Getting Older, Hotter, & Wiser (ft. Heidi Klum, Laverne Cox, Aly Raisman)
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What is your daddy game? IT is your founding father, alex Cooper, with call her. Hello, daddy ganging. Welcome back to another episode of call her daddy. I am so excited for today's episode because, as many of you know, I recently just turned thirty years old, and I have a lot that I want to talk about today because my perspective on turning thirty is so wildly different from what I thought I would be when I was Younger. Thirty years old sounded so freaking old.

And then when I got into my twenty years, I think I really viewed the number thirty as, oh, that's probably like that kind of just like when the fun ends. Like this is where IT all ends, you turn thirty and IT all changes. And I will be honest, I found myself in my twenty is getting slightly anxious each year that I got closer to that number because when you think of thirty, IT feels like there is this connotation that comes with IT and an expectation of once you hit thirty, you essentially need to have everything figured out, right? Everything needs to be settled and lined up.

And if you don't have every single aspect of your life in order by thirty, your fact, and through this show and therapies y and talking with my girlfriends and just growing up in general, I have learned that truly that could not be farther from the truth. But I am aware, obviously, that like our perception of aging as women is so warped and so fucking negative. We all feel IT.

We all have experienced, like IT is so wild and disturbing to me that there are literal middle school girls on tiktok doing nine step anti aging skin. Caro tines, okay. Did you just hear what I said? Not high school, middle school Young girls are doing nine step skin care routines on aging.

Like, I didn't even know how to put fucking lotion on my. I don't even think I put lotion on my face. In middle school, I use some water, a dove soap bar. We kept the buck in moving. okay.

I didn't even understand the concept of aging, but IT feels like unfortunately, I feel like each generation is just getting worse because of the accessibility obviously to the internet and all the procedures. And there is like nineteen million fucking products available now. And just overall anti aging, the pressure is everywhere.

But ironically, I realized IT kindly takes just aging and evolving to grow out of giving a fuck about IT, if that makes any fucking sense. And that's kind of what we're going to talk about today because honestly, now to me, thirty feels Young and I feel like i'm just getting started. So today I want to have a conversation around aging with a few women who have SAT in the cold light studio with me.

They all have very different opinions and experiences, and I think there is something to be learned from every single person they are. Arn t here from today. So daddy, again, let's get into IT aliases. Man liberton talks hidy colum, welcome to color daddy.

Thank you so much for having me high 没完。

As women, we are constantly judged. The older that we get, the harsher the criticism becomes. Everything from how we look, how we dress, who were dating, what age were dating at, and men don't experience the same ridicule that we get. And so i'm curious what your experience has been as a woman in the public eye and out of the public eye with age.

I get the mini skirt question all the time. Like, so how long are going to wear mini skirts? Like that is always like a question, like a mini skirt is always very, you know, it's very it's very much a thing, I guess.

And i've said many times, I mike, I probably will be walking around at seventy if I feel like it's still with a mini Scott. I want to show me my legs. No, I don't know. I feel like this is the process.

So I look at that very how IT is ah you know I mean, I see all my flaws when, well, not so much anymore because my ice side is getting worse but I see my flaws, you know and especially when I have the magnifying glasses and I, you know obviously but this is IT. That's that's how life is, you know you you climb, you get older and then you IT gets IT goes down the hill again, you know, with our looks and not being plump anymore and this than the other. But at the end of the day, I still look in the murine.

I feel good about myself. And, you know, I still have the passion for shopping, for fun things and, you know, putting on fun outfits and doing my hair and do my makeup. You know, maybe if that passion for dressing up and making yourself look cute, or or what do you think looks cute, you know, maybe then that's different then.

But I don't have that yet. I still have the fire and me, even though i'm fifty now and I can see the sixty over there, you know, turning fifty one in june, but it's still like, I love fun things and i'm still running around the beach with my boob hanging out. I don't really care.

And yes, do they look like how they look before kids and they suck the living daylight out of them? Like there are different now and that in, yes, things for pointing IT out, it's true. They're different because I had bored kids breast fed them. And yes, yeah.

you know so when someone asks you about about the mini skirt, does that annoy you or is IT just like you don't even think about IT anymore? Like how does that affect you when people do objectify you to be like no year too old to be doing that?

