Chelsea Handler: Getting High as Fuck (FBF)
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What is that daddy game? IT is your founding father, alex Cooper, with call. I haven't smoked so long.

I always think edibles .

you Better.

I'm going to together.

I Carry this .

interview for you.

I'm going to be fine. Okay, we only one later. So don't og get I guess we can just will just start fuck at my Davis .

Chelsea hailer joy, Chelsea joy heller and I bet Alexander joy Cooper's house and we recorded her who's your daddy, the color daddy, color daddy podcast and we're smoking because the last time I saw you, you were bitching at me about hating you the first time I met you. Not true. And this 一个 粉丝。

So I came over to your ridiculous house that had no parking and that was so and again today, no parking. So I went over to this house that you said, don't worry, this isn't my house like, I care and then I you tailed me to lie down on a couch like I was about to get examined by a gna ologies. And so I had to put my feet up like a little girl in nursery school and sit there and be interviewed.

And I was like, who is this person? Because my P, R team was like, you have to go to alexAndrea Coopers. Pcs, she's the right thing.

SHE got some ridiculous deal, and you have to go to an interview with her. I go, sure, no problem. And then the whole time you're like, do you hate me?

哦。

OK first is so annoying when people say .

that like that.

All people say to me is.

do you hate? Because just to be fair, i'm a big fan. I was so nervous.

I was hitting my, oh, thanks. I the rules of switch. Okay, question.

where did you part today? I well, funny you say that because I was driving myself today, because what's raining and I don't trust anyone to drive in the rain, even my driver, i'm like, list body. I actually think it's fun to drive in the rain in ali because everybody's such an idiot posts.

And I like, I like the rain. So I tried to park on the street. And then there we're about forty thousand signs that we're deterring me from doing that. And then I saw alec, my publicist, and I said, can SHE please open the fucking gate to her garage or driveway so I can park in the driveway and then h, it's not open and I go.

so did you park in the in driveway so you have a fuck in parking spot?

Yeah well, that's chemical for a guest when you invite them over, you know, is to provide parking.

I'm going to tell you the truth of what happened.

I would like going like this. I already to bring I D like .

like a habit, something like this thought time. We're like, okay, listen to this. Last time we reported, which almost a year and a it's okay how you are on.

You do that to me on europe. Pod cats, you were just coffee, my face. And then I got covered after I H.

I just got cover too. You gave its me. No, I got that on Christmas. Oh, I had the flu. I was getting over the monkey parks.

and I had monkey parks.

and, well, a couple of other things.

Okay, listen to my side of the story. I'm sitting waiting for you.

sitting my pants. I hate this. I hate that.

You would feel that way. I would just know. I knew Chelsea bug heller.

so it's like one of my first big interviews. And so i'm sitting there and all of a sudden my assistant at the time is like Chelsea handlers there and i'm waiting for you to pull into the fucking and driveway because I had a driveway and I moved my fucking car for you.

But I don't add like I had a driveway. Like I have a drive way that's so cool.

I am so privilege. I have a drive way. I fuck you.

So then I walk out. And at the time, none of my team could be there. So I was all virtual. I walk out and i'm looking for Chelsea. And Chelsea is nowhere to be fuck and found.

And can you call Chelsea like have her team color? Like he is not in front of my house, your high, as was three houses down, parked in front of another pocket house. I walked up .

to Chelsea's car also. Everyone, oh yeah, everybody, I just you .

everyone pictures this. You're want to meet Chelsea handler for the first time and have run your show like, i'm all of you watching shading my pants and I find this woman in a car and like, is that her car? I go to the window when I know .

was IT a super rule out pang.

and you open the door and I just get hit with a bunch of just like absolute paraphrase and like you like, hey, we're I am I like I am Alice. So nice to be. I think you thought I was the assistant.

You're like, i'm going. Why so big? And then we went in, and then I wanted to make you cozy, but you are fuck and draft and you were slot.

You were like, like that. Now I was, yeah, we need to saw that all went well. And I went, well, yeah, but I did ask you if you knew who I was, you even know where you were.

I didn't know where I was. You think I knew who you were, but I know who you are now. And it's very makes me very uncomfortable when you talk about me in that way in that regard because just makes I become a shy.

But i'm glad that we're friends now and I respect you. I want you to know that and i'm really like impressed with everything that you've done. So now that you have my attention, we can have a more prosperous interview.

Total wrong use of prosperous. What am I like? I working at.

Like, we ve got a pross. Like, we've yielded prosperous grains. This is harvest thing. That's what I almost sounded like.

I, I really appreciate your attempt to integrate word prosperous. yeah. Yes, I know that ms. Word than me. So what does .

that mean now?

You know like like yourself, i'll give we did your podcast the other week that ah that was fun. That was really fun. And now we're here.

Congrats on your new net lex dock not dock special. It's a stand of special. I know it's a special. I said doc right now he.

hi, I am a doctor, first of all, and you shouldn't that and all your viewer, viewers and listeners should also know that I am a doctor. I am a farm to table geneology st. And I perform all sorts of um I can do so many things medically.

