and private and like you should not be – you need to eliminate as many factors that are going to make it more complicated than it needs to be if you can. So I don't know. It's something – when I start dating again or something, I'll figure that out. Well, I think it's interesting too. Like you said, like this was your first –

public relationship and I think there's pros and cons where you're like finally we can just like be yeah and like we can go into an event together like as we would want to naturally do but then you're like people are taking pictures and then people are staring yes and then when you break up someone like me is asking you about it and then you're like Alex

Don't ask. Well, no, I'm excited to be talking about love and everything. Like, it's not like, it's not like things that I don't want to talk about necessarily. Right. Like, I've learned a lot. And something that I really love about all my relationships is I, like, you know, even if, like,

Bad shit has happened in them or whatever. Or they have like... Fucked me up to some degree or something. That they have all... I feel like all of my relationships I've come out... Knowing that it taught me something. About myself and about people. And that's like... I feel really thankful for that, you know? Absolutely. I feel like that's like the best takeaway from any relationship. Anything in life. Even if it's not romantic. It's a friendship. It's a work relationship. I was... When I was researching you... I was reading something where like...

your former co-star slash relationship. Yeah. He kind of like talked about like his need for like to get out of like his codependent tendencies. Yeah. I'm sure you read this. Yeah. Were you on the same page? Like it is a breakup like where you're like

blindsided or like were you okay yeah so so like he he said that um and but that that breakup um was uh it was like a mutually like yeah it was a mutually agreed upon and it was it's one of the cleaner breaks of breakups I've had of like

we both recognize that this is not working and we can't do this. We got to go our own separate ways. And it was so, so hard because we really, we really loved each other, you know, and he's, he's a really special person and I love his soul and everything. And it by no means was that really, that was, it was messy, you know, but, but, but it was a clean, it was a clean relationship.

And he has a lot to work on. And I also have a lot to work on. And so I think that's also why I'm in this era of like, I've got to figure my shit out. Because we had a really good thing. But there were things in our own lives

that had nothing to do with each other that kept coming up in the way of the relationship, you know? 100%. What are you like in a relationship? I think it's different for everyone. Like, it's really different with every kind of person too because I've been – I used to exclusively date not men. And this last relationship was my first –

relationship with a man, a cis man, you know? And so it's different. It's very different than like dating. I've dated trans women. I've dated trans men. I've dated cis women and all of it. You know, I've kind of been around the block and it changes. Like the transness is really

interesting because everyone interacts with it differently everyone has their own like you know like like way of approaching it and I have my own way of approaching that relationship with that kind of it's it's it's interesting it's a sort of like yeah no I'm I'm excited to like talk about yeah this is interesting yeah so I'm so thankful for my first relationship um

And I've talked about this before, too. It was with a trans woman and and it was my entrance into sex, romance, all of that stuff. All of those were first in that relationship. And it was with another trans woman. Thank you.

God, thank God. And I'm so, and we're still friends to this day too. That, you know, she kind of like showed me the ropes because, you know, dating as a trans person is,

It's complicated. Let me tell you. It's not easy. And to know in my first relationship and in my first, like, really being in this mutual love thing, you know, first time having sex, that I got to do it with somebody who completely understands my gender. It's incredible. Ugh. I'm so thankful for it. And that's... And so I'm really thankful that I started out with other trans people because...

There's sort of being trans or having trans people in your life. There's a lens that you sort of acquire and it's something that like ignorant people who have no idea how to, how to,

like, engage with trans people or think about trans people, they don't have the lens that allows them to see whatever person as the gender that they are presenting as or whatever. And this is a lens that you acquire as you, like, you know, spend more time with trans people and everything. And so, like, knowing that that lens is there with whoever I was with...

amazing and then it's interesting branching out from there into like cis people um cis women or cis men where i'm not sure that they have the lens even with hookups or whatever this is a constant anxiety i've had with hooking up with like cis women or something is that i'm worried especially also because i'm pre-op that maybe are they seeing something in me that i don't

That is not part of what I give or something. And they might want... And I've had hookups before with, like, cis women where they wanted me to, like, fuck them or something. Like a guy. And it's because I have a dick. And, like, that's, like... And then, like, that coming up in a hookup and being like, oh, God. Like...