Like how does that feel if they think that so be IT? I don't care again. You know, I feel very strong with myself that even though people save those types of things, IT doesn't really get to me yeah yeah because I don't see IT that way I look at myself.

And yes, my legs do not look like your legs. You're in your twenties, so it's very different, obviously. But I still feel OK with my leg.

Yeah no. And therefore I go for IT and who knows, maybe sixteen. And we see here again. I might be like i'm done with the mini irs because I don't feel IT anymore. But as long as I feel IT, I don't really care what people think or say to me. I I don't really know what .

i'm getting from you is like, you don't give a shit like people can say, oh, I gotten older hide's done this or when you hit forty, maybe when you hit thirty, everyone had something to say, especially because you've done so public and your job has been a lot of IT is like your looks I always .

love when I pull up photos and they like, look at you here, look at you there. You kind of trouble here and you again, I like guess also what you don't realize i've bargains, so i've been pregnant and then you know, once you've had your baby, it's not like your stomach flat immediately so you deflate a little bit. Everything is still little bit pudgie or what not and I had that four times.

So in out in the stomach, I mean, IT stretches to beyond and back. So you know, I love always when they get big pictures out and like, look at you here. Look how plum you here and i'm like, yes, know when you I guess my question .

is like when these things are happening, like someone pointing that out, like does IT bother you at all or genuine, you don't care. That's what I was going to say, is like, I feel like you have such a unique energy that I think is enviable, truly from women like I feel like a lot of us in the industry feel so frustrated by the fixation on I ve get comments I like you're too old to be doing that now and i'm like .

i'm what like what .

do they tell you if i'm going out and like a drinking um and like having a fun night at a party? It's like that kind of really immature and like you're too old for that now and .

like i've said IT before, like I twenty seven nine yeah this is crazy so now now we're dead after your dad, you're almost thirty.

You're going to be dead, dead, not able to drink alcohol, they at home. I mean.

sometimes I will be in the club and literally I might be the oldest person there I love in, you know but again, I really don't care.

That's what I think is is something that I think is a unique perspective. And I think we're really fortunate to have you as one of the people are going to speak on this because I feel like the more we can have that mentality as women of like I don't give a fuck, oh my god, my legs aren't, obviously, why are we .

actually have one thing in common? We will all die. There will be an end to all of this. So why listen to all these negative noise? So around yourself, with people that are great, that are positive, you know, shake of all the nonsense.

And just do you and do you, however big or small, how you wanna do, some people want to cover up great. I like some people want to be religious. Some don't do what you want to do. We only have that one life until we die.

So marry who you anna, marry, yes, be with who you, anna be with. Wear as many, many skirts as you want to can wear. And rocket.

I mean, I understand you have to do whatever is allowed to do. I would never go to a country and obviously behaving like that, always very respectful of every, you know, I don't a step on anyone's toes, but you know .

no way I think truly like IT couldn't be a Better answer. And I think IT, I hope a lot of women take that from like when I get a lot of women writing end of like people are saying like i'm either addressing to sex at my job and i'm just wearing a pencil skirt and it's like, no, it's because the men can't control themselves because you're addressed appropriately.

It's like not we can wear what we want to wear and IT shouldn't be like you a slut because you're wearing that like that has nothing to do with anything. It's just like why do we have to judge women on what they wear, what they look like? Let us just fuck and live a man.

yes. So the main thing that I took away from hidy is how SHE essentially fully rejects anyone's opinions around aging, and he has so much self love. IT is infectious. And IT was infectious when I was in the room with her. And I want to also be very clear, like IT is not lost on me, that hini colum is a frequent supermodel.

But I do think it's important to note that if we've learned anything from women sharing their stories, it's that I do not care how beautiful you are or how successful you are. Every single woman experiences the universal feeling of being objectified, of being shamed for aging and being told what we should and should not be doing when we hit a specific, certain age, right? Like there is no right way to tackle each age, and there is no right way to act at each age.

