cover of episode Roll Out The Problems.

Roll Out The Problems.

2024/6/26
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A Cup Of English

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"My soul has been tested today," is a saying that a friend of mine uses on a regular basis. Sometimes, when problems pile up, it feels that way, doesn't it? Of course, some are more serious than others; we know that. Some, however, are just downright bothersome, annoying, frustrating. I could go on. So, I am nearing the end of the renovation of my condominium. I still have a lot to do in the garage in order to transform it into something wonderful and useable. The last few steps needed inside my living area are to carpet the stairs, and to put the shower in my bathroom. For a year I have been working with a nationally known home improvement company for all of my renovation needs, and more recently carpetting has been the order of the day. I went through the normal steps of bringing samples of carpet home, choosing the one I preferred, ordering it, and having the stairs measured. The day came for the installation. I had to go to work, but my mother was at home and would deal with the workmen coming in and out. I imagined coming home to a lovely new carpet, and that thought made me happy, happier than I had been at the first attempt. I need to explain a short back story.  Two months previously, after having jumped through the necessary hoops to get my stairs carpetted, I found myself counting down the hours until the install. With a carpet finally on the stairs, that part of the house, at least, would feel complete, look clean and organized, and have that comfortable feel that only soft material gives. I was in and out for work, but was planning on driving home directly to see the finished product as soon as I could. As I waited in the spine clinic to see my next patient, the phone rang: "Miss Casswell? This is Juan, the installer. I'm so sorry, but I don't know what happened. I was ready to install your carpet, but when I went to pick it up, uh......,it wasn't there." "I'm sorry Juan, I don't understand. What do you mean "It wasn't there"?" "Well, the warehouse told me that it had arrived, but no one could find it. We looked for two hours...I don't know what happened. I guess you'll have to reorder. I'm so sorry." I was disappointed, but also curious and perturbed about how a whole roll of carpet could go missing. Had it been stolen? Had it been installed in someone else's house without them realizing it was the wrong one? Had the carpet-stealing-elves been busy? Or more likely, had the carpet not been ordered? Later that evening, as I sat in the carpet department of Lowes, I was told that nobody knew what had happened. I had paid for the carpet, and waited a month for its arrival, but a mystery had taken place within the home improvement store, as they do every now and again. "Weird, huh?" chuckled the employee, raising his shoulders, his eyes dilated. Suspicious body language, I thought. So I reordered the same carpet, knowing that it would take at least a month to arrive. The day came, finally, for the baby's arrival, at least that is what it had come to feel like. Juan the installer was back and busy stapling in the pad that goes underneath the carpet. I didn't have to work until later, so I hung out with my mum downstairs until his noisy work had finished. "Miss Anna," said Juan walking towards me. "Just to double check that this is the correct carpet, here is a sample." I looked down at the small, triangular piece of carpet he was offering me. No. No. "Oh great," I said to myself. "I'm sorry Juan, that is not my carpet. I would have never have ordered blue /grey." "Are you sure, Miss Anna?" Juan said weakly, realizing that he probably shouldn't have bothered asking me that question.  "It's completely the wrong color Juan. I'm sorry your time was wasted." So, you're probably wondering if I have my flipping carpet yet or not. Well, I don't. I became very comfortable walking on the plastic foam pad. However, after two months of doing that I realized that I needed to launch myself a third time into the mysterious, risky world of carpet installation. "A third time lucky," we English people say in many contexts, meaning that you must keep trying. So, the third order has been given. Maybe the process this time will produce an actual carpet on the stairs. Maybe it won't. If I ever get a carpet, I think I will curl up on it half way up the stairs, like a cat, and take a happy nap. But, shhhhh, we should keep it quiet; we don't want the carpet elves to find out.