#FBOYFRIENDS | Toxic exes, signs you need to leave a relationship
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What's up guys, it's Sam and Taylor. And we want you to put your shoes on, pop open that energy drink, and go. What is up ladies, we are back with another episode. Yes, happy Friday, or I always forget that you can listen to this not on a Friday. Yeah, but we should say happy Friday. I always think everyone's like listening to it on Friday. It could be like Wednesday. Or actually, yeah, you're totally right. Never mind. Yeah, but the real ones. Those of you who it's Friday morning and it's like 7am and you're listening to this, it's for you. Yeah.

Guys, we hit 15K on our podcast Instagram. Yes. That's so exciting. We were talking about today. We were like, should we do a giveaway of some sort? That's so exciting. It's just kind of crazy. It's crazy. Dang, really like 15,000 followers on there. That's a lot of people.

If 50,000 people were listening to me talk right now, I'd be really nervous. Oh, right? Imagine we're just sitting. No, okay. We're sitting on a stage in two podcast chairs and there's just 15,000 people sitting there. No. Okay, wait. No joke. I would freeze them. No, but that's what podcasters do. They go on tour. No. They go on tour. I'm going to throw up. Get our podcast page to 300K and we'll go on tour.

Imagine. Oh my God. Imagine somehow. Podcast page is 300k and we'll go on tour. That's the tea. Okay. Anyways. Um, so someone actually commented or DM me that this is their favorite part of the podcast. The catch up? Yeah. Fuck yeah. Okay. Love that. We just ramble. Anyway, so we had a fun weekend. We did have a fun weekend. Now I'm trying to think of what we did. Yeah. Oh, we did have a fun weekend. We just went out on Saturday. Guys, I'm not going to lie. Yeah.

I'll be blatant obvious right now and honest. I'm on Hinge. And I've been a good time on my weekends. Okay, not like a weird way. No, not like that. Not like that, guys. I promise. More so like... Like friends. Like finding friends. Yeah. No, that sounds really bad. No. There is not like boys coming in our apartment. Yeah, there's no boys in our apartment. Ew, boys are gross. Get them out of my apartment. Yeah.

Well, they already know that because they read the title of the episode. Yeah, that's facts. Ew, fuck boys. Anyway, so yeah. Oh, my parents are listening to this too. Sorry, mom. But anyway, yeah, so. No, your parents know. Your parents want you to get a man. Yeah, my parents. Oh my God, guys. They're probably like, yay. My parents, when I told them about the first guy, so you guys know like a few podcast episodes ago, like I had another guy that I had been going on dates with. Well, you know, he fleed from the state. He's not even in Texas anymore.

But anyway, my mom and dad were like, oh, so like, he dead ass did though. He flees from the state. He did. But anyway, um, so yeah, that's like a no go anymore. Um, but yeah, my parents are always like, so like, are you talking to anyone? Are you seeing anyone? Like, we really want you to have grandkids. I'm getting old. I'm like, mom and dad, like I'm only 23 years old. Like my parents had me at, um, like 20.

Like my age, like right now. So like picture me right now, but my parents having me. Like I'd babysit your kid. What? I'd babysit your kid. Oh God, stop it. So yeah, weekends have been fun. We went out to Buford's and I hated Taylor and our friend Nikki for making me go there. I was like, I don't want to go. I'm going to lose my phone. And if I lose my phone again, I'm going to cry. No one's phone got stolen. No one's phone got stolen because I wore a skirt.

And I think this is why I did good is because I wore a skirt and I wasn't able to put it in my back pocket. So I was holding on to it the entire time and I was super paranoid. But I got really drunk, like bad drunk. Like I came back, guys.

me and Taylor reflected the next morning we're like wait the like last 30 minutes before getting back we just don't remember I fell asleep on the ground I woke up on the ground next to my bed okay so I wake up in the morning um it's early Sam's still asleep on the counter is a food scale a banana peel and honey and please tell me this girl did not make a snack and weigh it like imagine

girl like weighing a rice cake. I don't even remember doing that. I woke up the next morning with a snack next to my bed. I didn't even eat it. It was really fun. It was a good time. Um, I'm going to touch on, I'll like get to back to this weekend in a little bit, but other than that, funny things in our apartment right now, our washer, washing machine is broken and that's been a struggle and a half and it smells so bad. It smells like, like a dead rat. It's

It's filled with water and it smells so bad. So if we, like, leave and then come back on the pod, it's because the maintenance guy came and... Yeah, we're waiting on him. I had to put a sign. We're waiting on a maintenance guy to give us our new washer. So, yeah, Sam put a sign on the door that was like, please quietly knock when you're here. Like, we're working. So if we, like, get off, that's why. But that's been...

freaking horrible to deal with not having a washing machine like don't take things for granted yeah don't you guys should see actually you guys will see because i'm vlogging today um my closet is packed to the brim in dirty clothes and i have to travel on thursday and i'm like if i don't get my laundry done before i leave i'm literally gonna be packing up dirty clothes to bring home to wash in your washer literally that's so funny okay so um

Last weekend, I guess I'll get into everything. Please. I haven't talked about this because things were still kind of up in the air and it was my personal business, but now things are way more settled, so I'll talk about it. If you guys have been following me, I get questions on the daily being like, what happened to you and your boyfriend? Did you break up? Because I was with someone for almost three years now, like two and a half.

Um, we did break up, um, a little bit after I moved, nothing bad. Like it was just like mutual, like the long distance just wasn't working. So we broke up, we were on good terms. He came to visit, um, to see me cause he's never seen my apartment and we broke up over the phone and never got to talk or see each other. So that kind of sucked. So we came to visit and we had a good time all weekend and I wasn't going to post about it. And then I accidentally did post about it on Snapchat. Um,

We woke up the next morning and I go, Taylor, you're kidding. You posted this, you're going to confuse everyone. And then I posted a little TikTok on my second page. It was just kind of funny and everyone was kind of confused. You would know it was him if you were a big follower. If you didn't care about my life that much...

You wouldn't know. You wouldn't know who it was, but, like, some of you are very into my content, and you were like, that's him. It was... It was just funny. But there's no, like, beef or, like, crazy story. He's not, like, a bad person. Like, nothing happened. It's just... Being in two different states is tough. So, we just needed some time apart. Just...

I don't know. Self break if you will. Yeah. Like, but it's fine. There's no beef. He came to visit. It was fun. Um, and I think, I think the,

The people that are so concerned and wrapped up in your relationship don't understand that it's possible to break up with someone and be on good terms. They're expecting tea. Yeah, they are expecting tea. Oh my god, what happened? On my TikTok comments, people are like, spill the tea on the pot. There's literally no tea. It's literally just like, this would be good for us right now. Like...

Like, hopefully, like, at some point, like, it, like, gets back to normal. But, like, right now, I just need a little bit of time. Like, that's literally all it is. Like, there's straight up no tea. I know it would be way more interesting if I was like, this was our fight. She did it on me. It didn't happen. And we, like, another thing, too, guys, is, like, this can apply to legit every aspect of our life. We share what we want to share. So asking for the extra details...