No one is too old to do anything. Like in my opinion, I feel like we need to stop saying someone is too old to be doing something or too old to be wearing something because, and I know this is like a really simple concept, because, but because we don't speak about IT this way, that does sound kind of funny when you say IT. Like, isn't the goal to get older? No, like, isn't the goal in life to get older? We want to live a long, happy, healthy life.

Why are we shaming people for doing that? And I know I personally have not experienced motherhood, but I was incredibly empowering, hearing heighty talk about embracing her body, changing throughout, having children like, I feel like a lot of women experiences the stress on some level of wondering what will happen if I get pregnant, right? How much weight will I gain? Will I be hard bounce back? Will I be sexy anymore? Will I be able to return to my pre baby body? Like what i'm realizing is all of our bodies will change every single year that we're alive and every day that we get older.

No fucking shit. That is life IT is a privilege to age. So I don't know. It's just really odd to me that this concept is made to feel so fucking depressing and scary for women obviously like no man has and everyone's like, oh god, it's going to know they're like, oh, he's entering his prime like thirty for women, for thirty for men is just different as is every fucking thing in life.

Men have an experience and everyone is like, yeah and women have an experience and there's like nineteen different daunting facts that someone's going to fuck and give you right um something I want truly everyone to walk away from. The episode gaining is more of that highty colum self love energy like again, I am aware I was in the room with a supermodel and yet i'll be real. I remember feeling so confident in front of hiti and that day just being around heighty, because the way that Hardy spoke to me and about herself and women in general was really inspiring.

And I left, wanting to just treat myself more than the way he does, right, like be more confident where whatever makes you feel good, embrace changes in your body and essentially do what makes you happy and fucking enjoy yourself. OK, i'm very excited to get into my conversation with lever cox now because with highty, we were talking about essentially rejecting this fear around aging and leverage. Does an incredible job of explaining where this fear comes from.

So I just wanted to talk to you kind of about like the fascination of women as we age and the fixation on our looks and our bodies and our sexuality and how we express that, and how you felt about IT with society and also within yourself.

I have internalized so much ageism four years, until maybe three or four years ago, I lied about age. I started lying about my age when I was twenty seven. So I think, I think this would have been like twenty years ago.

And I took me many months, years really in therapy, but i'd really started working on IT, like eight lake in two thousand and eighteen. I start like really trying to look, unpack the stories I told myself around aging. Part of the the narrow designate is that i'm not terrible.

I'm not buckled. I'm not data overs. And that age was like thirty, honestly.

So I was like, I just won't be. When I turned forty, I wasn't forty. And I started to unpack all of that, how I D internalized that. And then I started looking around at my life and I was like, well, I over forty and i'm working. I'm working a lot at a boyfriend at the time I was having sex. You know, I apparently was buckled data and hirable until all of the mith I had about being a woman of a certain age weren't actually the reality of my life.

I've had conversation so far and and really helpful where a lot of women, including like a myself, it's like there's this like fear that we are like our worth is predicated on the way that we look as women. And a lot of IT we've just spent like objectified and people will be like, oh, you're not hot anymore oh, now you have wrinkles or oh, your sagging tips or you're this or .

that is all that's real from all that's real for me. I think it's like even if I weren't an actors working on in film, television, in high deaf, that would be an issue for me. And fifteen one years old, I feel really blessed that melanin is such a wonderful anti aging thing.

But i'm not afraid of ijit. I'm afraid of, look, i'm not afraid of ijit. I'm afraid of looking old. I am that is the truth. That is the reality.

And when I you know, there are little there are things that are happening as a fifty one, you're a woman, even though I think I look pretty good for a fifty one. There are things that are happening that I see like, okay, have to deal and have to address this. And there is a lot of anxiety that I have about getting older and looking older and and when .

you say that deliver and like just to explain to people like as a woman, like what why do you have the anxiety?

IT is tied to the patrie arche is Jones that i've internalized around my value for sure. IT is definitely tight to you know being commercially viable, being sexy, still being um you know photogenic and you know that all all these things being magazine covers like runways, red carpets, it's tied to my work but it's tied to my sense of feeling attractive.

