You’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t. Shame can feel like one of those inevitables in life that happens to everyone. It seems kind of odd though when it rears its ugly head. We had been experiencing shame that was built up in our own heads, a figment of how we thought our friends and family might react to certain goals that we were working on pursuing. Massive changes were on the horizon, and we were worried that could leave us alienated and feeling ashamed of the decisions that we had made in following a dream.
The other side of the coin came from how we had been feeling internally. Feeling ashamed at the way we acted or felt, or that we should be further along than we currently were. Sometimes it feels like there’s no middle ground with shame. You’re either internally frustrated with yourself or you’re scared that others are going to be frustrated with you. What we learned about both of these versions of shame, is that they are treatable and ownable.
Whether you are frustrated internally or worried that others might feel differently towards you when delving into a new pursuit, it’s important to take ownership of that feeling and not give shame an opportunity to creep in. Most of the time we are building up expectations in our heads, the minute that we open up and own our journey wherever we are at others will most likely begin to rally around you and support you. It can be hard to pursue things without expectations of how yourself or others will react, but I guess if you never try you’ll never know. The same goes for others around you…if you don’t give them a chance to be supportive and caring there’s no way they can be.