I prescribe medication, drugs. I've injected about four or five. And my friends with olympic because I realized I don't want to use IT because it's silly.

Like for heavy people. I had people coming over to my house. I was like, okay, I can see you at one. I can see you too.

Can you feel out of people in a lay that are used?

Every is on peg going to back fire, something bad. It's going to be a miracle. It's too good to be true. You can just make people who've struggled with their weight, their entire lives thin.

It's a miracle you had fucked up though, as I have someone in my life that needs IT metics and it's completely sold out.

How to come over to my house on ject or tomorrow? What time did he free? I can you at your house? I have a sema glue tide.

Well, so my doctor, my anti aging doctor, just hands IT out to anybody, right? And obviously now I can't say her name, but SHE, I didn't even know I was on IT I went to dinner or I went SHE said, oh, if you ever want to drop because I said, if he goes, if you everyone to drop five pounds, this is good and I came back from a vacation and I injected myself with IT and I went to lunch with, like, a girlfriend a few days later and she's like, i'm not really eating anything. I'm so naughty.

A someone is empty and I was like, i'm kind of nauseous ous too. But I had come back from spain. I thought I was jet like, I had been gone for like a month and wait privilege and I was and I was like, oh, i'm laughest too and then i'm like, but i'm not as on oei c and she's like, are you sure and i'm like, what is IT I go amon sema glue tide and SHE goes that with you .

look fucking great no.

i'm not on IT anymore. I am taking that too irresponsible. I'm any responsible drug user but i'm not going to take a diabetic drug for like I I tried IT yeah and i'm not to do that no, I don't.

That's not for me. That's not right. This is just we're .

starting essentially the episode just like disco lammers. I'm on IT right now. You're not if a conductor no.

i'm not a doctor.

but go to Chelsea house if you want to .

get on a team yeah make an appointment with without ander.

Okay, so your netflix .

special revolution.

revolution. What is the joke that people are loving the most?

I think my brother, my brother, telling me that he had to have.

So I said, what to my brother, why are you even a father? You know, you're not very good at IT and my brother's turned into quite an asso as he's got an older and he was like, truste have to think about I had to think about my legacy like you're you're like who's behind you ever him lincoln, what are you talking about? Your you're legs you think people are thinking about what going on with you after you're dead? I'm like no fucking in way, but no one's thinking about what you're going to leave behind except for you. You know I like your legacy is that you're my fucking .

brother when I saw that clip, let me be so clear. I clipped IT and send IT to my fucking and brother how do you fucker for I don't my whole family? yes. Like it's a good one ing.

Well, thank you so much. I was a really fun special issue like I love IT it's very hard for me to watch myself in anything and when I saw I was like, this is great like I was like, yeah worked out you know um even when you're confident you're insecure, you know it's know it's all one big hot mess all the time you look I was confident yesterday what happened but yeah was fun to do that because my brother had seen my sad I was running IT for like a hundred shoes and so my family had seen me and at various times and my brother's like, oh, you sure do a lot of material about Simon with the sun in the moon.

And I looked at him and I go, would you like me to do some material about you? No problem. So then I CoOperate with that.

Look, that must be so terrifying to be related to someone that does stand up comedy because it's like you're you're at the cross fire and you're just like, just wait for your turn like I I would be terrible. I'm sure my siblings are terrible that I talk about them on the show, but I don't. But like, if you want me to, I will. And then I can't promise, obviously.

what's going to happen. I've made a lot of mistakes doing that, like talking about people without their permission. yeah. And I think that would be a good piece of advice actually for you ever think about that because I definitely like if I didn't think IT was a big deal for somebody, I just assumed that IT wasn't a big deal. And like some people are really sensitive.

Can you give us an example?

Oh god, there are so many. I mean, where i've just kind of told someone the truth that couldn't handle the truth and not in a mean spirit way like I want to be honest with you because you're a woman and I want to be honest and loyal to women. And i'll always tell you the truth.

I've never gona lie to you and people don't like that. And then it's impressive and I I know I owe IT. I is impressive. It's like not welcoming. You know you have to watch yourself .

a little bit more yeah I mean.

just be a little bit more mindful ll just in a nice way. Like not to be a con, you know. I mean, like i'm a on and I have to sometimes I remember that other people are not like me.

They are very sensitive to criticism or even like no, and it's an invasion of their privacy. My family has no choice. I mean, they just don't have a choice like they understand i'm gonna abuse you, but i'm going to call you out. I'm never going to lie. I mean, they say I about everything the wrong, but i've cross that line before, of course, with my family members and I don't cross that line where it's mean spirit.

I'd get, okay, fair. Your x directed the special and he did IT while you guys were dating. Then you guys broke up and the special came out. How has the break up affected the way that you feel about your special oh.

I like sweet. You know, it's sweet. It's like one of my favorite moments of my career and I i'd got to share IT with somebody thought I was like, you know, madly in love with its super sweet. It's probably the swede's thing that i've ever done like in turn i'm not a very sweet like you know romantic person. I mean, i'm you know sweet.

but why did you guys break up?