Yeah. Don't ask for them. Respect their privacy. And at some point, we will share it with you. Like, look, we're sitting here right now. Yeah, because I made the decision to, like, he came. Because we wanted to. Yeah. It comes to the right time. So don't ever feel, like, don't try to force us to say anything.

Like, don't ask questions. Like, I don't know how to explain it, but it's... The tea will happen. We have more tea coming your way in about a week or two that we will be sharing. Big tea. Big tea. Big tea. Well, we've been just waiting off with this tea. Yeah. That, like, that was just honestly because since things were up in the air and we hadn't seen each other in person, like, it took me a while to even tell my family. So, if you thought I was saying it on the internet. But because...

Obviously, I posted something. But other than that, I just wouldn't want you guys to even think or, like, people to make up things in his head that maybe, like, he did something to me or, like, something. I wouldn't want you guys thinking that, so...

And a lot of the times our TikToks are trends, guys. They're not real. Yes. People are like, who is this at? What is this about? Is this about him? It's literally just like an audio. I'm like, it's literally just funny. Like, I've made so many things like, oh, a guy's hot when he does this. And people are like, so does that mean that you broke up? I'm like, I could be saying that I think my boyfriend's hot when he does that. Like, there's zero correlation. Yeah, zero correlation. Like, I'm like, it's just a TikTok. Sometimes there are people. Yeah. But most of, like...

A lot of the time it's literally just relatable. Yeah. Relatable content. And I also wanted to make sure I make this clear because in this episode where we talk about some horrible people that we've dated, if I say ex-boyfriend, I'm not referring to him. Yeah. Just because that would get mad confusing if I never addressed it and then I'm talking about my ex.

A horrible ex-boyfriend, people would be like, wait. Yeah, no. Huh? No, I'm not referring to him. I'm referring to my, like, past relationship before that. That's not who I'm talking about. Making that clear. Because I would, you guys would probably, like, literally go, like, flame him on the internet for being the worst. But that's not him. Just clearing that up, yeah. That would not be good. Would never want you to think that he is this boy that I'm talking about. That'd be really bad. Yeah, that'd be bad.

I'm also not going to say, we're not saying names. Yeah, no, we won't say names. But I already know like people from my hometown listen to this and they're already going to know like that I'm talking to them. And I'm like, I swear it's not that deep. Like it's really not that deep. I'm not caught up in a relationship that happened like three years ago. Oh yeah, no, I couldn't care less. We more want to share this so you can be like, okay, sit back and reflect.

Yeah, like reflect on your relationship or know like you're just not alone slash like it's funny now to be like, wow, he was so shitty. Oh yeah, so funny. But I couldn't care less. Couldn't care less. Like I'm so... A lot of that relationship too, I mean, I know we're going to talk about this. I like forgot. I blurted out. Yeah. It was so traumatic. It's been like four years and I'm like, I don't... Yeah, right. But anyways...

That's what we're going to talk about because it's not super fitness related, but it's very like mental health related. Yeah. Mental health is physical health. Mm-hmm. That was deep. But yeah, like... I do want to talk quickly before we get into that topic though about our bulk in our mental health. Oh, yes. Because we need to do a big update on that because I feel like I had a moment with myself yesterday, literally yesterday, where I kind of had to like sit back and reflect on this whole bulking update. Yeah.

I don't even know. So last week I had, I was very, last week, yesterday, I was very depressed. I was body dysmorphia to the freaking max. My dumb ass, so you guys know my morning routine. I go down on the treadmill, I walk, I drink nearly a gallon of water while I'm walking down there because I'm just so thirsty when I wake up. My dumb ass self decided to weigh my body after my walk, after having all that water, and

And the scale had jumped way more than I was planning on it jumping. I'm with this book. I've been weighing myself every two weeks. I didn't weigh myself last week because I was on my period and I knew like the scale would have gone up like so much because I was on my period. But then yesterday I weighed myself and it went up so much and it played such a big role on my mental health yesterday. I was just in such a funk. I was like, I can't believe this, Sam. You're such an idiot. Like you increased too quickly. Like you're crazy.

I'm going to go through a dirty bulk. What are you doing? I woke up this morning and weighed myself at the correct time with nothing in my system, and the scale was where it was supposed to be. So it's just one of those things where a number on the scale can really impact you, and I don't want you guys to think that you're alone on that because there are still times where, for me personally,

It happens. It happens, but I'm not going to lie. I'm over it. It's not as deep as I thought it was, but the bulk has definitely been a little hard. Food-wise, not too bad. How has it been with you? I like it. I love it. I'm still hungry sometimes. Yeah, I've been feeling good. For me, I weighed myself starting the bulk, and I hadn't weighed myself in a long time. I'm the heaviest I've ever been, which was kind of shocking, but I haven't felt bad about how I looked, so I wasn't really like...

Because I was like, I mean, like, I don't feel like I look heavier. So, like, whatever. But that was kind of weird because I realized, okay, after this bowl, the number is going to be, like, higher than it's ever been. Which is okay. But I was like, dang. Like, I'm almost at where I thought I may have ended this bowl. Yeah. And I didn't know I weighed that much. So, that was just kind of surprising. And I'm also having kind of the opposite problem. I was just talking to Sam about this. And it's so annoying being so...

We're not always like this, by the way. It's not like we're always critiquing our bodies, like, at all. Like, we're not always, like, in this toxic, like... Oh, I'm too this. Like, we're really not. It's just sometimes you have your days. I have been feeling, like...

Too, like, skinny? Like, I feel like my butt disappeared. I take pictures sometimes, and I'm like, why? Like, I feel like my arms look small. And it's more frustrating. And I feel like that sounds so stupid, because people are going to be like, really? Like, you look too skinny? Okay, like, I bust my butt on, like, glute days. Then, like, looking in the mirror and being like, my butt disappeared. Mm-hmm.

Like, I don't feel confident in myself when I feel, like, skinny. Like, I don't feel confident in myself. And it's not like... And I know some people probably just sound stupid to be like, like, you feel small. But it's like, I'm trying to bulk. I'm trying to put on size. I'm trying to put on strength. So when you're like, it's not...

happening and I live like, like I'm trying, you're like, why isn't it working? That's like kind of annoying. Um, again, in my head, but yeah, I would say even for myself too, it's in your head too. It's literally in your head. Yeah. In your head. I do know like I am gaining weight with this is, but that's what I wanted. Like I wanted to gain weight cause I, in order to do that, that's how I'm going to gain some muscle. So I do know it's happening. Like,

It is. But at the end of the day, it's going to be so beneficial and that dumpy is going to be fucked up. Yeah, I've totally accepted gaining weight. Like, obviously, like I said, realizing the scale is going to be higher than I expected it was a little bit like, well, like, okay. Like, we're just going to have to accept that. But, I mean, I think as we get further into the bulk, the gaining weight might affect me. Yeah. Hear that noise? Yeah. There's like, is there a leaf blower outside? Yeah.