It's tough. But then you will find cis people who do know and just get it. And that's what was so amazing about my ex-boyfriend was from the get-go, never, never a fucking, he saw me exactly for who

Who I was, which is amazing. It's amazing too. I appreciate you describing this too, because like, it's kind of hard to, but like, I'm, I'm keeping up with you because what I, first of all, I'm so happy for you. And I know everyone doesn't have that experience. It's like the fact that you were with someone you felt so safe with and you were like, Oh, you get me because we're similar. So it's, it's a privilege to come across people in romance and sex and dating where, where that lens is there. Yeah.

If someone understandably is like, I don't know what you want and they come to you vulnerable of like, I really like you. Are you open to like, that's such a turn on. Oh my God. Tell me what you want. They are coming because it puts their intention on the table of, oh, I like you. I do want to do this with you. I'm just a little inexperienced here.

love that love that amazing it's when they don't and they don't know what they want or they want something that I am not capable of giving then it's like

sticky and gross. So your first relationship with a guy, like just like a guy that was... Also my first monogamous relationship. Everything else had been polyamorous because that's what I came up in. That's how I learned relationships. And I kind of touched on it before. I had built up a complex against men. Understandable. And so like because most if not all of my deeply painful experiences I've had in life have been with men. And so I really like came into this complex of

I never want to let a man that close to me in my life. I don't see a world in which it's possible. Really, I was kind of like, it was, you know, I put up walls and kind of had been denying the fact that

I am attracted to men and I do want to date and whatever men and that that's okay. And I need to let my walls down. And so that's what was so amazing about my last relationship too, is also, and that's kind of what was cool about the public aspect is this is a straight guy who is in the music scene too. And, and, and, and we are in a public relationship where,

He's dating a trans woman and he's completely straight. He's only dated cis women before. And he's toting me around, happy to be my boyfriend in front of the world. And people are saying horrible, nasty shit because it's like, oh, you know, oh, you're so gay. He didn't care at all. And that was something that really showed me too where I'm like, okay, you really...

Yeah. You see me for, you know, and you love me for that. Did you guys have conversations before going out in public together? Like, were you anxious at all? I was anxious, but I was also just head over heels in love and happy to be doing it. And, you know, conversations absolutely should have been happening. But also I was like 22, 23. I mean, you know, I was just like.

This person is so much fun. You know, whatever. So it should have been a thing, but it wasn't. But I think also just to... And listen, like, I've said all these amazing things with the...

He was not perfect. And it's no secret. It's out there in the world. You know, and it's part of why the relationship ended is I got cheated on for the first time. And he's talked about this too, like in his song, you know, he writes about it. So it's fine to be talking about it today. And it's like part of my truth. But that like fundamentally changed me as a person. And it was this whole process of like,

realizing that cheating has nothing to do with you at all and and and it has everything to do with that person and whatever kind of pain they're in or whatever they're dealing with it's it's all that but it's so hard i would say because in the moment it feels like it's all oh yes you're like

too long. And then eventually, I love that you're obviously like a year out. You're clearly at that place where you're like, I can, you know that and you're saying it with confidence. But in the moment you're literally like, oh yeah. And then as a trans woman also with a man who has never dated that before, then it's my mind, you know, and I knew it wasn't the truth. And we both know that. I've no doubt. But you can't help but your brain goes there. But my brain, because of the way I've been socialized as a trans woman,

Like, and it's been this like crux in my life of like why life has been so hard sometimes. I'm like, oh my God, like, is this it? Like, am I, can I just not like...

Like, you know? Yeah. But so it's cuckoo bananas. How did you find out? So I kind of knew, you know, you always, you always kind of know. The gut. Yeah. The gut. And because I kind of knew, I went into the phone, you know? Yeah. Hunter, welcome to the podcast. Which I'm not, I'm not proud of. I'm not proud of.

proud of either. I've done it before. But the amount of people that have sat here and been like it's fucking normal. Yeah. When your intuition is like hitting you in the face you're like okay fine I'll look. Yeah. And the reason you're looking is because you fucking kind of know something. Yeah. And this stuff it makes me so nervous to talk about this stuff because I really I have no interest in

Letting the public into what happened and everything. I absolutely, I want to make this very clear. I have absolutely no fucking desire to like, like, because what happened with that was between me and him and, and I want to keep it and I want to protect that. But, but at the same time, I'm also like, I'm here to talk about my truth and whatever, you know? And he wrote a song and like, yes. And I agree with you. I also think like,