Well, I just don't want to really comment on IT any further because IT turns into a headline and i'm not promoting a break up from six months ago. Like, you know what I mean, i'm here to talk about all the other things i'm doing and I understand people are interested, but it's just like it's run it's running out of gas.

I got I I respect that answer.

So you're single now I am. How is that going?

Not fun. I have a listen. I have I have like a really enjoyable relationship with myself for the last few years when i've realized like the importance of actually spending time alone without tons of people around. I've actually meaningfully spent time by myself to see what was up with myself, right? And i've really, genuinely enjoy getting to know me. And I have a lot of respect for that time where you are out of a relationship or right before you're going into a relationship to really be mindful of that time and the space that you have so that you can show up and like a really good way for any relationship you're in and to know when to take a time out. A lot of people don't seem to know that it's time to take a break.

is not so that I feel like that period everyone has that moment of like, oh my god, I hung out with myself for so long and I actually, for the first time, fuck and enjoy IT and I got to know myself and I was like, oh, this this is an maybe I don't need to be in a relationship to feel fulfill I feel like everyone goes through a purity of their time where they're like, i'm so comfortable with myself. I don't even want anyone unless they're like, great to add on to my life.

yes. Well, I think you have to always set your standards where that you want people to meet them like if you don't have any self respect, which so many people seem to suffer from, like, you know, what do you think you're attracting other people who are going to disrespect to you? Like when you think highly of yourself, you attract a higher vibe.

But that's just the way IT is. And like it's Better to have a high vive. Like i've been low vive. I know what that's like and it's infective or like infectious. No, it's infective.

My vocabulary .

is everything and it's just for.

okay.

infective is what I meant to say. And yes, so it's like it's good to just like get to know yourself like I went I remember go on a whistle. I bought the ski show on face time because I was scared, Donald trump, he was going to get reelected.

And I went to whistle. I got in a canada. They were so strict with a quarantine because they wanted.

They think americans are disgusting and they don't want us there. So I got to work VISA. I got everything so that I could go to canada and ski, like all I cared about.

I flew my dogs and I, there we get there we get down. We land in canada and we land. I had charted a private plane.

I can tell the story actually, because, oh, it's illegal. You can air all of this, but i'm not going to continue the story. What happened was illegal, okay? And that was because of me.

This is the best fuck. This is so classic.

This is, you know, what happens? So I gets to the airport, and this guy is like, oh, they're turning planes around at canada, I mean, at in vancouver and we could get turned around and go, well, who who are you? And he was like, I thought he was a customs agent, and he added me on the phone with customs I was talking them about my work permit like i've did everything by the book I hired like an immigration person like this is going to get me in, what's your problem and the guy was like, I don't think we're going to get in.

I don't think we're going to get in and and then finally, I realized he was the pilot. So I had been listening to this fuck in pilot telling me that I had to call this person and this person and show me my paperwork. And I go, wait, what are you? You're the pilot.

Why do you have you have no jurisdiction over what's about to happen right now, just like you're flying the plane. Let's go and he was like, I can't we can't go up there and I go look at me. I need to get to vancouver.

You're going to fly this plane to vancouver and if we get turned around at the border, and that's on me and then unfortunately, I have to fly all the way back with you. So I promise you, I am going to a get into flock and vancouver. And then we got there and the customer skies came on the plane and they were like, welcome Chelsea, we missed you yeah.

And you got an easy.

oh my god, yeah. Because account is awesome and they know that I the I support them. They just want to get along with everyone.

So you left out the illegal part.

yeah.

Okay, good. You know, what's really interesting is when you said I can.

but I really want to tell the story I wanted hear. So it's very I am having a difficult moment right now because it's such a good story.

but I can.

This is what I mean about getting people in trouble. You know, I mean, I can do .

and I you but like if you want to do IT, no, we don't want to do IT. You can tell me after .

I need something.

Is this my train? Yeah, yeah. Pour your water. No, it's interest. Water, your water in your glass.

I, so I got a nurse first.

I pour your water. It's interesting when you just said that about like, oh, I can't tell the story you were saying like, I charter a private jet and you said, no, I can tell the story I thought because because you're like a successful woman and I guess we just always get you on you are going to say I can't tell IT because it's coming off is too like privilege reddish .

not going to lie I did you mean, yeah, I do try our private plans not all the time but ah i'd love to fly privately all the time like the I mean.

now a little, are you high?

Yes, very high, very stone. I'm trying to folk and discussions with you. It's a very dangerous territory because you're like you think you can you think you can get in there are I like I can to see what you're doing and I like, no bitch.

I saw your face when I asked you about the relationship and immediately your demand went from like, i'm just alt, alex is house too well, you were like, fuck. I don't want to talk about this. I had to ask, I wouldn't .

be doing that. We're having such a good time. Why bring something like that up?

You know what I mean, it's great is the people know .

obviously going to have to fuck somebody else pretty quickly to get on everybody to move on to the next conversation.

You do. Do you have a pattern with this paced c field that they're usually in?

Oh, everything. I mean, i've dated every, I have dated the most random people. There is no type. I've look at the people that I dated there, none of them have anything in common and I look at them all and i'm just like, you know, what's the connection .

and you having found IT? No.