Yeah, there is a leaf blower outside. Oh my God, it's like loud. Yeah, really loud. Hopefully it stops soon. Oh my God. Yeah, that's so annoying. I've been hearing it and I thought I was going crazy. Yeah, me too. You can hear it more with the headphones on though. Yeah, it's like in the microphone. Bro. Anyway. Anyways, there's a leaf blower. Yeah, I feel like more toward like the end of the bulk when I'm like abs gone. Mm-hmm.

Back definition, gone. I'm going to get a bit uncomfortable. But because we're doing it slow, I feel like right when I get uncomfortable, it's going to be over. Do you get what I... Like, I feel like I'm going to get uncomfortable and then it's like, oh, well, now it's Christmas and now it's going to be over. You know what's also going to be hard? I don't know. You don't have the situation, but I have the situation going home. I don't have a food scale at home. So, like, when I travel home, like, this weekend, I'm not going to be able to track. I'm going to try my best. But then Thanksgiving, Christmas, like, those times when I'm home, I'm not going to be able to really track, like, hard. But, like...

I feel like... Stuff your face. Yeah, like, with the traveling aspect, like, it's definitely going to be a little bit difficult. Stuff your face. That's my... Well, also, mid-November, it's my best friend's 21st and then my 21st. So there's going to be a full week and Thanksgiving where I'm just, like, not caring about food. So I'm literally traveling to Nashville to go to my best friend's 21st. And sorry, the...

And I turn 21 a week later, so the food scale is not going to be on my mind. But that's that. That's our bulk. I'm glad you brought that up. I forgot to talk about that. We always got to talk about it. We always got to talk about it, yes. Because I think it's also like if someone's bulking too, like just knowing that like... Because they probably look to us and be like, but they're bulking so perfectly. Like... No. No, we're not. And literally both sides of the spectrum. Like you might feel like you're getting too much weight too fast or you're me and you're like literally it's not working. Yeah. Like and I'm failing. Yeah. Like and...

Either way, like, you're just not alone. We're not perfect at it. No. It's not just sunshine and rainbows. So, speaking of not sunshine and rainbows... Yeah. Let's get into the boys. Let's get into some psycho ex-boyfriends. Yeah, I'm excited for this one. Do you want to talk about yours first? Yeah, I'll dive right into my... I'm not going to go into, like, juicy details, but...

I don't even know what the juicy deals are, but, um, okay, so. Mine has some juicy deals. Yeah. Well, I mean, yeah, I do. I don't want to, like, call them out, because, like, I don't want. All right, first of all, yo, girls, don't go finding our ex-boyfriends' pages and do not go harassing them. One, because they don't deserve the clout. Two,

They don't deserve any attention. They don't deserve the fact that we even talked about them, okay? So keep this information between you and us, okay? So let's get right into it. I had two – when I was in high school and I was in college, I was a relationship gal, okay? My two relationships were two to three years back-to-back. So I was in basically a relationship for around like seven, six, seven years, and

And I was never single. I didn't know what it felt like. I didn't know what it was like to be happy on my own. I was always relying off of someone else's hap- my- someone else to feel happy or confident or whatnot. Um, but you know, one relationship really, really triggered me and that was gonna- that was my second one. Um, it was very, very hard. I don't know if it was necessarily maybe the person, his personality, the way he treated girls or whatever it is, but-

It was 2016 is when we first started dating, the summer going into college. So I was going into college just freshly starting dating this guy. He's from my hometown. He was going to, like, a military school. So I thought at the time, like, okay, he's going to a military school. He's never going to do anything. He's going to be a perfect boyfriend just sitting in his military school doing nothing all the time. So...

We were dating all the way up until I think me and him broke up my junior year. Yes. Yes. Junior year. Because I went abroad and I was single. So...

majority of the time I was dating him, I was fine the first year. Freshman year, fine. But then once it came to the second year, my sophomore year, that is when my eating disorder habits started kicking in where I just felt like I was never enough for him. I wanted to be as small as I could. I was playing feel-lucky lacrosse, and I just wanted to be small, small, small, small. Start myself, not eat, be the best I could for him. And there were these things that would pop up in our relationship where...

I was just so insecure and it never felt good enough for him where I was like comparing myself to pictures he would like of other girls on Instagram or going to the gym. Like I said, like to purposely go to the gym to shrink myself, make myself smaller for him. Cause I thought that I wasn't small enough. I wasn't the body dysmorphia was through the roof. I thought I was like,

I was weighing around, like, 100 pounds, and I thought I was, like, double that. Like, just looking in the mirror, I just didn't think I... I thought I could have gotten smaller. So, I don't really know, like, if I want to really go into, like, full detail, because, like, that's, like, too much. Whatever you want. I know. I don't really know, but, um... You know...

Looking back on the relationship, it was one of those things where I was just trying to please someone else and I was relying off of somebody else's happiness in order to be happy. When I, me and him, went through the breakup, I realized I had nobody to lean on to be happy. I couldn't even make my own, like I couldn't make myself happy. And you know what?

I'm so happy that I went through that breakup. This sounds so cheesy because it was literally like three, four years ago. But like, I am so happy that I went through that breakup because I was able through that breakup process, being alone, trying to find my own happiness, trying to figure out what I needed to do in life to just like find my own confidence that I am now the one, basically the woman I am now. But I'm kind of like losing myself right now on this, but because I'm just trying so hard not to like bring up like personal things.

But, you know, if you find yourself, you're in a relationship and you find yourself trying to shrink yourself for him. If you find yourself starving yourself for him, comparing yourself to Instagram photos that he's liked of other girls, anything like that, that relationship is extremely toxic. And I suggest you really reflecting on it and maybe trying.

Because that's really all I can say. I want Taylor to go into a little bit of details of hers, and then I feel like I can start to bounce off a little bit more. I was going to like, some of my stuff is pretty personal, but it was so long ago. I have no problem. This was all in high school. So, okay, you can jump back if you wanted to. I'll talk about it. I don't care. I feel like there's some things where it's like,

Keep that private. I don't care. This is literally... I'm talking my sophomore and junior year of high school. I quite literally don't care. And if he cares and he's hearing this, sorry. I don't care. So I dated a boy in high school...

And, oh my god, it was horrible. So not only was our relationship horrible, which I guess I'll get into, but he didn't quite get the best reputation. He was new to my school. So I kind of got hated by a lot of people and lost a lot of friends for dating him, which is red flag number one. If someone you're dating is pushing away every single friend of yours from you,

To the point that it's just you and him. And he doesn't even care to be like, hey, that's bad. Like, he's just kind of like, yeah, F them. Me and you against the world. No! No! I have no friends! Especially at that age. They hate you! Yeah, I'm like 16! But, like, they try to... He...

