"THE LAST FRUITCAKE" A short Christmastime Ghost Story #WeirdDarkness
04:21 Share

Lights are going up, snow is falling down, there's a feeling of goodwill around town. It could only mean one thing, McRib is here. People throwing parties, ugly sweaters everywhere. Stockings hung up by the chimney with care. It could only mean one thing, McRib is here. At participating McDonald's for a limited time.

Listen up, folks. Time could be running out to lock in a historic yield at public.com. As of September 23rd, 2024, you can lock in a 6% or higher yield with a bond account. But here's the thing. The Federal Reserve just announced a big rate cut, and the plan is for more rate cuts this year and in 2025 as well. That's good news if you're looking to buy a home, but it might not be so good for the interest you earn on your cash.

So if you want to lock in a 6% or higher yield with a diversified portfolio of high yield and investment grade bonds, you might want to act fast. The good news, it only takes a couple of minutes to sign up at public.com. And once you lock in your yield, you can earn regular interest payments even as rates decline.

Lock in a 6% or higher yield with a bond account at public.com. But hurry, your yield is not locked in until you invest. Brought to you by Public Investing, member FINRA and SIPC. Yield to worst is not guaranteed. Not an investment recommendation. All investing involves risk. Visit public.com slash disclosures for more info.

Hey Weirdos! We just got done with our Weirdo Watch Party for December 14th, 2024. We are watching Santa Claus or Santa Claus vs. the Devil. We had a lot of fun with it because we replaced all of the narration in the movie with my voice, keeping some of the ad-libs that I threw in there. And during our watch party, somebody that calls themselves Zombie Hunter wanted to know if there are any stories that involve fruitcake.

uh, scary ghost stories involving fruitcake because I think fruitcake by itself is frightening enough on its own, but apparently zombie hunter really likes fruitcake. So, um, I don't have really time to go look for something real quick, but I did ask AI to write a scary ghost story involving fruitcake. And here it is. It's called the last fruitcake.

Margaret stood in her grandmother's kitchen, staring at the ancient fruitcake that sat on the counter like a dense, dark monument to Christmas past. The candied cherries gleamed wetly in the dim light, despite the thick layer of dust on the decorative tin that had housed it for... how long now? "'It was the last one she ever made,' her mother had said, voice cracking, "'the day before she died.'"

That was 15 years ago, yet here it's that. Perfectly preserved. Nobody had the heart to throw it away. Margaret reached out to touch it, then yanked her hand back. Was it her imagination, or did the surface ripple slightly? The kitchen suddenly felt 10 degrees colder. That night, she woke to the scent of baking. Rich, spicy aromatics filled the air. Cinnamon, nutmeg, candied fruit…

For a moment, she was a child again, watching her grandmother in the kitchen. But when she opened her eyes, she saw a figure standing in the doorway. The shape was familiar. Her grandmother's stooped shoulders. Her flower-dusted apron. But the figure was wrong somehow. Too dark. Too dense. Like fruitcake gone bad.

It moved toward her bed with a shuffling gait. Margaret could smell decay beneath the spices now, a sickly sweet rot that made her gag. The figure held something in its hands, the tin.

"You need to eat it," her grandmother's voice whispered. But it wasn't her grandmother's voice at all. It was something else. Something that had been waiting in that preserved cake for fifteen years, feeding on memories and grief and love turned to rot. "I made it just for you," the tin opened with a sound like a scream.

Inside, the fruitcake writhed with dark spots that might have been candied fruit or might have been something else entirely. Something that had been growing, changing, waiting all these years. "'Eat it,' the thing that wasn't her grandmother insisted. "'It's tradition.'

Margaret ran. Behind her, she heard the wet splat of ancient fruitcake hitting the floor and something else, the sound of many small things scuttling in the dark. The next morning, the tin sat empty on the counter, perfectly clean. On its surface, spelled out in tiny candied cherries were the words, See you next Christmas. Margaret moved out that day.

She doesn't celebrate Christmas anymore, and she particularly doesn't eat fruitcake. But every year, on Christmas Eve, she catches the scent of baking in her dreams and wakes to find crumbs on her pillow. Dark, dense crumbs that smell of cinnamon and rot. Not bad for asking AI to write a quick ghost story about fruitcake, huh? Merry Christmas, everybody!

Heads up, folks. Interest rates are falling. But as of September 23rd, 2024, you can still lock in a 6% or higher yield with a bond account at public.com. That's a pretty big deal because when rates drop, so can the interest you earn on your cash. A bond account allows you to lock in a 6% or higher yield with a diversified portfolio of high-yield and investment-grade corporate bonds.

So while other people are watching their returns shrink, you can sit back with regular interest payments. But you might want to act fast because your yield is not locked in until you invest. The good news, it only takes a couple of minutes to sign up at public.com. Lock in a 6% or higher yield with a bond account only at public.com.

Brought to you by Public Investing, member FINRA and SIPC. Yield to worst is not guaranteed. Not an investment recommendation. All investing involves risk. Visit public.com slash disclosures for more info. Lights are going up. Snow is falling down. There's a feeling of goodwill around town. It could only mean one. McRib is here.

People throwing parties, ugly sweaters everywhere. Stockings hung up by the chimney with care. It could only make ribbons here. At participating McDonald's for a limited time.