I have A I don't know. What do you think IT is?

I feel you're very like at the moment you maybe you're looking for something and you need IT and you go into IT with that person and then you leave in you like I didn't fuck and need that and then you meet some very different like maybe this is what I need, but you you need sweet.

yeah. Thank you. Let me okay, can you write that out in my note section? Do you have my notes section? Why was out? You're all you need and then put IT in quotes and then write color daddy.

I think that's the worst advice I ever gave. Yeah that was that was fucked and stupid. Yeah okay, let's talk about settling.

You're single. We all have a friend who is either settled and when I go, well, fuck that. That sucks or they're on the path to settling because they d rather be in a city relationship than no relationship. What advice you give to women who feel like being in a bad relationship is Better than being alone?

Oh, I don't know. That's a really hard for me to even understand. I think that's how could you be doing that? Let's like you don't have any self respect and you could be so much happier I got so desperate yeah it's like .

they they need to get on the path to be uncomfortable being alone because then you'll see like just don't .

settle for anything, like why you don't have to settle for anything. You have to raise your game and then everything meets you where you are. You I I mean, people think about things ending or like I don't know, like break ubs and stuff.

Like it's always a good opportunity. Everything is a good opportunity, the good experiences and the painful ones. And if you didn't have painful experiences, you'd be really fucking boring. The only reads differences. Now everyone shares every experience, you know.

So that used to be different, like most people wouldn't be like talking like guy talk and be open, but i've always been open because i'm not trying to hide anything. Know if i'm doing like I talk about whatever what's going on with me. If i'm in to therapy, I talk about that of into drugs, I talk about that off and into rappers.

I talk about that. You know, like i'm not, there's no mistake. I'm not trying to, like, keep anything away.

You should go back to some rappers.

I know, I sure I mean there for a good rapper. That would be fun. You know, let's line IT up.

You are due for a good rapper. I mean, fifty was like iconic so I feel like going one person I could top him. It's like low ae.

you see that happening me in little rain. That's funny or .

what about? Like, I don't know.

Yeah what am I am? I think I need to go somewhere. Haven't been before. Where have been back in adventure? You know, have you ever .

dated a doctor?

No, what I would love that.

Yeah, I would love that for you. Thank you. What about the pilot? Was he single?

You think I was interested in him after the way he behaves at the airport.

But you know, when sometimes you fight, and then you realized .

that i'm not trying to fight.

you were the girl picking on the kids in my class.

the cute guy. I want to know about your relationship with your boyfriend. Yeah, I do. Who's interviewing you?

I interviewing you.

What's the dynamic ic there? Because I have to tell something when I saw you at the ampho event, yeah, I was surprised to see that you had a long term boyfriend like I kind of judged you in a way, not in a bad way. I just judged the type of person that wouldn't be in a long term relationship. Why I don't know. Get to the i'm just now asking myself that very question because I was I was like, oh yeah, I mean.

what does he do? He produces movies, and he knew your .

friend as who gave .

us the mushrooms. We are really nice. Galea and Chelsea and her friend were insulting and offered my boyfriend and I some chocolate mushroom.

which I highly recommend .

for any galley. I, I really love that free because I was like, like, i've never done mushrooms. I've never done mushroom.

I don't think that empower is the first place and tells them so i'm going and that you know you're fucking in the hosting she's going up and partly like he was like giving a full speech two seconds later after issues on fucked in mushrooms. Chelsea y's on stage I am parking like, hello everyone, i'm like I wouldn't be into buck in whole cradling myself. Well, I got to try mushroom.

Yeah, I know what you're pretty amped up to begin with.

so I don't know.

But yeah, maybe because you would be like you would be able to shut .

the fuck up on well, also, i'm having to interview you when i'm I am usually silent, but i'm having like really i'm forcing myself .

to be do you think it's more fun to be high and social? I mean, I love to be high alone too, but I like being high and social.

I don't know. I think i'm really more of high alone.

I'm more what do you do? Like do you play games or something? Or like, are you playing fortnight.

playing like x box and with my boy now.

are you on a on a tory or do you play a tory?

What the fuck is that? No, I buy myself watching like a movie like.

no, yeah, yeah. That's I mean, that's me every night.

Maybe I ever do mushrooms I do with you, then you probably .

never be my first. Let's not that.

Okay, okay, moving on. Why do you think you're so Normal?

Because I like Normal. It's more interesting. I think Normal is very interesting because nobody is really Normal.

I mean, nobody y's really boring. Everybody has something going on now. I mean, some people are really annoying.

And so it's hard to figure out what that something is or you know you don't have the patients to deep and deal with finding out. But everybody has something to say. And like people's past and their childhoods, like I find everybody to be pretty interesting. I agree, like I could talk to anyone and just interview them all day long.

I saying I do like that about you that I feel like you're like somehow living a seeing ly Normal life and my, you're pretty potkin famous. Well, I mean.

i'm flying privately with my dogs to to canada to house I bought on face time. And so like obviously, it's not that Normal. I'd like to have things outside of just my professional career.