So manipulative. Like, no one should ever do that to you. To push yourself to the point of, like, hey, I am hated by, like, my whole dance team. I did dance in high school. Because they hate you. And I'm the idiot for being with you. And you're just like, F-em. Are you kidding me? That's so bad. So, that was horrible, but I'm an idiot. So, no, I actually hate that. And it, like, literally...

Oh, everyone called me stupid and I hated it. Cause I was like, I'm not stupid. He's stupid. Like I was manipulated and you're just not stupid if you're going through that, like they're stupid, not you. So I stayed, we dated only sophomore year for like three months. Okay. And then he cheated on me with my best friend at the time. Okay. So that sucked so bad.

That was horrible. And then we broke up for like a year. And then we got back together junior year. And everyone that hated him was actually like, he's changed. He seemed different. Like, you know, like this could be good. Like people are actually his friends. So I was like, oh, okay. Like maybe they're right. No, wrong. He was just insanely jealous. Didn't want me doing anything. Didn't want me like, yeah, like literally breathing or doing anything that wasn't like with him or like couldn't do anything.

It was so freaking toxic. During that junior year time was also when I started my very, very, very bad eating disorder tendencies and he didn't even notice. Yeah. And how are you not noticing that I'm literally terrified that I went to your house and pasta was for dinner and I have to eat it?

How are you not noticing? Like, looking back on it when we broke up, I was like... Or not when we broke up, when I got into, like, healthy eating habits, I was like, you didn't notice? Like, huh? Like, you didn't care about me, like, that much to even, like, notice that I was starving? Yeah. Like, I don't know. I just feel like that's such a red flag of, like, well, I really don't give a shit about you. Yeah. Like, how...

That just made me feel so bad because I was going through something and I needed someone to notice and push me to be better and help me. And they didn't. Because I feel like just me suffering was like, I don't know. He was the better one in the relationship. Does that make sense? It does make sense because I had similar issues with him. Why would I need to be strong and pretty and this and that?

And then he talked bad about me to people after we broke up that time and told people that I had no butt. And I'm like, yeah, well, maybe it's all starving myself when I was dating you because I was literally so... It was almost like I had nothing to distract myself. Like, it's not like I was going out with my friends and around a bunch of people. Like, it was me and him and me not eating. Mm-hmm. And that's it, which was horrible. And then he did cheat on me again. What? All over the phone. Not that that really makes it better. Like, it wasn't, like, in-person cheating. Yeah.

but I still don't give him the benefit of the doubt, but he did cheat on me. Um, and it was just like, it was kind of insane time to think like, to me, that girl that put herself through that and was such a like pushover. Like how the hell? Yeah. Like how? Cause he would be so manipulative. He'd like make me feel bad. Like he was a type to like threaten to kill himself.

Sorry, trigger warning. We broke up and this is so toxic for your mental health guys. Like this is literally like the root of probably so much of my anxiety. Like when we broke up, he like literally made a whole scene and threatened to do that. Like to the point where I wasn't at school and people at school were like trying to drive to his house because they thought that that was going to happen because he was like so manipulative.

It is toxic. So toxic. So toxic. But the thing is, like, it's so normal for people to go through things that toxic. Yeah. It's, like, normal, though. It is normal. In the moment, it's normal. And then you look back on it, and you're like, oh, fuck. Well, they make you think that they're doing all of that because they love you. Yeah. Like, it's like, oh, no, I'm only crazy and psycho about what you're doing and fight with you and all of this because I care about you. Yeah. Huh? Like, excuse me.

Yeah, that's another thing too that I should obviously touch on too is like,

What Taylor said, like, the whole, like, being with them 24-7. Like, I literally had no friends in high school because of this. Like, I felt like I needed to be with them 24-7 because if I wasn't... But this is, like, kind of the opposite of Taylor. Like, I felt like I needed to be with him 24-7 because if not, he was going to cheat on me. Like, I wasn't good enough for him, so I needed to be with him 24-7 because if I wasn't, if he went out, he was going to cheat on me. Oh, okay.

What happened? He did. That one night I wasn't with him? Yeah. So it's crazy looking back on all this and reflecting because it's like, oh, yeah, this was years ago. But just because it was years ago for us doesn't mean this shit doesn't still happen. There are girls probably listening to this right now, and they're probably stuck in an intoxicated relationship, not really knowing how to get out of it, not knowing what to do, maybe not even realizing. Maybe it's going completely over their head, like Couch Girl. Couch Girl. Couch Guy. Couch Guy. Couch Guy.

Like, something like that. I don't know. But... Poor couch guy. Poor couch guy. Because, like, maybe they're genuinely... Like, maybe there is nothing going on. Yeah. And he's getting... And their whole relationship is getting, like, claimed on TikTok. So bad. But, yeah. I think... So...

I mean, I feel like that was the majority of my relationship that was bad. It was just a very odd scenario. I felt like I needed to be someone that I wasn't to be liked by him because he came from money, to say the least. And I feel like it was kind of intimidating to me a little bit. Like, I feel like I needed to be someone that I wasn't.

I'm kind of shy and quiet. And when you're hanging around people that have money and are like big celebrities, it was weird. And I felt out of place. And then I felt like I needed to be so amazing for this boy who was literally treating me like garbage. And it was just so much pressure. So much pressure. That's another thing too. You're...

We're, like, same but different. Like, I can kind of bounce off of that and say that, like, when I was in my relationship with my boyfriend, I didn't have any friends, really. I didn't have a personality, really. I just wasn't a person. I was just fucking there. Like, I was just a static person who was just there. And now, like, obviously, probably, like, a few years later, I can finally say, like, I've found myself. I'm an independent person that can truly find happiness through relationships.

things that I do on my own. But it's like, in that moment, you just feel so, like, gazed. Like, that you're just kind of there for the person. Like, you do love them, but you don't really realize what you're putting yourself through. Yeah. And I did... The thing is, it got so bad at some points that, I mean, I knew. Like, I knew it was horrible, but my instinct was still, like, I really want to help you not be like this. Like...

Like the way we'd fight and the way that he would like yell at me. And like, I mean, he never touched me. I mean, would it have gone to that point? I guess we'll never know. But he never did that. If you're thinking that's what I'm referring to, that's not what I'm referring to. But like over crazy things. Like I remember one time it was my best friend's birthday. And she was having a bunch of people over to stay at like this beach house. A bunch of her friends, her parents too, mind you. It wasn't like a rager Project X. It was like my family is staying at this beach house. Friends are coming. There was boys staying over it.

We all had different rooms. Some of the boys had girlfriends. This is my best friend's birthday. Like my sister. He didn't want me to go because there's boys. And I was like, you think I'm going to miss, you think I'm not going to go to her birthday, her birthday, that her parents are there. They were all in separate rooms. We're like literally not even drinking. What do you think is going to go on? We got in the most raging fight over my best friend's birthday. And like for someone to hold you back from life badly.

That's nuts. That's so nuts. And I knew that that was bad, but my head was like, I want to help you be like a better person. Yeah. And it's not your, it's not your responsibility to help other people be better people. Like you're not like therapy. Yeah. You're not like a therapist for shitty boys. You're just not. Yeah.

