We are constantly taking actions in our lives, doing things every single moment of every day. Sometimes these actions are selfless and for others and sometimes they are for ourselves. What happens when some actions are for others and for ourselves? Maybe you bring a bottle of wine over to a housewarming party to show you care, what if you send a late email to surprise your boss that you’re working extra late to get a new promotion? Some actions are never just as they seem, some can have ulterior motives.
Ulterior motives are extrinsic or alternative reasons for doing something, especially when concealed or differing from the stated reason. They can come up as feelings inside, maybe I want someone to like me, maybe I secretly want something from someone like a raise. There is a fine line that we walk with ulterior motives, the internal battle with ourselves and then the line externally that can stretch as far as manipulation of others. Ulterior Motives are usually concealed and come from the idea that others may not accept an agenda of our own.
Rather than concealing our true feelings and motives, there is an innate freedom that comes with being honest about them. Tell your boss you want the promotion and ask how to get it, ask genuinely of others that you want to make a good impression. Is there anything I should bring? This honesty with others can be freeing and relieving for others but most often relieving for ourselves. When we share our goals and motives with the world, often times the world rewards us, by answering us with honesty in return.