cover of episode CM 179: Marissa King On Feeling Good About Networking

CM 179: Marissa King On Feeling Good About Networking

2021/1/18
logo of podcast Curious Minds at Work

Curious Minds at Work

People
G
Gayle Allen
M
Marissa King
Topics
Marissa King: 本书研究社交网络而非Networking,旨在通过理解社交网络模式、结构和运作方式,帮助人们做出更好的选择,从而改善生活、工作、健康和幸福感。研究发现,人们对Networking的抵触情绪源于将珍贵的个人关系商品化,这在道德上令人不安。此外,人们对Networking的抵触还源于缺乏方法和技能,以及认为Networking是天赋而非技能。实际上,社交互动是可以学习的,可以通过分解步骤,例如选择合适的社交群体,来降低焦虑感。 Marissa King还介绍了三种社交网络模式:扩张型网络(拥有庞大网络)、经纪型网络(连接不同群体)、召集型网络(关系紧密,信任度高)。这三种模式并非相互排斥,人们通常以其中一种模式为主。扩张型网络者善于社交、乐于助人;经纪型网络者善于察言观色、适应性强;召集型网络者重视信任和深度关系。 在职业生涯中,不同阶段最有效的网络模式不同:早期扩张型,中期经纪型,后期召集型。扩张型网络在职业早期尤其重要,因为它能帮助人们接触到更多信息和资源。中期经纪型网络则有利于创新和创造力。后期召集型网络则能提供信任和支持,帮助人们应对高层管理中的孤独感。 Marissa King还强调了积极倾听的重要性,以及如何利用现有网络来改善社会问题,例如孤独、心理健康和成瘾问题。她认为,充分利用现有的人脉关系,比一味寻求新的联系更有效。 Gayle Allen: 本期节目讨论了社交网络,许多人对“Networking”抱有负面情绪,感到焦虑和内疚。Marissa King教授的研究强调人际关系在Networking中的重要性,并提供评估Networking方式的工具。她的研究帮助人们消除对Networking的负面感受,并鼓励人们像对待个人关系一样重视职业人脉。节目中,Gayle Allen与Marissa King讨论了社交网络的模式、如何判断自己的网络模式、不同网络模式的优缺点、以及在团队组建和远程办公环境中如何运用这些知识。

Deep Dive

Key Insights

Why do many people feel uncomfortable or resistant to networking?

Networking often evokes moral discomfort because it involves commodifying relationships, which many people consider precious. Research shows that instrumental professional relationships, like those at networking events, can make people feel 'dirty,' leading to a desire to cleanse themselves. Additionally, many feel they lack the skills or 'playbook' for effective networking, which creates anxiety.

What are the three main social network patterns identified by Marissa King?

The three main social network patterns are expansionists, brokers, and conveners. Expansionists have large networks and are often seen as quintessential networkers. Brokers connect different social worlds, fostering innovation and creativity. Conveners have dense, trust-based networks where friends are interconnected, providing strong reputational benefits.

How did Vernon Jordan Jr. build his influential network despite starting in an unlikely job?

Vernon Jordan Jr. began his career as a chauffeur for the mayor of Atlanta, an unlikely job for a college graduate. This role allowed him to establish connections that propelled his career, eventually bridging Wall Street and politics. His understanding of social structures and ability to connect disparate groups led to his success as a civil rights leader and presidential advisor.

What is the significance of brokers in social networks?

Brokers connect groups that normally wouldn’t interact, fostering innovation and creativity through recombination. They fill 'structural holes' between social worlds, enabling the exchange of ideas and resources. Brokers often have high self-monitoring skills, allowing them to adapt to different social contexts and read rooms effectively.

How does the concept of homophily affect social networks?

Homophily is the tendency for people to associate with others who are similar to themselves, which is a defining trait of most social networks. This can limit diversity and innovation. Brokers counteract homophily by connecting disparate groups, enabling the exchange of new ideas and perspectives.

Why are conveners' networks characterized by trust and reciprocity?

Conveners' networks are dense, with friends often interconnected, creating a strong sense of trust and reciprocity. This structure allows for deep relationships and reputational benefits. Conveners tend to self-disclose more, which strengthens bonds and fosters mutual support within their networks.

How does career stage influence the type of network that is most effective?

Early in a career, an expansionist network is beneficial for meeting diverse people who can provide information and support. Mid-career, a broker network fosters innovation and creativity. In executive roles, a convener network is advantageous for leadership and managing complex social structures, while also addressing chronic loneliness at the top.

What role does listening play in strengthening professional networks?

Listening is crucial for building strong relationships. It allows individuals to feel heard and valued, fostering trust and deeper connections. Effective listening involves giving space to others without interrupting or jumping in with personal stories, which can enhance the quality of interactions and strengthen networks.

How has remote work impacted different network patterns?

Remote work has increased feelings of loneliness, particularly for conveners, who thrive on dense, interconnected networks. Brokers, who are used to bridging gaps between groups, may adapt better. Expansionists, with their large networks, may also fare well, but the lack of in-person interaction challenges the trust and reciprocity that conveners rely on.

What is the significance of the 'six degrees of separation' concept in social networks?

The 'six degrees of separation' concept highlights the interconnectedness of social networks, showing that most people are connected through a small number of intermediaries. This remains true despite technological advancements, as network properties like conveners, brokers, and expansionists continue to bridge social circles.

Chapters
Many people view networking with negativity, associating it with feelings of dirtiness and moral compromise. This stems from the intentional commodification of relationships, turning something precious into a transactional tool. Research shows this feeling is widespread, even among professionals whose job involves networking.
  • Networking is often viewed negatively due to the commodification of relationships.
  • Research shows people associate networking with feelings of dirtiness.
  • Many professionals feel ambivalent or resistant to networking.

Shownotes Transcript

For most of us, networking is a topic that brings up a lot of strong feelings. And most of those feelings aren't all that positive.

Ultimately, we know we should network. But just thinking about it can make us uncomfortable. In fact, research shows that many of us associate networking with something dirty. On top of that, we feel guilty for not devoting more time to it.

That's why I wanted to interview Marissa King. Author of the book, Social Chemistry: Decoding the Elements of Human Connection, Marissa is Professor of Organizational Behavior at Yale School of Management and an expert on social networks.

Marissa's take on networking is refreshing because she emphasizes the relational aspect. She also provides tools for gauging how we network, so that we can easily see how well our approach is working.

Her discussion of networking and her strategies for how to reframe it more positively help us to walk away without feeling icky. At the same time, her tips inspire us to tend to our professional network the way we would our personal one.

If you're looking for a fresh take on networking, I think you'll enjoy hearing what Marissa has to say. 

Episode Links

Shout-out to Heather Cox Richardson for her Letters from an American

Professional Networking Makes People Feel Dirty by Carmen Nobel

Do People Mix at Mixers? by Paul Ingram and Michael W. Morris

Marissa King's site for assessing your networking approach as convener, broker, or expansionist

Self-monitoring

How to Build a Better Social Network and the work of Ronald Burt

Why Do People Gossip? by Sophia Gottfried and the work of Robin Dunbar

Yo-Yo Ma and Silkroad

Homophily

Heidi Roizen

Curious Minds at Work Team

You can learn more about creator and host, Gayle Allen, and producer and editor, Rob Mancabelli, here.

Support Curious Minds at Work

If you're a fan of the show, there are three simple things you can do to show your support:

	Rate and review on iTunes or wherever you subscribe.
	Tell a friend, colleague, or family member about the show.
	Subscribe so you never miss an episode.

Where to Find Curious Minds at Work

Spotify

iTunes

Tunein

Stitcher

Google podcasts

Overcast