It’s the end of the year and whether it is our yearly review with our bosses or Santa who is checking to see if we were naughty or nice it seems like we are always receiving feedback. Feedback in both of these cases is often given without our request and has some consequences associated with it. We have an emotional response built up around feedback cycles, maybe its a pat on the back that leads to a raise or maybe it’s the fear that we have done something wrong, and a weakness in our skillset will be brought to life. Regardless what the feedback is there is a high stakes connotation that surrounds feedback and the faults that we perceive within ourselves.
Exposing weaknesses and bringing them into the light feels like one of the most vulnerable things that we can do. Allowing others to judge our performance from superiors to peers to people that rely on us is terrifying…or is it? When we receive feedback infrequently we put undue pressure on ourselves because it feels like the stakes are higher than they are. If we only do promotions once a year then you’re damn right your yearly review is going to be an important one. On the other hand if we constantly ask for feedback we begin to flex that muscle, and become immune to some of the fear of vulnerability. By asking for feedback consistently we aren’t hiding behind things we already know rather we are putting it out there in the light and asking for help. When we ask for help we not only improve our own performance but we improve the lives of others around us. That means our relationships and lives of our coworkers, customers, family and friends. By hiding behind our vulnerabilities we not only hurt ourselves but we create a less than great version of ourselves for those around us as well. During this year’s feedback session, think about ways that you can work on asking more frequently for feedback throughout the year in order to implement change all year long rather than a nail biting end of the year meeting!