cover of episode CM 280: Michael Gervais on Overcoming Our Biggest Fear – Rebroadcast

CM 280: Michael Gervais on Overcoming Our Biggest Fear – Rebroadcast

2024/12/1
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Curious Minds at Work
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Gayle Allen
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Michael Gervais
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Michael Gervais: 本书的核心论点是，对他人意见的恐惧是阻碍人类潜能发挥的最大障碍之一。这种恐惧源于大脑中古老的生存机制，即渴望归属感和避免被群体排斥。在现代社会，这种恐惧仍然存在，并表现为各种自我设限的行为，例如在会议上不敢发言、假装忙碌、附和他人意见等。克服这种恐惧的关键在于了解自我，明确人生目标和价值观，建立稳定积极的自我认知。只有这样，才能减少对他人评价的依赖，不被他人意见左右，从而获得自由和掌控感。 Gervais 认为，自我价值感通常与他人对我们的看法有关。当我们缺乏清晰、稳定和积极的自我认知时，我们往往会依赖外部评价来确定自我价值，这使得我们容易受到他人意见的影响。因此，他强调要进行内省，从内而外地了解自己，建立清晰、稳定和积极的自我认知，明确自身价值和人生目标。只有这样，才能减少对他人意见的依赖，不被他人评价所左右。 Gervais 还指出，高水平运动员能够更好地管理压力，因为他们不会将身份与表现混为一谈。他们能够将两者分离，在高压环境下保持专注和稳定。他们擅长拥抱不适感，并乐于寻求新的挑战，这使得他们能够不断进步。 Gervais 认为，要从以表现为基础的身份认同转变为以目标为基础的身份认同。只有这样，才能摆脱对他人评价的依赖，获得自由和掌控感。他建议人们通过练习，逐步明确人生目标，并将其作为行动的指南。 Gayle Allen: Allen 在访谈中引导 Gervais 阐述了对他人意见的恐惧对人们的影响，并探讨了克服这种恐惧的策略。她与 Gervais 共同探讨了自我价值、身份认同、压力管理等方面的问题，并通过具体的例子和实验结果来佐证 Gervais 的观点。Allen 也表达了她对 Gervais 观点的认同，并强调了内省和自我了解的重要性。

Deep Dive

Shownotes Transcript

There are many good reasons to look to others. For example, you might need expert advice or feedback to improve your performance. But there’s one reason not to, and, that is, to determine your self-worth.

When you look to someone else to define you or tell you how to live your life, you lose a lot. And if you find it hard to believe you’d ever let someone else influence you in those ways, you’d be surprised.

Michael Gervais is a high-performance psychologist who’s worked with elite athletes, artists, and leaders. Through his work, he’s learned that one of the biggest obstacles standing in their way is fear of other people’s opinions. And he’s seen just how crippling those fears can be. That’s why he’s written the book, The First Rule of Mastery: Stop Worrying about What People Think of You.

In talking to Michael, I learned how our biology sets us up to place a lot of weight on other people’s opinions. I also learned how social media is designed to reinforce that fear. Fortunately, Michael shared insights on what to do. I walked away feeling empowered.

Episode Links

Stop Basing Your Self-Worth on Other People’s Opinions

Free Your People from the Need for Social Approval

Build a Great Team on a Relationship-Based Culture, Not the Myth of Family

Interview with Jonathan Rhodes on Getting the Life You Want

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Learn more about host, Gayle Allen, and producer, Rob Mancabelli, here.

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