It's taken over a lot of my life for a lot of many years, and I really needed this time out also to be like, by myself. And now i'm ready to rumble again, like, and when i'm in the mood to work, then everything works is easy, you know. So I had to really arrive at the moment where I got IT back and i'm hungry and I have ambition, because for a couple years i've really did not give a shit. I was like, i'm just going to go to spain and hang out of my, you know.

other house that we have to edit .

out have got to add IT know, do you know.

hope that lots goes back to when I was saying, like older private e, do you know how few people are? Have self like yourself made? You've come up. You've made IT on your own self made.

My father was a used car deal.

No, like you, your god. So you don't mean, like, I think you have the right. I'm kind of a sick of people being passed when people .

I don't don't lie or pretend you're not I never say anybody's name that I could think of some wealth familiar no, I just have a really nice life. Yeah i'm not like, you know and you're going to hide IT. No and and i'm in love with elon must okay, let's talk about that. That's the most fun thing that happened. That's your next I can't stand you on my that's your next guy.

Would you ever going to date with that man?

No, what does this come out?

W.

very first. okay. So i'm about to host the daily show. I'll be about to host the daily show. I out specifically asked the E P of the daily show if we could roast elon musk physically. And my key is such an assets that we were allowed to actually let go after like looks okay because he's saw like repugnant of a person.

you know I mean yeah ah and what they say now no.

this though like let's go for oh.

that's nice. Okay, this will be fun for you. What are high?

I think I just ask on that chair. It's fine. Oh.

it's I did. We're moving offices.

I like, would you mind grabbing me some little? Pm, I have feel like i'm about to swallow my tongue.

That's why I was so I think i've now been just talking .

you like there I like the way that you twitch around while you're talking. You're like.

I can't .

like start talking. I don't know if you're mimicking what i'm saying. Are you saying yeah, you have a tich .

do i'm trying to get cozy these chairs when I wear this is.

by the way, this is a great way of room at all. This is a great episode. This vive. Yeah, we to once a year.

one year. So listen to on your show. We did like, let's answer some questions. I've figured I could give you some topics and I want to hear you're take on them.

OK that's fine, right? Yes, I know will say.

okay, what does your take on posting your significant other .

on social media?

Looks like, no.

I I like doing that. I've never done that of force. And that was fun for me. IT was funny, like I knew I am knowing IT was, but like, I I liked IT. IT was IT because i've never been public like that and I felt that way.

And you know, yes, so why not? IT was kind of cute. IT was like very unexpected .

well and it's a sincere because i'm not you know full of shit. I mean, if i'm doing that.

I mean that what do you think about when people get nervous at their partner, won't post them on social .

media like that's doing anything that you're arguing about with social media is annoying .

and statement yeah absolutely.

I also yeah .

put that in my notes, Chelsea heller.

And and then what was the problem came up with earlier? You you only know what you can do.

IT was like you, you only know what you can do. I said, you only know. No, I said you, I am three. You're all you need.

You're all you need. That's the title of this time. You're you, you sweet.

I didn't say sweet. And you get nervous .

when people come over to your house and you have to introduce that was aside for me like.

are you um no, I don't know why. I don't know what wrong with me, but nothing and me gets like nervous. I get the only nervous I got is to make sure that I like do a good job and I give my audience like an entertaining episode. Obviously, if i'm having to talk about some like serious shit, I actually get off on that and like, let's go like .

my break up.

Yeah so why the fuck do you know you were? Like, please stop. Yeah was excited. But then i'm swording right.

I'm being respectful. Yeah, yeah.

right yeah yeah. But like.

if you want to give undertone, the fuck is going on over there. Yeah my god. My are you what's happening?

Ah yeah, that looks and nice. That's a nice color. What is that? I don't know. I don't think you just aid IT.

I did. I swallowed IT. Okay, you're take how you put lipstick n you didn't know that that you just putting about.

Okay, what are your thoughts on igniting friendships with people you've had to fall outwit? Oh.

that's a good one for me because I have a lot of friendship endings. And like, yeah, I go always go from people like I go from group to group to group. And I do that a lot, reigniting yeah, with the right people for sure.

Yeah, because you do grow up. And like whatever you thought, thought about or disagreed about, you mostly forget about, and then you're just like hanging onto the energy. So I definitely believe in recognising do you see? I mean, I keep the I say every time I say, say, I stop IT every time I missing a word, I look into the camera. It's been like multiple, I know and it's so not me because i'm so like vocabulary, like I read everything and I care about fucked and .

word yeah try to convince us now but it's not i'm really smart guys. We can tell why do you think your bopping from front group to front group?

What does that mean? Oh, I mean, I i've got that my whole life, but i've been multiple friends group, not front group to front group, just having relationships and got IT you know and not being. I don't think that's bad, such a bad thing either.

You know like people move on and people grow apart. Some people grow, grow back together. But I don't think french like like I think it's an evolution.

Everyone has their own. And if you're not on the right kind of frequency, you're not I don't know. I just think people are like fantasies and like their romantic. Know me.

in your act, people want to see something play out.