I remember when I, like, knew, like, when I started to realize, because you do, like you said, you do start to realize, like, hey, this maybe is not the best relationship. I started to realize that when it was, like, I think my sophomore, Wednesday into Patrick's Day. March. So it was my...

Yeah, it was my sophomore year, but like the year, cause I, we broke up in junior year. So it was the beginning of that year, my sophomore year, the spring semester. And we had the St. Patrick's day parade. And I was going with my school friends to this parade. Cause I go to school in Boston and my boyfriend, boyfriend at the time, he's from Vermont. So he wasn't even supposed to be going to this parade. And I found out,

halfway through the day that he was at this parade. Same parade I'm at. We're two years into our relationship. And I had... So St. Patrick's Day, that weekend, he came home from Vermont just to be at home, like whatever, because he's in military school, so he was home. And I was out at the parade with my friends, and I'm drunk, whatever. And I come to realize that he's at the parade. And didn't even text his girlfriend of two years that he was at the parade. So...

My dumb ass. Don't know why I did it. Texted his best friend and was like, where are you guys? Like, I want to meet up with you guys. Met up with him. He wasn't even happy to see me. That's couch guy energy. Dude, I know. And I was like. That is couch guy energy. Dude, I was like, all right, this is like a big sign, like big fucking sign. And I ended up going, like I went back to school that night and I don't know where the hell he went. I can't remember. But I just like remember reflecting on him and I'm like, wow, like he's a fucking idiot.

asshole. Like my boyfriend of two years wasn't even excited or wanted to go to a St. Patrick's Day parade with me.

And like, that's like a, like in Boston, at least like, that's a very like, Oh, like you're celebrating that with like your friends, your boyfriend, like you're getting dressed up. Yeah. But even let's say he was like, you know what? You're going with your friends. I'm going with my friends. You would still know he was going. He told me it was like, we started at like 11 AM and it was like two, 3 PM. And I got a text. He's like, Oh, I'm actually going. And I'm like, what? I was like, hello. Like I was begging you to come with me and my friends. Like,

Where did this come from? Oh my god. No, that's... That is so couch guy. Yeah. And then... And then that's... Going into that summer... Going into that summer is when we were really toxic. Like, really fighting all the time. Like, whatever. And then going into the fall, that is when we broke up. So... Wow. Yeah. That's crazy. I feel like...

I don't think I've ever been in that scenario where it's like, what? Like, you didn't tell me you were, like, here right now? I feel like I have so many stories. I just can't really remember because it was such a long time ago. I feel like I went through, like, he was so attached. He'd still cheat on me. Yeah. But he was so attached that, like, that would never happen because he'd probably be terrified of me being there by myself. Yeah. Like, he probably wouldn't... I probably wouldn't have gone by myself if he would have came. Dude, on my, like, the breakup with my ex was, like, the most, like, toxic thing ever. Like...

He, I don't want to talk because I don't know how far this is going to get to him. Like, I don't know if this is going to get to him, but his body count was freaking high after we broke up. I was like, what the hell? I was like, really? Like literally getting with like my friends. Like it was just so bad. Like my hometown is so small and I was just like,

literally didn't spend a single night out at home. I went down to the Cape every single weekend to get away from like my town because it was just like the most toxic breakup I've ever gone through in my entire life, which I mean, I've only been through two breakups. So one of them is going to be toxic, but yeah. So toxic fucking boy. Yeah. My breakup, I literally that like, I think it was like the next day maybe I legitimately broke down in tears of like relief.

I felt so relieved. Like they were happy tears. Like I sat on my couch and I was like, holy crap. Like I don't have to do that anymore. And I cried happy tears because I was done with it, dude. That's nuts. I'm like looking at my photos right now, trying to get like ideas and I'm like, I'll picture of me and I'm just popping. I'm like, I could just, it's just that my relationship, like we just fought. Oh, I was going to bring up a point. Okay. I've had something in my head and I forgot about it and I just got it back.

What I was gonna say, something he did a lot that's, like, so toxic, toxic. What? Make you feel bad for not wanting to do things that, like, literally are not, like, good for you. For example, being, like, what, like, you wouldn't just, like, be late to class to, like, walk me to class. No, I don't want to be late for a class. Like...

Like, I don't want to be late. I want to, like, be there. Or, like, oh, you really, like, feeling guilty for doing things, for not wanting to give up things that are literally, like, important to your life. Like, oh, you wouldn't just, like, be a little bit late to dance practice to, like, hang out with me? Or, like, you wouldn't just, like, come out of class and get the bathroom pass to come, like, say hi to me in the hallway? No! Like, I don't want to, like, be late or, like, break the rules. And for someone making you, like, feel bad for, like...

wanting to be like, no, I'd rather not be late to class. Or I'd rather not skip class to go see you. Someone shouldn't be encouraging you to do things that are literally bad. Yeah, that is facts. And even if they were just kind of kidding, like, oh, you wouldn't want to come see me? If you said no, they can't fight with you. They can't be mad at you. That's another thing that

freaking made me so mad which i don't even know if we should be talking about this but lying about the substances you are using like i would literally ask him all the time and be like i'm like are you using this like tell me the truth like are you and your boys like using this i'm not gonna say oh my god this is kind of random where did that come from because like it's like no no like it's like doing things bad for you bad for you and i'll be like i'm just like

I don't want you doing these things. Like if, if you're going to be doing these things, at least tell me like you would never tell me. And I'm like, bro, like the honesty of like, this is not here. And I'd hear from his boys that he was like doing these things. And I'm like, all right, well I can't trust you. Like you're going to lie to me about stupid, about literal drugs. Yeah. Drugs. You're going to lie to me about drugs. How can I trust you about other things? You know what I mean? So it was just like all those small things just leading up to like a big fucking explosion. That's such a good point. If,

If they lie to you about little things all the time, you can't just be like, well, it's a little thing. No, they're lying to you. Like they are lying to you. And the worst was getting word of it through other people. Yeah. Like being like sat down, like twice, both times he cheated on me, my best friends at the time.

It was the same scenario both times of being in the car and then being like, oh, like, can you like run this errand with me? Like, I'm like, okay, we go. And then they're in the car like, I really have to tell you something like, and I don't want you to be mad at me. And I'm like, oh, here we go again. Yeah. Like, here we go again. Show me the screenshots of him cheating on me. Like literally this, like when it happened the first time I was with the friend that who she was part of it and she told me and that was nuts. Anyways. Anyways.

And then the second time it was like an un, she was not related to the cheating. She just knew about it. It wasn't really cheating because the girl didn't do anything back. It was more just like, look at these texts of him flirting with me. Like he texted another girl and was like, yeah, I think we'd look really good together. I'm sorry. That's cheating on me. So like she had the screenshots and was like, like, so like she got them around to me and I was like,

And that was just the worst hearing it from other people. Speaking of screenshots, one time I found another girl's nudes on his phone. In a phone vault or whatever the fuck they're called. Photo vaults? Yeah. Yeah. You know that's really common? Yeah. No, that's so common. Check your boyfriend's photo vault. Oh God, we're going to make every girl so paranoid right now. No, it's common, dude. Yeah. And I found out too, he was Snapchatting that girl. And I was like...