Well, I mean, I have a partner now who just like is so turned on by me which is like so awesome um it's great but but that's not i've learned to that woman i've always been to tried to me not to be for up. But no, I been been dick hard for thirty blest years and is what IT is. So if that's not, there is no, I mean, I don't like when I was Young ger, I may be valued that, but I am a grown woman.

I I it's not about that. It's about how I feel about myself. It's what I want to see when I look in the mirror onesta. And that IT is about so much IT is about viability.

Kerley Foster, who has this great blog youtube chemical for he talks about like social beauty hierarchy and talks about beauty is capital um with I inview her my podcast in beauty is capital there is when you look a certain way and you um and the hierarchy is is a White to premises beauty standard it's a Young beauty standard it's like, you know it's that so big it's all the things right and when you're hire on that beauty hierarchy that is determined by and capitalism and age and racism and fatta bi and all these things, you there are things that you may or may not have access to. Um beauty isn't enough there. So many beautiful man who don't get access those things.

So there's is not always enough, but there's things that you might have access to because of that. So it's it's about lose. It's about capital.

It's about having capital in a capital this society. And luckily for me, when I I didn't feel beautiful growing up, I always wanted to feel beautiful. I didn't feel I, I feel like I was a late bloomer. And so what the beautiful thing about my childhood is that the emphasis was about my talent and my intelligence.

And I know that i'm not on magazine covers just because, like you, I can quote bell hooks, intersection minutes, thought that I i'm kind of cute, you know, I can take a good photograph, and I know my angles because I practice and watch me this model. And so like, yeah part a lot of my work is about how I look. But I also like know that, like there are Younger women.

There's always a Younger woman who's pretty than me. There's tons of women who are Younger and pretty and what else is there? So I I don't so it's sick and hard.

It's it's hard and I haven't I don't know if I have an answer. What I do love is that at this age and be fifty two and may is that there's less I give fewer fox at this age. And that's amazing.

And i'm able to care for myself Better and set Better boundaries. I have resources for skin care. I'm grateful that I know even they, the blackstone cracking, but I ve taken good care of myself. I've never done drugs. I've never drank in excess other sings agu of the sun so i'm grateful for all that stuff but like when the age start showing um i'm probably going to a have a face live to do something probably do something .

of course I oh I think I would want one to and then I my pause why and I think that's where there is no answer .

today and I there's great face lifts too like there there's IT is really interesting like the early make its face lips allegedly access some the celebrities who were like in late there is face alleged and my girl and they look good but hopefully I won't need one anytime soon. You look fucking amazing. Thank you.

I feel, you know, I think I clean up nice. I think that the good the morning too sometimes but it's something it's on my mind and over fifty, it's like it's on my mind. I love what you said though, and we can .

even like just end IT on that because I I agree there is no solution because IT is rooted in the patriarch. And right there is like social capital that you can gain the like if you are more attractive, you can get these things that's not gonna like fulfill u in life, but IT is a fact. But I do think like you're so bright.

Oddly, as much as it's been told to us as women, like when you get older, it's terrifying. I have found about to turn thirty and everyone's like, oh my god, are you so nervous about being thirty? And the work that i've done on myself and therapy, I finally like, absolutely fucking not.

I'm not scared because i've never felt more sure of myself. I've never felt more confident in my own skin. I was so insecure when I was Younger. I was.

you have a career too. For me, so much of my life is about a career when I turned thirty. And I had not made IT yet.

That was my, that was my trauma. I was like, that was the age, the big age thing for for me. With that, I hadn't achieved my gold shed when I was thirty.

I was supposed to be a superstar by the time I was thirty. And I was far from IT. I wasn't one when I was forty.

You know, I was going to quit acting when I turned forty. So a lot of IT was about around success and like milestones around success that that set myself that didn't happen on that time line. Gods time, not my time.

So a lot of IT was about that. But but when british, we were talking, and he was saying how wonderful IT is for her in her fifties, and that the opportunities are different. There is something wonderful about this age.

There really. There is wisdom. I know Better. I treat myself Better. There are certain things that I will not abide.