I wish people knew sometimes, like, you, some things, like, are super deep in the moment. And then when you're having a conversation, like, there's no ill will. You've literally said, like, you were in love with this person. Yeah. It ended amicably, like, it's okay. And he's, and he's the same way about it. Because he's, he's the same kind of way, like, where I don't think he has any interest in letting the public in either. But, but we both are yappers at the end of the day. And we're going to talk about, like, it's hard doing, like, the bullshit, like,

I'm putting on a face here. Like, yeah, you know, I'm getting over a breakup, like not even specific, specifically talking about him anymore, but like for you and what you were kind of saying, which I think is like a lot for your confidence. I'm like, as a trans woman, you're like, fuck, like, am I not? And you almost like stopped your sentence. You're like, am I not? Like what came up for you when that happened? Like, am I not? Um, it, um, uh, yeah, I mean it, um,

Like, really? I mean, like I said, it, like, fundamentally changed me. And it's still something that I am working through. What do you mean by that? Fundamentally changed you? What do you mean? Just in that I don't think I understood. Because I had never been in a monogamous relationship before. So I really, my understanding of relationships and love and everything really was rooted in, like, personality.

polyamory and queerness and sort of the way that that world works, which is very open. And I don't, I think I, I honestly, I kind of looked at people in monogamy and be like, Oh, like you're, you're cheating on yourself. La la la la la. Which is, which is also what RuPaul said in that interview. And you were like, no, I literally was like, I just got married. Yeah. Yeah. I know. And she was like, sorry, bitch. It was like, sorry. No. I was like,

Oh my God. Oh my God. And you know what? I, so I don't know where I totally land on it now. I, cause I've done both and, and you know, uh, and I think there's validity in both and it's really a choice and it comes down to each individual thing. But coming from that as my background and the way I learned love, I really looked at monogamy as like a, like you're shorting yourself and whatever. And then I got into a monogamous relationship.

oh bitch I get it I get it it's so nice yes I know oh I loved it oh my gosh but then it opens up the door for that kind of betrayal which is

a different world of pain. Were you open to the concept of monogamy? Like, did he initiate or did you initiate or you both did? Oh, no, I was open to it because, you know, I'm coming. That's what I'm coming from. So I, you know, I even like at the beginning, you know, I like we talked about it, but, you know, that's not that's not what we either of us, I don't think really wanted with with that. And and yeah. And, you know, I think, yeah,

I mean, yeah. Yeah. Are you open to monogamy ever again? Yeah, absolutely. I really feel like, you know, I've done given up. I've done both now. And and like I I know I can be in either of those positions, but I really liked monogamy. It's fucking powerful. It's really cool. And it's your own way. You're like, fuck.

I hate this shit. Back to poly. Fuck you. No, but like now I see the fault in poly because poly is so much work. It's so much work. It's so, monogamy is so easy because it's just like, it's very simple. It's just like, I mean, you have to communicate a lot in either way, but with polyamory, it's

You bring other people into that and other people's relationships and whatever, and it's fine. But then you have to communicate not only about your own relationship, but about if that's in the contract for you, about the other relationships that are happening and how that weighs and how to...

balance that with the person's your primary partner's feelings all that it's like so much work yeah it's so much work and like you're fucking busy i'm too busy right now which is what you know what i said polyamory i'm too busy right now okay let's talk about the new movie that's coming out by the time this episode comes out cuckoo um yeah right that's what i'm that's why you're here that's why i'm here to promote my fucking movie i'm like oh my god okay like you're not gonna be like no

call her daddy yeah and the reason i love having these conversations though is like i get it we can do like a press junket of like no one no one wants to know more than anything about you yeah and then we want to go see the movie because of you yeah and we fell and that's why i want to do this right because i fuck i fuck with this so i i'm so happy you're here um thank you a horror movie yes your first lead role so this is my first this is the first movie i ever got it's not the first movie that

has come out but right uh it's the first movie i ever filmed and it's my first lead role um and are you so excited i'm so excited i love this movie and it really feels like a baby like like and it was my first you know first movie okay um horror i'm such a little fucking bitch when it comes to horror i'm literally like yeah what's happening yeah what's happening like how did you decide on this genre like did you love well i love horror okay i grew up loving horror right um

