cover of episode S4E03(下) 【101个出柜故事】出柜18年,我和母亲断亲

S4E03(下) 【101个出柜故事】出柜18年,我和母亲断亲

2024/9/27
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微光·斯坦尼

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文豪
斯坦尼
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文豪:我的出柜经历始于16岁,母亲的反应是妥协而非真正的接受。17岁到22岁,我独自生活在上海和杭州。22岁回家后,我开始了一段新的恋情,并试图与母亲分享,但母亲用‘不健康’来形容我的感情,让我非常失望。我尽力尝试过各种方法来获得母亲的理解和认可,包括带我的伴侣回家吃饭,但最终都失败了。童年时,我遭受了母亲男友的虐待,这成为我挥之不去的阴影。2023年上半年,因为母亲将我的衣服送给曾经虐待我的前男友,我无法接受,最终决定与母亲断绝关系。母亲否认了我童年遭受虐待的经历,这让我更加愤怒和崩溃。断亲后,我经历了严重的焦虑和躯体化反应,甚至出现了失眠和呼吸困难。我开始在自媒体上分享我的故事,希望能得到反馈,并从中找到自我。我意识到原生家庭的影响难以摆脱,并开始探讨原生家庭问题。在网络上分享我的故事,让我获得了很多不同的声音,这些声音帮助我更加客观地看待问题,也让我逐渐走出了内耗。我现在的感情生活很好,我的伴侣理解并支持我。我意识到所有情感关系都需要经营,包括爱情和亲子关系。我奉行‘不去担心两小时和八公里以外的事情’的原则,未来会与母亲保持一定的距离,但会尽到养老送终的义务。我希望大家都能过上自己想要的生活,不要太在意别人的眼光,爱自己没有错。 斯坦尼:我理解文豪对母亲的爱,以及他所经历的痛苦和挣扎。他的故事反映了原生家庭对个人成长和情感关系的复杂影响,也展现了自我认同和情感经营的重要性。文豪的经历提醒我们,在面对家庭问题时,要先为自己考虑,爱自己没有错。

Deep Dive

Key Insights

Why did Wenhao decide to cut ties with his mother?

Wenhao decided to cut ties with his mother due to a combination of factors, including her inability to accept his sexuality, her dismissal of his childhood trauma, and her continued emotional manipulation. The final trigger was when his mother planned to give his clothes to her ex-boyfriend, who had abused Wenhao as a child, leading to severe anxiety and emotional distress.

What was Wenhao's reaction when his mother dismissed his childhood trauma as 'imagined'?

Wenhao was deeply hurt and angry when his mother dismissed his childhood trauma as 'imagined.' He felt betrayed and invalidated, as his mother refused to acknowledge the abuse he endured from her ex-boyfriend, which included being held underwater and threatened with a knife. This dismissal further solidified his decision to cut ties.

How did Wenhao's mother react when he shared his relationship with her?

Wenhao's mother reacted with resistance and disapproval when he shared his relationship with her. She refused to listen, called his relationship 'unhealthy,' and showed no willingness to accept or understand his life choices. This rejection deeply hurt Wenhao and shattered his hopes for a supportive relationship with her.

What motivated Wenhao to start sharing his story on social media?

Wenhao started sharing his story on social media to seek feedback and validation from others. He felt isolated and needed external perspectives to help him process his experiences and emotions. By sharing his story, he aimed to connect with others who might have faced similar struggles and to encourage open discussions about difficult family dynamics.

What advice does Wenhao give to others in the LGBTQ+ community?

Wenhao advises others in the LGBTQ+ community to prioritize self-love and not feel ashamed of putting themselves first. He emphasizes that caring for oneself is not selfish and encourages people to live authentically without being overly concerned about others' judgments. He believes that life is too short to be consumed by external pressures.

How did Wenhao's relationship with his mother affect his mental health?

Wenhao's relationship with his mother severely impacted his mental health, leading to anxiety, depression, and even physical symptoms like insomnia and difficulty breathing. The constant emotional manipulation, lack of acceptance, and dismissal of his trauma created a toxic environment that left him feeling trapped and emotionally drained.

Chapters
文豪与母亲分享了新的恋情,本以为母亲会接受,没想到母亲却用"不健康"来形容,让他再次心碎。他回顾了之前的期待与憧憬,以及母亲前后矛盾的态度,表达了对母亲的包容与理解,以及内心的失望与无奈。
  • 分享新恋情遭到母亲否定
  • 母亲前后矛盾的态度
  • 内心的失望与无奈

Shownotes Transcript

上期我们邀请了自媒体博主文豪讲述他抓马的出柜故事,母亲偷看他的短信于是被迫出柜,再到18岁在男友家上演的一出惊险的浴室逃脱。文豪一直希望母亲能慢慢的去了解LGBT群体,然后接受和认同他。可是一次次的转折,让他愈发的无力。

“我记得很清楚,那天我在便利店,收到母亲的短信,她说自己终于理解了。”

“但我想只是暂时的妥协吧……”

在收到母亲理解的消息后,事情又发生了转折。

本期我们将继续上期内容,和文豪一起聊聊后续的故事,欢迎大家点赞、转发、订阅,您的支持是我们创作的动力~

节目主播 | 斯坦尼Rainbow

本期嘉宾 | 文豪

节目制作 | 冠声播客Vocal Supreme

制作人 | 樱木星

后期 | 樱木星

封面 | 樱木星

故事投稿 | [email protected])

还可以通过微博或微信公众号搜索「冠声播客Vocal Supreme」与我们联系,分享你的故事

Show notes|时间轴|

00:52 前情回顾结束,本期故事的开始~

03:23 与母亲分享自己获得认可的喜悦,她说:“我不想听你这些不健康的事”

10:17 我选择断亲,出于很多原因

13:38 袒露我的童年疤痕,她告诉我这一切都是我想象的

20:00 努力承受家庭和外界的压力,我逐渐的焦虑躯体化

23:56 我做自媒体的初衷是我需要得到反馈

27:27 我们要学会去爱自己

33:26 不去担心两小时和八公里以外的事情

你可以在各大音频平台搜索「微光斯塔尼」订阅本节目,期待你的投稿、留言、转发和赞赏,并在苹果podcast上给节目五星好评。谢谢你的支持!用分享点亮微光,让我们看见不同的彩虹人生。

期待你的投稿,你的故事~