I I have seen some of the fruits of my labor, and that is unbelievable. I own, I own a home. I own two homes, which condos? But still i'm a condo girl.

I couldn't deal with the house. How is that? Too much made is especially when you're traveling, life is good and i'm so blessed and so grateful. And what i'm most grateful for is i've done the work.

And when I say the work, because i've done a lot of work, then the work of myself that I can actually be in my body and be like that, their kid who disassociated because of trauma, i've done specifically specific trauma, resilience, its work, so I can be in my body. So i'm sitting here now. I feel my feet on the floor, feel myself in this chair.

I am in my body and inhabiting IT and at peace in IT and that um that's amazing like I love my body. You know these these are really wonderful things and it's so funny because when I looking back on like thirty old, the version which just was constantly picking myself apart and I look back at pictures that i'm just like, bitch, the meta lisp, just the metabolic. You should have been so fucking grateful for that thirty year old metabolic, that twenty one year old metabolic, you were beating yourself up.

IT was such a waste energy. IT was such. But I you know the only way you know is to go through IT.

Daddy gay, I think that levering did such an incredible job of explaining women's worth being so heavily tied to their appearance. Ozzer n said. There is always going to be a Younger, pretty, hoder woman out there.

So how can we build ourselves into someone that we're proud of outside of our appearance, right? Like when I look at my life, no matter what the fuck my face looks like, I have built this career. I have built amazing friendships.

I have built a healthy, incredible marriage so far. I have interest and passions and perspectives that could never be taken away. No matter how you can tag, you might just get, okay.

These things could be rock bottom. These things could be to the mother, fuck in ankle slowing at low. Okay, but I still have my well, maybe I wouldn't have my career now.

I'll just start doing more audio. Ms, i'm just kidding. The point is I will still have my career. I will still have those relationships. IT doesn't fucking matter.

And I want to say to the daddy again, like if you're stressed about aging and how it's going to change the attention that you get from men or the way that you're treated in society, my advice is to first acknowledge that you cannot avoid aging. You need to build out the aspects of life that have nothing to do with how you look and find self worth outside of your appearance, right? Like building a full life for yourself is, in my opinion, now that i've turned thirty, it's how you build confidence.

Like as i'm going to continue to age, I pray when someone is describing me, I hope that my appearance is the last thing they mentioned. If anything, i'm happy if they don't even mention my appearance. Like at this age in my life, I would be so honored if someone's said, oh, alex coop er, she's super smart, hard working fun, great to be around not just like, oh yeah, she's so far and hot.

There is so much more to me. There is so much more to all of you than just the way we look like. Don't allow anyone to reduce you to a visual because bitch visuals get boring.

okay? We're always like, what else is there? What else is new? We don't want to just rely on the exterior.

And I think that gets lost on us a lot. A lot of IT has to do with vanity. I myself constantly find myself like alex, like, stop.

Why the fuck are you like setting what you're looking, looking and enjoy more botox? And I I know I need to do a Better job and that's why this episode is so important to me right now. So um I am so excited to have you guys listen to ally race men on this topic.

Ally talks about how her life at thirty is not what he planned and not what he expected. SHE thought he would be married with children at this point, but he is currently single. And I think so many women can relate to the concept of you have a certain idea and plan and milestones that you want to a hit, and then all of a sudden the plane is out the window.

You didn't hit any of those specific milestones. Your life looks way different than what you thought I would be. And it's hard to not feel like you're doing something wrong. But it's so inspiring to hear ali talk about while it's not what we expected, SHE has never felt more short of herself and she's never felt up here. As someone who just turned thirty.

I feel like maybe my experience might be different than some other women in. And I feel very grateful that I feel like the older i've gotten, I think the more confident i've gotten in myself. And I actually hope that a lot of women are all women experiences that.

But I think that, as you mention, there is like ageism in our society, and people are really critical of women. And I feel like as i've gotten older, I have more figured out who I am. I've feel like i've kind of like come into myself more like.