Snapchat is my... You can text whoever you want. You can have a girl. I do you.

don't be snapchatting girls both times i got cheated on was over snapchat snapchatting girls in individual conversations doesn't need to have them because it goes away it goes away it's so sketchy it's so sketchy like there are certain girls that i'm like okay whatever you can snap them oh my god like if you've literally like known them your whole life like whatever but like if there's like those random girls here and there i'm just like okay you know what though i would say there's certain girls i don't care but it did it was literally two girls that i never would have expected yeah

in years like one of them was my best friend and one of them like I would have never like yeah never would have expected so it's like I can't even say that some girls are on the table because I probably would have been like those girls are okay but no offense Taylor I'm happy you did get cheated on because he was toxic anyway oh yeah yeah so it's like at the end of the day it's like it was gonna happen anyway I just hated the like I told you shows and I'm like look I was trying to like

I thought I was a good person for giving him another chance. I thought if I didn't give him another chance, I was a bad person. And the first time we broke up, I feel like I had a lot of what-ifs. So since we dated again and it happened again, I was like, okay, there's no like, oh, what if? What if he's begging for me back? No, there's no what-ifs. You're literally blocked on everything. Never speak to me again. Done. Just the toxic.

Like, he's, like, the epitome of toxic. Like, I don't think you understand. Like, it's like a running joke with, like, my friends. That it's like, hey, he may be bad, but he's not as bad as him. My girls, if any of you out here right now listening are feeling like that, anything, just reflect after this whole conversation. It's just not worth it, especially in the years of high school and college. Especially at this age. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, like, you could be, like...

No boy should be telling you to be late to class, to hang out with them. No. Do good in your high school classes, be in clubs, and make friends. Enjoy your time being sick. And you could have a boyfriend in high school. I think having a boyfriend is cute and fun, whatever. I started dating my recent ex, David, that you guys know. We started dating in high school. It was fine. It was fun. But if you're wasting your 16, 17 years old on a boy that's toxic, you're not going to marry them. Yeah.

You're literally not going to marry them, I promise you. If it's affecting your, like, physical and mental aspect, like, you're causing yourself to be skinnier for them or something, like, along those lines, you don't want to, like, look back on that, like, of those, like, years of, like, having an eating disorder or whatever because...

I don't know where I'm going with that. No, because it all adds up. Even though I don't think in my head, did he ever tell me I need to be skinnier? Did anyone ever tell me I need to be skinnier? Did he judge how I looked? No. But because it was so... I didn't have friends. It was so stressful. It was all of that. That probably led me to being not eating. Because when we broke up, and then at the end of my senior year in high school, I had all these friends. And we were always going out, and we were always together. And we had such a fun time. And that's like, when I met David, and we're good, like...

Because we were going out on the weekends and we were doing things and all of that. And like, I couldn't be like starving myself. Like my, like someone would have known, like we were out, we were doing things. But when I was just like alone, me, my boyfriend, no friends, everyone hated me.

Like literally, I didn't realize at the time that it was a cause, but it probably was a huge cause of me doing that. That's another thing too, that we should even mention is like when you are, because you're with someone that's super toxic and you are under eating over exercising that had played such a big role on your life.

Like, personality as a person. Like, when you undereat, you're overexercising, you're starving, your, like, personality becomes spiteful. No one wants to be around you because you're miserable 24-7. You have no energy. You have random spurts of just, like, anger that will come out. Like, someone will do something very, like, nonchalant, and you just get really fucking mad about it. It's your personality, and that causes you to be more toxic, too, along with the fact that maybe the person you're with is toxic. But then you're toxic because you're just...

under eating and you're miserable 24-7 you're insecure your body's a smorgasbord like everything like you know what it is and also when you get that insecure you literally feel like if you're not with them like they're just not good enough to be like alone it's like well I have them and if I lose them like what

Like, how am I going to ever have like anyone else? Yeah. And it's like, you will, especially at this age, even, even how old we are. Cause I was obviously talking about like high school and I'm saying, if you're that age, legit, if you're like 16, 17, get just end it. I promise it'll be okay. Yes.

And you know what? If he's a changed man by 30, maybe he is. And I wish you happily ever after. But I doubt it. So someone told me actually my activities director in high school because he knew him. I was really close with my activities director because just backstory, he ran student government. I was in student government, whatever. We were really close. So we knew a lot about my life. I talked to him about everything. So he knew the kid, my really toxic ex-boyfriend. And like after all that, he just told me. He was like, look, people...

People change a little bit. They could develop new habits, but they don't really change that much. Their personality is just how they are. That's how he is as a person. That's how he's going to be the rest of his life. He's not going to change. And I was like, you're right. People just don't... You don't change your entire personality. A little bit of them can change. It's the self-growth aspect, too. Because I can definitely say...

I'm going to stick up for my ex-boyfriend a little bit right now. Your ex-boyfriend's probably better than mine. Well, I can definitely... Yes. I can definitely say that they are different now because they've had self-growth on their own. Like, that's so important. Like, you're not going to change if you're with someone. You cannot be forced to change. That person needs to do it on their own. Yeah, and I mean, I haven't talked to this kid in, I don't know, three and a half years. I really couldn't tell you. Is he different? I doubt it. He's just...

I also know, you know, when you see some people and it's like, I almost felt bad because I know the people he was surrounded with were also toxic. Yes. Because like I said, because like when, like I said, he came from people of money around people that were like, even like high profile celebrities. But, um, so that's not the most healthy mental space to be in. Like, I feel like everyone knows the backstory of like rich, famous people is normally bad. Like what goes on behind the scenes is normally not good. So part of me,

is like maybe it's gotten better and I mean I don't care anymore so in my head I'm like I mean I've been saying he's toxic but in my head I'm like hey wish you the best dude don't care like literally don't care um so yeah that's that but it was mad toxic and I'm happy I went through it because I mean it taught me a lot yeah um I'm I'm mad that some of my high school experience I had a great high school experience but I'm mad it could have been better if I didn't go through

The points of literally being hated because I was dating this boy. Another, you can definitely relate to this too, is another giant trigger is maybe also, I'm not trying to shit on people that don't go to the gym, but they don't work on themselves. Because my ex-boyfriend, I would beg him to go to the gym with me. I'd be like, come to the gym with me, come to the gym. Keep in mind, I was going to the fucking gym to do...