Yeah, I think. And people are really, you know, one of the cutest things was like, people would come up to me like screaming for us on the street like, oh my god, you've renewed. I like my faith, love, love. And I believe i'll be in love now and I believe that everyone has a person I was like, I believe IT too. Yeah I mean, if I film love like that, like mean.

then anybody can do, do you think .

now that i'm open, i'm like i'm in bloom, just like lots with i'm having elon musk baby. I'm actually having chip lets.

What are you're take on when people post crying videos on the internet?

Well, I mean, I think when I first started happening, I was interesting, but now it's like too much, right? I don't like the internet.

I'm scared of. I'm like.

I just don't I just IT feels like a black mirror. Yeah you know, I just feel like we're living through black mirror. And at any moment the world is going to implode because people are just fucking crazy.

Everyone's crazy. Everyone's looked up to a device. things. People aren't Normal after the pandemic is just the worlds on fire.

I mean, I don't mean to be a debby downer, but we are about to blow up. Not look and good, this is not great. Better to be in a good mood about IT.

I guess. Like, go down, Sally. Yeah, right down.

Like living in the right down.

Don't live in and write down. Go down, smiling.

Yeah, right below. Don't live in fear. We should come out with our own dictionary.

praises the quotes that we're viewing. This episode are .

gonna really hard for me .

to come back from football.

I know not to what I that I wrote these being like.

We're going to be. This is like the ussel no, I was think I was writing to take on that can be upper section like where black here we're really gonna e everything is falling apart.

Well, that's a real fan topic, by the way. So thanks for bringing that up. No, i'm doing up dry and you, yeah, it's serious.

Ly, you want like a harbour wednesday? I mean, I just fuck in too. Are you doing by january, right? january? No, i'm not drinking because I most in the critic choice awards, but this will air after that.

We, why are you drinking before that?

Like, great.

Yeah, it's more for the looks. Yeah, no. For the bill? no. yeah. I tried that. I last in four days, then my boyfriend and other night I was like, have a fucker.

It's so fun to drink. Don't overdo IT so you don't ever have to give IT away, you know, just don't ever overdo IT so you don't have to stop doing IT. One of my boyfriends wants to say that to me.

that's a great bit of advice. Yeah, i'll keep that one. What is your opinion on adult to go to disney world with their partner and like they don't have kids?

Definitely against IT. That's so stupid. I don't understand.

When I was insulted as a child going to disney world, I was like, six years old and I was like, oh, really, i'm supposed to believe that there's a much of grown mice running around trying to take photos with us that are also in a good mood. Fuck you. I thought disney was a shame.

When I was six years old, I went off on my father as I got to want to come back to this place. I like, it's a joke. I like, this is like valentine's day.

I mean, I couldn't believe, and they don't have alcohol there. Even at six, I was looking for a cocktail. I was like, I can't survive this place without a drink.

I love this answer. Also my next question, who is going to take on valentine? I think we cover that one.

Oh my god, you can ask that, asking that question of people.

what do you think about valentine's? Say, how many people love IT?

You can be asking that.

what if I was sitting here? How about this? What if I was like, oh, wow, Charles c, like, I really like disney world, and I also really like valentine's day.

I wouldn't give a shirt.

You just be like, get five consuls. yeah.

I'll stop talking about IT, please. I don't. It's like people we're talking about birding man, I don't like to hear about that there.

Oh my god, you ever go to go china?

I went once, but I wasn't there. I just with the eyes off. So I was like backstage. I didn't go .

another relative moment. Yes, yeah, I feel do that just is awful. Burning me. Have you ever been to burning me?

No, i'm not down with that. I don't want to sand blowing in my face, one tripping on whatever drag on on. I watch a sand. You have to wear like a gas mask and all think it's so ridiculous. I mean, if people show me pictures and I just, I I just seems like some place you go to have an affair, right? And then then, like have communal living or something, that's what my time release.

Okay, when I was brain.

have you ever .

been a Better man? Absolutely not things like that contain like that's not a concert. I'm terrified of concert.

I can. I just want to do IT. Yeah.

I feel, I mean, i'm not terrified, but I prefer not to.

If I was a little aggressive, I just would prefer a not I wanted a sign. What would you? What would you feel if you saw something get proposed to in the middle of disney world?

Do I love that? I have to tell you that I will never go to this, that world. Do you ask me? The next question is, when i'm there, what i'll do if someone is proposed to I like proposals, I think that sweet, like I do. I think that sweet like, I mean, in dizygotic visibly, that's ridiculous. But whatever I don't care enough about any of .

that you would, you be upset as someone proposed you at is the world.

but nobody would do that, right? And you would. 你们 go， no, I wlink. They're trying to propose to think but I refused to go to zzz and so they can propose oh .

my god so you're okay with public proposals.

Well, not for me. I mean, I don't want that but make now. But yeah, if you want a lot of people like that stuff, really yeah, really yeah the same girls that wants to talk about valentine's .

day wanted to get publicly proposed to.

well, not everyone wants publicly, but everyone like, I mean, not everyone, but most women want to be proposed to, oh yeah.

yeah.

I in public.

you right now at a sporting, then I would say, no, no, even if there were the love of my life.