I feel like I more in my body and more comfortable. I feel more relaxed. I still obviously have many days in moments where I still I still have so much work to do on myself, but I feel more confident in how I look now than I did when I was in my early twenty years. And I think that maybe that just comes with time and age and maybe just doing a lot of therapy and also recognizing like if I go on a date with someone, are in front of someone and they don't make me feel good, they're being mean to me, like that's not someone I want in my life. And so I think learning the importance of like support system in community and surrounding myself with people who are there for me and chAllenge me in ways that healthy and me be Better, I think has been very important.

That's beautiful. I I appreciate you sharing that too because I think that gives women something to like be hopeful for that they can get to that point also because obviously I know in media it's just like when women get older and where is like osha is old now or would like it's just frustrating.

But I remember I wrote like your teammates called you grandma ally at your first olympics, even though you were only eighteen years old, you were the grama of the team. And I think the industry of gymnastics as a whole IT like views your worth basically in its promise, a teenager. And so aging, I think, becomes like a little bit more exasperated in that community and in that field.

How has has that complicated your relationship to aging? Like to be called a grammar at eighteen years old. And like what you couldn't have a legal drink. You could need a car.

I was actually, I was in twenty sixteen and I was twenty two. They called me grama was still twenty two but still it's you know it's funny yeah I think that that is interesting thinking about and I feel like they still joke economy grammar so I think I always maybe felt this pressure to be like a mom figure and I didn't want to let anyone down and I always like wanted to just make sure I was like seeing the right thing and doing the right thing.

But I feel like even at thirty, I feel like i'm twenty two now or how like I wish I felt at twenty two, like I still feel Young and I feel good and I feel like i'm just i'm excited to get older because I feel like the older I get, the more I like figure out my style and what I feel comfortable wearing, what I want to wear like I feel more comfortable in my body as I already mention, I just feel more comfortable speaking up for myself. So I think that IT is something I think about the word sometimes like I can't believe i'm thirty, where I feel like I think societies hopefully changing, where like, thirty doesn't feel so old anymore, but I felt like I was so old when I was Younger, and now I still feel so Young and I have so much of my life. But I don't know it's unna when I hang out out with people who are like in their early twenty years, like depending on who IT is, it's funny just to see like the age difference are like seeing myself in them like it's just interesting.

I feel like with gymnastics I had teammates and friends at like all different stages of lives. So I had some friends who are much children than me, some who are much Younger. And so it's just really cool.

I also feel like age doesn't matter at the same time. Like if I hang out one of my team, it's you like twenty two and i'm thirty like IT doesn't feel like yeah or maybe in a good way. I feel like i'm twenty two with them and we're having the best time together.

So I feel like as I get older, IT doesn't really matter, but we make IT matter so much. But there is so much pressure, like with how we look. And I I like, admire so much the people who are like as they've you got an older like they just have been so honest you're in the public I as women are like what they are experiences because it's hard to share their their experience.

And I also think like you and I were in a time where it's more it's so much more acceptable to talk about things and it's like cool to be vulnerable were like I can imagine, you know, ten, fifteen, twenty years ago being so famous in the things they used to write on the tabloid. And maybe ten years ago isn't even like maybe that maybe it's still is happening today. People are still brutal.

But I just like sometimes when I look back at some of the articles that they used to write about people, it's just horrific. And I can imagine what so many female celebrities have gone through, like the trauma of that. Like I through my life, like my weight has fluctuated.

And people, of course, i've like written mean things online, which is just, it's terrible. But for the women who are like, literally gain a pound and they are like inviting to and they write the nasie things about them is just so mean. And I can even believe that something that is allowed, that people do that is just like, no wonder women feel so much pressure.

You're so right. And I even think when you're saying that about like those tabloids, just like the the aft that had on like more Young women that are sitting at home like looking up to these women and they're like this person is and it's like where this person is so and erect and it's like, how are we writing this on tablet because then if a woman of a Young girl looked at those things was like, but I looked like that.

So when I fatter, M I X, or do I have any need to look whatever IT is, whatever the tablets felt so comfortable to write? I agree with you. I think it's IT.

Is there so much emphasis on women's looks from everything externally? So it's hard as a woman to like, not think, like, oh my god, am I getting older? How do I look? And we all will have a moment where we deal with that. But I love what you're saying.