60 minutes on the stair stepper. So not the best form of going to the gym, but I was still getting up, having a routine for myself. If you are with someone that's just a fucking lazy sack of potatoes that doesn't want to work on themselves, hardly gets their work done in school and is just like not really working to be better. That's another reflect. Oh my God. When I was in high school,

I would do a lot of my ex-boyfriends, like, homework. Like, I'd help them do it. No, Taylor. Taylor, no. Why? Because I was... Okay, not to brag. Some people think I'm stupid because I dropped out of college. I'm pretty smart. I haven't done schoolwork in a long time, so don't hold me to it. But, like, I was, like, 4.0, 5.0 student. So I would do, like, his math homework, and it was easy. Easy. I'm talking 10th grade level geometry. Like, I'm talking find the area of a circle here, okay? Yeah.

And I'm like, look, like it's really not that hard. You just do this and it just like wouldn't click. And that were signs of me and like not to be mean, like I'm not saying this to be mean. I'm just saying like, come on, dude. Like, I'm like, you're like, you're not on top of doing your homework. We're in high school. You have one job. Do your homework. Like if, if you genuinely don't understand it, I don't know. Get it. Ask your teacher for help. I don't know what to tell you. Like,

Like, I can't just be doing your homework. That's just taking advantage of you. Yeah, literally. Like, literally, oh my God, like, I'm smart, so I'm doing your homework. Like, get out of here. No. And if it was a healthy relationship and it's just like, yeah, I'll help you do it, but just to be like, wow, dude, you're really just, like, not all there. Like, you know what? Proves why this is going the way it is, because you're really not understanding your geometry homework right now, so why would you understand how toxic this relationship is?

Yeah. But yeah, I did do that. That like makes me relate to that. My, he did do like, he had like goals for himself. It's actually funny how everything has like come full circle, which I can't really talk about.

I guess without sharing too many personal things about him, because that's not my business. But it's just funny how things come full circle. And what I do now is my job. That's just crazy. But he did have goals. So he did do stuff, but not anything that was like, wow, you're really improving yourself as a human. Yeah.

Like, nowadays, like, I guess we can, like, kind of bounce into now, like, what we look forward to. Oh, like, things that aren't toxic? Yeah, like, aren't toxic. Is there anything else that, like, was really toxic that we missed? I feel like no. We will definitely touch base more on this, too, when we do next time talk about, like, the, like, boys. Yeah, this will be, like, a repeated topic because everyone loves, like, boy talk. I mean, we've also had toxic scenarios of people who we weren't even...

maybe dating, but just like, you know, you talk to boys, like whatever that was toxic, but those are just less severe. Yeah. But like,

Hey, we just went through that. Yeah, we literally did. So, we can now move our way into things that we should look for. Yay! Okay? Yay! Okay, Taylor, super random, but the first one I want to say is because Taylor brought this up, and I realized one of our, like, really good guy friends here does it all the time. Okay. You know what I'm talking about? I don't know. Walking on the side of the road...

And he's on the street road. Oh, no. Like, on the side of the street road. Okay, can I, like, give David, like, can I give David a shout out? Yeah. Okay, because yesterday we were all out and we were scootering. And, like, my friend literally said something. My friend Nikki. She's here. Whatever. My friend. Like, we were scootering and, like, we were in the traffic, like, in the lanes. And he was like, come on this side of me. Like, come, like, to this side, closer to the sidewalk. And then he stayed out and my friend was behind me so she could come under him, too. And was, like, making sure she, you were in front.

Yeah. She was like, making sure she also went on that side of him. And I was like, that was nice. I'm looking out for my friend. Like common gestures like that from a guy. A guy should be a gentleman, bro. Like, like I know we talk about fucking opening the door. Like that's so cheesy. That happens all the time. But like something like, like anything, like a common gesture. Like I've never had experienced that with my ex-boyfriend. I never, anything like that. Never. No, I'm going to, I'm almost going to like backtrack into the toxic things. Yeah.

My ex-boyfriend would do so many of those things. So many above and beyond join me kind gestures. But here's the thing. Are they doing them because they care for you? Or are they doing them because they want you to be like, thank you so much. I love you. I'm going to do this back to you. Yeah. Like, are they doing it for the reaction of out of you? And so when you're in a fight, he could be like, what about all the nice things I do? Yeah. Or is he doing it? Like he was doing it for like leverage. Yeah. To be like,

How are you going to be mad at me and tell me I'm a terrible boyfriend if I literally, like, bought you that bracelet? Yeah. And, like, held the door open for you. Oh, my God. Speaking of bracelets. So, just beware. Yeah. Because my ex-boyfriend did all the things, dude. Flowers all the time. Gifts. Door open. Just gentlemen. But it was. My fucking ex-boyfriend was the opposite of yours. No, but it was lever. Like, it was used against me. You should. This is what should happen. This is what I learned when I got in, like, my second relationship.

when something was done for me and also like oh thank you and he was like why don't say thank you like he was like stop saying that like he was like I don't do it for you to say thank you and I was like I was like like we would get in fights because I didn't like say thank you enough like in my other I was like wait is that how it's supposed to be you're just doing this because you like me and not to like use it against me as if there's like a

Point system on the wall. Being like nice things you did for me. One. And being like but what about all these nice things I do for you. And you don't do any. I don't know. They need to not have bad intentions. Because that was a huge manipulative factor in my relationship. And you just reminded me. It was so manipulative. But they have to be doing it for. When they're doing it for the right reasons. They should be doing that stuff for you. Another thing too is what I'm going to say. Make sure that they are not. Relationship.

dependent. Is that the right word I'm looking for? Yeah. Like codependent. Yeah. Like make sure that they like know how to freaking like do things, be successful on their own because you don't want it to be one of those relationships where then they are relying off of you. You're relying off of them. You only become happy when you're with them. Like you need to also like have like that independence in the relationship. Yeah. Um, if you guys listen to like Gretchen Garrity on her podcast, she said like, um,

I just shout out because I didn't make this up. And I don't know if she says it. Like, you shouldn't be 50-50 and then make 100. You should be 100 and 100 and together be 200. Yeah. Like, you know when people are like, you make me complete or like you're my other half? No. Like, you are complete. You're a whole human.

They're also... Now you're just figuring... They don't make you complete. Yeah, no. You are complete. That is facts. That sounds toxic. I mean, obviously, you might just say that lightheartedly. Yeah, I know. But as a whole, it's like, no, but you shouldn't see that. It's like, oh my God, how loving. My life is literal trash without you. Yeah. And like...

Now it's good. Like, I don't know. Yeah. Like, you should be two whole people. Yeah, exactly. Which also goes, they should push you to do things that are good for you and something you're doing on your own. Yeah. Like, if you want to go to the gym, like, and you go to the gym and that's, like, a non-negotiable for you. I actually got a DM about that. They're like, how do you balance...

