Feeling offended, and expressing outrage, is now all the rage affecting every aspect of our lives. And short fuses and limited tolerance have their place, of course, when an offense is serious and damaging. But in my inner elegance coaching practice, there’s an increasing hyper-sensitivity to perceived, and real slights that’s become the issue dominating relationships and it’s causing unnecessary pain and confusion.
The emotional tripwires created by this heightened sensitivity are becoming increasingly hard to navigate. The last thing most of us want is to cause offense (particularly with loved ones) and this ironically plays right into the hands of those who understand the power of being deliberately offensive for their own ends. The offense can only be caused when we are quick to take offense. Politicians, for example, understand this only too well. The sting is instant and it’s a cheap way to make a splash or feel superior, without having to make any effort.
So, why are we so easy to offend? Rudeness, blame, bullying, condescension, discrimination, and shaming, trigger numerous negative feelings, from outrage and resentment to hurt and humiliation. Feeling unjustly treated or judged in this way kicks in our primitive survival impulse, “how dare they?”
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