And IT may be like excited and happy for women if we can look at at this way where you're like, I feel so much Better and I feel so much more myself and I feel the same like people keep asking me like, how do you feel when you know you're going to turn thirty soon? And i'm like, I feel like i'm already thirty. Like, I feel i'm thirty five.

Like, I feel i'm forty. Like I I feel like there's a shift that happened recently for me where I feel so much more sure of myself and I feel so much more like aware of what I want and who I am and what makes me happy. And I look back at my Younger ourself and.

As amazing as I like was, and I want to cheer my cell phone and back then I also like, girl, you had no idea of so many things you allowed certain things to happen to. You wouldn't speak up for yourself. You weren't self Fisher, you weren't confident.

Like there are so many things that like came with experiences and growth. And so it's like when we look at all these Younger women and sure at like face value and like what cause men are like, oh, those eighteen year olds are so hot. Like, okay, but I feel so much Better now than I was at eighteen. And I not to say that eighteen wasn't fun, but like we have more to look forward to as women.

And I think if that is what the narrative can be, more women will celebrate each other, rather than like comparing and freaking out and wondering, like, what do I have to get done or or should I not get anything done? Or how do I look and what do I like? Embrace that? Like aging is a privilege and it's fun and it's like, oh my god, I feel Better than ever and we're both about to be like, yeah, in our thirties like, let's go I feel like this is gonna the best jack yeah yes.

I so excited. I also think when you were Younger, like you did the best that you could and we're all doing the best that we could. So I feel like we're often so hard on ourselves, but like we all did the best that we go with what we knew and what we had at the time.

But I think like to people's questions to do people like how do you feel about turning thirty? Like why can we just feel like congratulations that's so exciting? Like you know, making IT more of a positive because IT is such a privilege to be able to be thirty and to be able to feel good and to be healthy.

And I think you're right. I think there is this like fear that a lot of women have or it's like, oh my gosh, and I still gone to be like attractive as I get older. But like I think it's sexy and attractive and IT should hopefully you to other people like when you're more comfortable in our own like bodies and in our mind and word like that is hard yet exactly IT should .

be more choices like a woman that's like in her forty, fifty, sixty that is like walking around just like confident. Like I want to be here, you can feel IT but again, it's like because she's gone through shit and SHE now like you said, I don't care anymore like you don't care about those little things that just like growing up you do and like your frontal low isn't even developed to like what like twenty three.

So like, yes, i'm excited and I think that you're right. It's instead of saying, like how do you feel about turning thirty? It's like, oh my god, I can just see IT on you. Like this is about to be your best here. Yes, yes, like you just feel .

so like I can just tell you're radiating i'm telling .

me I am telling all it's about to be the best ever. And so every year that we continue to live and getting new experiences like IT just gets Better yeah.

And also like people don't talk enough about when you're in your twin. It's like you're figuring out who you are and like to any person listening in there twice, like I wish I could go back in time and tell myself like you can and you should communicate what you need. And if someone doesn't listen to you like that's on them and there they don't deserve to be in your life if they're not going to be supportive.

So I also want to Normalize that. You know when you're dating and you're twenty is like it's important, it's cool and IT should be like the cool thing to like empower each other to like ask for what you need and be supportive. And if you both realized, like this is not a fit that's also cool, you both will you show you best go on your way.

But like, I want Young girls and women to, whether there you know twenty one or thirty or forty, to like, feel empower, to know that what they want is is allowed and it's okay. And it's important to find people who support that in, like a partner in dating who makes them feel good. And they should also empower their partner to also speak up to.

I just love allies mentality on this entire topic because he feels like a breath of fresh air with her view on turning thirty, like a lot of my friends are turning thirty and they don't all approach IT with such excitement under I.

But I feel like I was able to put into words the beauty of taking the time to figure out who you are and truly getting to know yourself, because working on yourself and discovering who you are does not stop at thirty, if anything, in my opinion, thirty is like a fuck and awakening. okay? Thirty, in my opinion, is right when you really are starting to get a hold of what you want, what makes you happy, who you are, what you value in life.