No, definitely not.

yeah. solution. How do you feel about shower sacks?

Oh, no. Not into that me either.

Last time I did, I got yeast infection .

of yeast infections are the worst.

Okay.

what you think about nepotism babies, I couldn't give a shit about that for everyone is so bored like obviously, if your parents are both actors, you're probably going to be an actor is so stupid?

被 is me off so much？ Like.

why do you care? I had every industry that like anyone with, yeah, sorry.

I interview you. No, no, I interpreted you. I wanted you to keep going. You're being funny.

I don't have much. Oh, I mean, it's just ridiculous. Like obviously, you know, if you're both fucking wrappers, you're probably going to be a rapper. I mean, it's just unbelievable that people are so bored and that that this is a topic of conversation.

It's so lame. I agree. Like when you and elan have children.

it's not elton. Our first babies is going to be called alton. okay?

You want in Chelsea with little elton, obviously alton's gonna swing in the big black platinum card.

yeah. Well, by then we won't even use credit cards. E lot will figure first. It's it's going to be a late. It's going to be a middle dle life to elderly pregNancy.

Could i'm forty seven, so the baby might take a little bit longer to cook. So let's give you like a three year window. I'm not really good at cooking anyway. So i'm sure mine will be a little .

bit of I think scientifically that just actually MIT actually quite a lot of sense.

What my question is, is this why believe anything.

we're same? I don't I don't know even what i'm saying. I think neptunian babies, you're so right. What do we want them to do?

I've been seen right? Verify right. Really.

what are your thoughts and kids sitting in first class .

if they're not annoying, that's fine. Yeah but parents paying for their kids to fly first? yeah. I mean, I would put my kids in.

coach me to middle seat mother fucker.

I say, i'd say that now, but maybe I .

wouldn't be find on the P.

G. I. Yeah, yeah, they're just not coming. They're, you'll send them to disney. Yeah, they got to dissing every.

every other weekend. How do you what kind of traveller are you like? Are you an anxious traveler like we are the airport? What's i'm kind of fixed?

No, I am not anxious. You're not not at all. Traveling is ever relaxed. actually. I love IT really like being on planes.

I mean, you know, I don't like being go to the airport, but I like being on planes. And I like reading. I read lots of books when on on plains. I'd never can get on the wifi, so I don't have to worry about being involved in any of that. So i'm like away for four hours.

And I like either watch something or I read IT like the other day I was flying somewhere, philadelphia, the vancouver, and I read an entire book, this book called the great alone by Christian hanna, and at like six hundred pages, and I read IT in one flight and I was like, fuck yeah and then I had another book the next stage, because I was like, oh ah I want to read another book because you forget how great reading is so good, like it's just so good to be lost in a book that has nothing to do with anything you'll ever experience in your entire life. And you get smart every time you read a book. You get smarter like you understand another world or you have a glimmer into that.

Back to airport. Sorry, I am, was working back. What is the biggest since someone can commit on an area?

I have a bear foot on there, so a bear feet, disgusting and IT should be illegal. And I want to make a video for all airlines because it's like, it's not fair people. My dms are filled with bare feet on planes.

People send them to me like thirty people a days, and me a bear foot on a plane, a one, an airport, or on a train or on a bus. One fly attended dmv and told me that a guy brought muscles onto a plane and he had the shells, and he put them in a plastic bag. He was eating muscles and a plane with next to a person, like there are rules that needs to be set out loud.

And I found out Catherine, you met her. She's my cohoes on my podcast here, Chelsea Catherine, who I loved until SHE, revealed that SHE travels to the airport with a dozen hardboiled eggs and is a bl log bag. I almost stabbed myself in the vagina.

I could not believe her. And I looked at her and then I looked at her husband and said, what do you have to say for yourself? She's with you and you didn't say anything about this.

He's like, SHE loves eggs. And I was like, hey guys, you can do that ever again. You can put ten, twelve egg. You can have any hard boiled eggs when you get on the plane, eat them. If you like them so much, you can bring us on a plane. And he was someone who would also have seen someone with a bear foot and been like, gross, so SHE still work with you.

Yeah.

she's so works with me, but it's caused the kosa IT .

hasn't been the same sense. Well.

I just have to keep an eye on her now, because I don't know what other china again, she's up to that he thinks in school.

I think that is cardinal son.

It's pretty. Yeah, I say the work again. I can I can see IT.

We're going to say vote no. IT was a bee? no. And IT wasn't vagina?

No, no, not there. Other words besides volatile and vagina that start with the v Virginia.

Okay, listen, either we celebrate my brain. How about this?

Ready for this one?

Yes, ready. You're known for being very honest. What's the hardest thing?

You've had to tell someone, oh god, all the time.

but like a hard one where you actually strugling a little bit like clenched and then released before just releasing.

I mean, nothing that made me like clench. It's never that hard. I mean, they've been harder or ones, but nothing where I think i've put off that I was like going d rather hope that this disappear. So I don't have to address this like and does.

