cover of episode The Puzzle of Archibald the Great

The Puzzle of Archibald the Great

2023/8/4
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A geek, a nerd and two tough-as-nails ranch women fight rubber rustlers during WWII – when rubber was worth big money!

A masterpiece of screwball romcom from Clarence Budington Kelland, the man who invented the genre, set against the background of the Homefront during the Second World War. The Puzzle of Archibald the Great is filled with his trademark delirious, pixilated battle-of-the-sexes dialogue. Archibald Cloyd was an ubergeek and as pedantic as it is possible to be. He looked like Napoleon, he strutted like Napoleon, so naturally, he made himself the world's greatest expert on the Little Corsican. Naturally, Hollywood hired him at thousands of dollars a week as the technical director on a movie about Napoleon.

Wilson Page, Cloyd's secretary, was a nerd. He didn’t fit in anywhere, and when the Air Force turned him down due to a childhood heart problem, Wilson gave up on life. He figured he didn't deserve anything better than being nursemaid to a strutting egomaniac like Archibald Cloyd. He looked down on himself and Cloyd in equal measure.

But when Archibald fell for a gangster’s moll, the gangster took exception to the relationship, and the pompous little geek proved too stuck-up to back down even when faced with torture. Wilson Page discovered he had developed affection for the pigmy popinjay and swore to extract Cloyd from the situation.

Then the movie company moved to Arizona to shoot desert scenes about Napoleon's Egyptian venture, and with Archibald now thousands of miles away from the hot-tempered gangster, Wilson Page breathed a sigh of relief.

But his relief didn't last long. In the desert, Page discovered a complication he had never dreamed of, when they encountered the Widow Hammer, an outsized woman with an outsized voice that could call the cattle home from a range beyond the mountains in a different state, who took a shine to Archibald because, as she said, "He talks beautiful. He don't always make sense a body can understand, but the sound of it is lovely."

And matters became even more complicated for Wilson Page when he fell for the irritating Miss Jemima Ward, a young woman who was used to running her own ranch, which she had inherited from her father, and looked down on soft men who earned their keep at soft jobs sitting in chairs, like secretaries to academic pedants, and looked down even further on young men who were not enlisted and off fighting in defense of their country against the fascist regimes of Italy and Germany.

Just when it looked like things couldn't get more complicated, Page and Jemma discovered an old abandoned mine filled with a fortune in stolen rubber tires, one of the homefront's least obtainable and most valuable commodities. And who did it belong to? The same hot-tempered gangster who had sworn to do the dirty to Archibald the first chance he got.