Like, confidence is a really big word that I like ended IT himself. I could do like forty fucking episodes. confidence. But I think when IT comes to aging and confidence, there are two ways that you can look at IT.

You can look in the mirror and you can go, shit, I have wrinkles now and i'm not as Young as I once was, and I will never look as good as I used to. And I need to do everything I possibly can to stop this, which is allowing, again, aging, to just completely destroy your confidence and own your life. Or you can do the ally approach, which is to look in the mirror and go, damn, look at everything i've accomplished, everything i'm equipped to do, and what an amazing life i've built for myself.

And it's just gonna keep getting Better. And I love that only takes this approach into dating to, oh, my single day ging out there. Like when you get older, you are not going to accept the same shitty treatment from guys at thirty then you would when you were twenty.

Having all of those years of experience means years of recognizing red flags, maybe engaging in some of the toxic and being like, no, no, but you literally couldn't you couldn't trick me into your trap if you fucking tried. I know what toxic looks like and smells like. I'm not fucking interested. I know that red flag i've there before. Like, we go through shit and we learn from our experiences and years of dating will lead you to know what you don't want to a put up with in a relationship, right?

So daddy gang, I I hope hearing from hindy levers and ally, just like I don't know, maybe IT helped shift your perspective on the importance of accepting and embracing getting older like IT is so deeply and grain enough to fear aging and to want to avoids IT and feel the need to put ourselves down and feel like we are not as valuable the older that we get. I think this is especially true if you grow in a household ware. Maybe your mom was always picking herself apart, maybe making like very negative comments about her body and her wrinkles, like not liking the way that he looked in the mere like IT is really hard to break out of that way of thinking.

And if it's not coming from your households, you're definitely seeing in on social media every single post these days feels like it's like by this, put this on your face, like sleep with this thing on your head and like, get this procedure and here's a ten step program of how to basically not look like yourself. IT is everywhere, and IT is all too much. Life goes by so fast, I don't want to spending the majority of IT feeling insecure and dreading, if not the most beautiful aspect of life, which is getting older, having more life experiences, having more time with friends and family and holidays and all of IT.

We just get to experience more. I hope when i'm forty, I look back at turning thirty and think, wow, I had so many amazing things ahead. I didn't even know how good IT was gona get, and that's how I feel.

Now looking back at my twins, I also know there is a lot of women listening today. And we could be a completely different points in life, right? You may be listening and you may have three children, or you may be listening and you are currently single.

I want to make sure it's clear, like this specific conversation i'm having today with you guys does not revolve around the specificity of your relationship status, your dating life, your homelife. That's not what this is about. It's a mindset. The point is, after listening to this episode, I hope that you can completely change your view to reject anti aging culture, reject the negativity uc online, reject the ads and the constant fiction on the external things, and choose to focus on being happy and being present and living life the way that you want to and not allowing yourself to feel defeated every single year that you get older. But instead, which i'm trying to do now, is feel so grateful and excited to get to know yourself a little bit more every single year.

So daddy, again, I love you um you sexy, beautiful, spicy little bitches cheers to getting older and to being alive like I think that IT sounds so crazy, but it's like when I see these things on social media of people like judging someone for getting older and like pitch, you would be so blessed, you would be so blasts if you're looking at, look at the way we look at our moms and our grandmothers, like, I SAT with math grandmother the other day, and she's one hundred years old. In december, he will be one hundred and one years old. And the way that he talks about her life is so fucking inspiring.

And he has that thing that I admire so much when I was talking about heighty like that confidence of, just like I fucking love my life and I love my family, and i'm just so grateful to be here and not letting these little things like make you feel you're in a cage and you're uncomfortable and you want to get out of your body like own IT and have a good time because we're if I can hear once and I know it's corny to say, but like, I think we've got to miss that sometimes I think we we're on social media all day. We're like writing these things out to look. I need to get this that you don't need to do anything that you don't want want to do.

And so next time that you're feeling and secure, pause and go touch some fucking on grass because I have been doing that lately and actually really fucked and helps. Okay, I love you, daddy ging. I hope this episode was what you needed to hear this week. I will see you fuckers next one's day.