Like, having a boyfriend in school, like, and, like, being fit and, like, making enough time for everything. I'm like, okay, well, you should have your time to go to the gym. Yeah, you need your own time for you. Like, you're telling me you can't go to the gym because you have a boyfriend? You can sacrifice an hour. Yeah. They should come with you. They should be making you go. Like, no boyfriend should be like, oh, yay, you skipped the gym for me. Oh, yeah, that happened quite a bit with me. No, like, if your significant other has, like, the gym, sports practice, schoolwork, like, you should never be, like...

oh, yay, like, you skipped your extra practice to, like, come hang out with me. No, they should be like, no, stay. Like, get your things done. Oh, my God, that's so toxic. So you need someone that's going to be supportive of you doing things on your own. Yeah. And, like, putting the time into it and taking time out of being with them to do things on your own. Agreed. Because that's so important. Yeah, I definitely agree. I feel like there are so many factors that we could go into, but, like, specifically...

For, like, myself, I do need a man that goes to the gym. If he doesn't go to the gym, if he doesn't do any of that, I don't see myself working out with them. I realize physical activity. In my – with my ex-boyfriend, it was before I went to the gym, so I wasn't – it wasn't that big of me – a big deal to me then because I didn't go to the gym yet. But now looking at it, I'm like, oh, no. I'm like –

You need to be able to come. Oh, and you need to like, not be like, Oh, like 8am so early. Like we're leaving to the gym at eight 30. Like, Oh no, get up. Like we're out the door. And like, and I obviously like people are like, but I'm a night workout person. I don't care. Like you just like eight 30am is not early. It's not early. That's such a ick. Big ick.

But, yeah, it wasn't that important for me for someone to go to the gym back then. I did dance, though, so I did physical activity. And part of me was, like, kind of wish you had, like, sports practice. Yeah. Because, like, I have sports practice. And, like, the people you spend your... Like, if you're spending, like...

so much time with this person. I feel like, like, lifestyle in terms of, like, eating healthy, too, and just, like, going to, like... Like, if I was surrounding myself around someone that was constantly just, like, eating, like, shit, I don't think I, like, would enjoy being around that. Oh, you just brought up such a good topic for me. Yeah, what is that? I cannot deal with...

Like my ex-boyfriend would make like stupid comments about the fact, at the time I was just a vegetarian. I wasn't vegan yet. Like about me being vegetarian and like still just like, oh, you don't eat meat. Like, oh, and like letting other people do like, shut up. Like I can't deal with ignorant comments being like,

stuff about the way i eat yeah like are you are you that like can we can we grow up like yeah i'm vegetarian like did why why is it like funny like why is it like oh what do you eat like get out of here like that's so like why can't you just be supportive of my lifestyle exactly

That is very important. Like, that's something I feel, like, ethically, environmentally, like, I feel is right and I feel very strongly about it and you're just going to sit here and kind of, like, mock me. That can even be applied with, like, the whole, like, tracking of macros and, like, bulking and stuff. No, but, like, anything. If you find something very, very important to you, and it might be different, but it's extremely important to you and you're getting, like,

Like, I don't know. Like, just kind of, like, mocked for it. Like, on the daily, like, every time you make a meal, it's like, come on, dude. Yeah. Like, get over it. Like, the guy that I was just talking to a month ago, remember when he said I shouldn't be bulking? And I was like, excuse me, what? I shouldn't be bulking? Like, I don't want to have to explain to someone, like, the whole process of, like, bulking and cutting and why I'm doing it. Like, I don't need a man telling me I shouldn't be.

God forbid if I was very deep, say it was my ex-boyfriend that said this to me, I'd be like, what do you mean I shouldn't book? I shouldn't put on? It would be running through my head. Why shouldn't I be doing this? Is he going to hate me if I do it? Is he not going to love me anymore? That type of stuff. Luckily, you're stable in your mental health and your body image. Thank God. Because I would probably cry if I wasn't. And someone was like,

like no you shouldn't do that like because i'd take that as like am i getting am i fat yeah like i'd be like i'm obese overweight i should not be doing that like i'd literally freak out if some boy like it was in like a bed with some boy they were like no fat boys but i i'm trying to think if there's like anything else

There's definitely so much that we did not say and we're going to look back. No, there's so much, but the thing is I blank out on what we've already said. But I'm excited for like not, maybe next episode, but maybe the one after where we can finally start to talk about it. Bro, guys. They're probably like, why? What do you mean? We're not telling you jack shit, okay? We'll tell you when we can. Next week, wait, is it? It's literally Friday.

Oh, it's going to be a good Friday. It's going to be a good Friday. It's going to be a good Friday. But we don't know because we have to film before that Friday. Oh, but it'll be a good Friday for them. Yeah. Terrible Friday for us, actually. It's a bad Friday.

Terrible. Terrible. God damn. Guys, you guys are literally probably sitting on the edge of your seat right now. Like, what the hell are these girls talking about? People still... Dude, you guys are going to be amazed by what we have to tell you. You know what's so funny? In the TikTok I posted, that was David that, like, I just kind of showed his shirt. Someone was like, gym boy. I was like, no. No. I was like, you're not getting it. Guys, I just want you all to be aware my gym boy is legitimately not in Texas. Do you know what's funny too? Like, he's not here. We meet people at the gym. Yeah. And they're like... Yeah, they'll be at the gym. We're like...

you might see the boys. And they're like, no effing way. Like, I had a client, guys, shout out to Maddie if she's listening, if she's listening, I know for sure she's listening, but I explained the entire story to her about this gym guy because she was like, I was too scared to ask you. And I'm like, girl, I'll just tell you. So like mid-workout, I'm telling her this entire story about this guy. Yeah, because we're like, beware, you might see them. Yeah.

But then I told her, I was like, nah, he's gone. He's out of the state now. Yeah. But... He flew away. Her reaction is exactly how I know everyone's reaction is going to be. Well, anyone I've told in real life is like jaw on the floor. Yeah. So, it's going to be exciting. Watch. No, don't give any hints. What are you saying? No, I wasn't going to say watch. I was going to say a scenario, but...

Now I can't even say the scenario. Never mind. Don't worry, guys. It's going to be a lot of fun. I'm so excited. Okay, we got to go because now I'm going to keep talking about it and I'm going to give too much information away. But the moral of the story, don't be off your grind or not caring about yourself for no freaking boy. Mental health and physical health is the most important thing. So grow on your own and then finally.

I hope that wasn't too just like rambly. Yeah. No, but they like it though. They like when we ramble. Yeah, I'll tell myself that. I think that was fun. That was some like, I don't want to say deep parts of my life, but like I guess. I didn't really get into too much detail because I'm literally going home this week and I don't want this podcast to come out and me be home and never be like, we listened to the podcast. No, I'm never going to see this boy ever again. He's blocked on literally everything, so I couldn't care less. He's literally in my friend group at home.

I guess he could listen to this podcast. You can't really block people from podcasts. Like, my friends from home listen to this, and he could get back to him. Yeah, no, this would not get back to him, I don't think. There are some people that follow me that, like, know him. Another one of his ex-girlfriends follows me. Maybe she's listening. Hey, girl, if it's you, I feel for you. But if, like, I don't think it would get back. This airs when I'm home, so. Have fun with that. All right, besties. All right, guys. See you guys next week for the tea of all time. Yes, we love y'all. Bye.

See you on Friday.