And that is IT usually include you or you just like a bystander witnessing for IT, like a front of .

family member both both yeah, if it's about someone else, I have tend to be a little bit more hot really about the defense that person yeah I supposed to be being about .

you yeah like i'll put .

up with a little bit more than i'll let my friends put up with. I think, oh.

maybe we'll be friends one day. I need someone to stop threatening .

our friendship. You know what? You've been like this every I like, but we are friends. We are, yeah, we're friends now I just want to do to say, but stop fucking threatning IT. It's so annoying, I want you to defend them now we're .

in a french ship. I can flow. Yeah, I get nervous, exciting. Okay, listen to this one. I just saying that to vy was all time because I cry. Okay.

I was with jaf er hudson at the talk show and he was like they were had the blue cards right behind my shoulder and IT was so funny because I remember he reminded me of doing a talk show like I did j leno the first time and he was like talking to me like I was that lap behind you and he was like, yes, so would you do for this summer a break and you're like.

hello at least I making eye contact right? Yeah well.

people are much Better interviewers .

yeah but back in the day I like Chelsea. How are you doing? You like, i'm over here. What personality type compliments yours? A bath.

strong and confident.

Good answer. What's an security you've doubt .

with someone checking my phone?

Can I tell you if I can? Story.

yeah. When we .

were doing your podcast, I remember we got asked a question and there was a girl being like, I went through his phone, he's got prostitutes and you IT was a big story but your answer immediately I like noted IT that you were like very adamant, which of course it's like not going to look at someone s phone but you were like, I could tell there was something personal about how you were like, don't fuck and check his phone I also want to be like.

child legless ties up on a little but you don't check.

Is something personal going on. And I could tell someone had checked your shopping phone because the way that you answered, I could tell that was coming from a personal experience that is a huge violation of privacy and you work.

And i've also checked someone's phone. I've been that person when I was Younger and i've done that and that is no way to behave IT is not dignified and you're going to find whatever IT is you're looking for.

Yeah did did did you find out the person check your phone or did they .

tell you I was revealed to me .

because there is something to .

front about? Yes.

isn't that interesting? No, because that dynamic i've got IT also i've track someone something, but it's so interesting because who is in the right that because it's like, no, no, I was like, no, len boy, whatever you're bringing .

up because .

you no but also if you're .

looking, you're gonna in interpret almost everything and think, I mean, I know I did that. I had a boyfriend where I was super. He was cheating on me, by the way and I found plenty tax just to confirm IT. Like, that's my own problem, you know, I mean, I should never be in a situation where I have to look at someone's phone. My friend was joking yesterday and he said, and SHE was looked through daughter's phone and he was, I have to read her phone every night after SHE goes to bed and I go, oh my god but as a mother, I totally get IT. But as like a lover, it's really .

pathetic. You think.

are you? No, no. I was up to nothing, ever, never.

I don't have the personality to be a liar or a cheat. I don't have the end. I barely have the energy to be in one relationship.

I am very into being alone as we've discussed. So it's very hard for me to even give that out. You know what I mean, but I tried and that was a good example. I'll do IT again, you know but um I don't remember what .

I was even talking .

about yeah yeah right. That time you're doing .

great doing great with I think that's a Chris generales you don't hold me on that OK.

And by the way, those Christian, did Chris just sent you that pya, as her pajamas said, well, you need to get yourself on that. Yeah, SHE said me the sop pillow. It's like the soft .

thing I ever slip on. Okay, she's irl OK. Well, I just .

forward her video of somebody doing a percentage instagram so she's IT was a score end of .

roy's man. She's really funny.

All right. Yeah, i'll definitely match that the next time I bump into Christ genre.

What is an irrational fear you .

have that everyone hates me really? Yeah, I can get like that where I think that like like all everyone thinks i'm bad or not .

or too difficult .

or whatever, that's really very sweet of you. But you know, while everyone's listening, I want people to know that those thoughts that you have about yourself, or like they happen to all of us, and we all have moments of insecurity. No matter how confidence you may think I am listening to this or that or you are, whatever, whoever in your life you would look up to an admire know that, like, you know that we all have that voice in our head that tells us we're not as good, we're not to ita. And then the other voice is the real voice is like when you know you are valuable and that you're lovable and that you bring something to the table that nobody else brings, like, listen to that .

voice really .

is I oh really .

love in to.

Yeah, good.

This was pretty fun.

I know. So are topped that out of the two times we've hung out, this is my favorite time. Oh, three times we saw each other at the m far things.

So that's like, you know, but this is my favorite time. So we'll do this every year. I'll come every year.

yeah. H, yeah, definitely. You should be getting high all the time anyway.

What's next for .

you in the next minute?

Now you driving home in the rain.

i'm going to be going to see the daily show for a week. Yeah and I I am i'm thinking that I would am really interested in a getting back into the late night game and that is the perfect vehicle for me. And if everything goes the way that I think it's gona go, you know, that might be a more serious conversation.

I can speak for everyone. We would often look to see you on telephone.

Yeah, i'm in the mood.

Well, if she's in the fucking and mood is gonna happen. Chelsea hander, thank you somewhere to come.

Oh my god, I call .

her daddy. IT was that .

was really good.