And I also think it's so fun stylistically, particularly with this director. It was less about the genre and even the script. I watched this director, who's Toman Singer, his first film. And it's his only other...

piece of work I think that's like out in the world that you can like go buy on Amazon and watch um but it's called Lose and I saw Lose and I was like oh my god I have to work with this person on whatever capacity and um and in that audition process I like I fought for that role um and I got it and it's amazing yeah and um I love this movie um I know this is probably like a dumb question to ask but like the process of filming like a horror film like

Me. Do you ever get like scared? I'm like, I'm literally terrified. Like, do you ever? It's not like that, though. I'm assuming. Yeah. No, like, like, well, no, because there were some scary parts because we were filming in the bitch in an abandoned. No. Yeah. Here we go. An abandoned like 20 acre post-World War II military base.

village like module that had been abandoned for 50 years we're shooting at night in these abandoned buildings that have just been sitting there for years that was scary but thankfully i the casting crew and every oh such a big family i loved making this movie with them um and so you know we were it was so familial you know it was only like when you're like oh you have to go walk to your trailer alone and you're like in the woods in the middle of germany and it's like bitch

what but it's kind of scary um but um otherwise no I mean I'm you know

like in the scenes where I'm scared you know I have to be scared obviously but I'm just coming from the perspective where like I'm trying to think of like a movie that you'd be like why were you scared about that like honestly some scenes in like Vampire Diary scared me you know what I mean I still haven't seen Vampire Diary no it was great but like okay let me um like Halloween Town did you ever watch the movie no oh yeah yeah yeah I was scared yeah the Disney movie yeah that was scary I remember that yeah yeah I

I remember. I'm literally so afraid of like, or like on Disney shows, if it was like the like Halloween episode. Oh yeah. No, those were scary. They were. Twitches. Did you ever watch? Twitches. Twitches and the dark cloud. Literally shitting my pants. You remember that?

Yeah, girl. Yeah. So good. Honestly, like a little pathetic, but I'm so excited for you because obviously you being like having this lead role, like it's crazy to, this is why I love talking to you because you started this interview being like, I didn't even know if I wanted to be a fucking actress. And I like get this call and I'm like making no money from modeling. And I get that call and I'm like, I guess I'll do it. Now your life has changed. How has your

since now you're like getting on a plane tomorrow, right? To go to Europe. Like how has your approach changed though to like being an actress? Yeah. So I, you know, cause I was fine. I was like, you know, I was really under the belief for like a few years into it that like,

Okay, I'm just doing this for right now and it's helping my career, whatever. I'm making money. This is great. But I don't know if this is what I'm supposed to do. And now I'm in this place where I've... Because I've been doing it and I get it now. Because also, you have to know... I'm learning how to act on the spot with the first two seasons of Euphoria and everything. You're so fucking good. Thank you. You wouldn't even know. Thank you. But I'm learning. I didn't understand...

I had no idea what I was doing. And I finally, in that process and in this process of just letting this career happen to me, I had fallen in love with the craft. And now I'm at this place where I'm like, okay, maybe...

this isn't what I thought that I was put on this art to do but this is just another form I get to put all my creative energy that I used to put into my journals and in my art and everything into this and I understand how that works now and I've fallen in love with it so now it's at this great

point where I'm like, okay, this is one of my superpowers. This is what I can do. And I love it. Hunter, I'm going to be honest. This was like one of my favorite interviews. No, seriously, like sitting across from you, I'm like inspired. And also like, this is why I love what I do because I've watched you. I see your social media, but like sitting with you for an hour and whatever, like you're fucking awesome. Thank

Thank you. You too, girl. It's just so cool because actresses we don't get to see and even musicians like we don't get to see as much obviously of your personality when you're like playing these characters. Because we're putting our drag in the world. Exactly. But today you coming here like stripped down like being yourself and like opening up I'm like

Thank you so much. Thank you for giving me the, it's, it's, I'm, I'm nervous about like, you know, showing the world, like, you know, my real tea, you know, that you shouldn't scares me, but, but to do it with you, thank you for making the space and everything. And, and like just being here and kicking with me. That's what this felt like. You're amazing. I literally could keep going, but like, I know we have to stop, but I love you. Thank you. I love you too. This was great. Yeah.

♪♪♪

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