AEE 2315: Who Asked You? Rude Phrases to Avoid in English
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This is an All Ears English podcast, episode 2315. Who asked you? Root phrases to avoid in English.

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Do you ever worry that you're saying something rude to someone in English? Today, get three blatantly rude phrases that you should avoid at all costs in English. Are you in charge of hiring at your company? When you're hiring, it feels amazing to finally close out a job search. But what if you could get rid of the search and just match? You can with Indeed.

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Hey there, Aubrey. How are you today? I'm great. How are you, Lindsay? Really good. Feeling good today. Sun is shining. What are we talking about on the podcast? I have a question to start us out here. Lindsay, what is the most polite culture that you've ever visited?

Well, a lot of that is in the eye of the beholder just because certain polite things could be happening, but I may not have been aware of them. Right? So it's a complex question. But I would say when I lived in Japan, I was just really, really surprised by the level of politeness, of formality. The service was unbelievable to the point where when I came back after a year and a half in Japan, I realized

got a flight, an American Airlines flight back from, I think, Vietnam because I'd gone to Vietnam. And I could not believe how rude the stewardesses were on the flight. And they were just normal. But they were so, to me, my mind had been switched. My frames and my expectations, they were flat out rude.

That's really interesting to think about, right? Like this is actually what I used to be accustomed to and now it seems so impolite because of what I'm now used to. Oh, that's really interesting. Interesting. Yeah. So this is the topic we're getting into, which Aubrey, I think is so important at the business level, at the connection level, travel, it's everywhere. Politeness, being rude. It's so true. Yeah. And especially to think about how different this is.

across different cultures, right? This may be very different where you live or where you've immigrated to compared to the U.S., but there are certain phrases in English that are very rude or especially can be rude depending on the intonation, but sometimes they're just rude all

all the time. And we recently got a question. Baruz wrote in asking about the phrase, who asked you? And part one of answering his question was Saturday, pack your English with idioms. So we answered part of his question and we promised to follow up. And that is today.

Ooh, I am excited. So today our listeners are going to get how many rude phrases to avoid? Four? Three? Three of them? Let's see. Yes. It's like three. Three rude phrases in English that you might hear you definitely want to avoid so that you don't give offense. Oh.

This is going to be a must-get episode for our listeners, right? We really, and we're going to tell you exactly what the connotation, why you want to avoid it, and this is an important one today. So. Yes, absolutely. Shall we start with the first one? Well, first, we want to remind our listeners, Aubrey, to hit the follow button. Because if you like this kind of topic, then we are for you. We focus on connection, not perfection, guys. So hit the follow button.

Yes, absolutely. If you missed this part one that we're talking about, you might be missing a lot of episodes. So be sure to hit follow so they drop right into your queue. All right. Number one, Aubrey, what is it? Yeah. Number one is this question Baruz asked about, who asked you? This is implying that someone gave an unwanted opinion or should not have spoken.

And it's very rude. Like there is no way that you could say this. I tried to think about and I was Googling like, is there any way you could say this sarcastically and it would still be fun? Really? No, it's always rude. Yeah, I can't think of any. I can't think. I mean, yeah, generally just steer clear, stay away from it. For example, you might hear you might hear someone saying it right now.

For example, I think you should break up with that guy. Yeah, and then they would respond, who asked you? Who asked you? Right? Or this soup needs more salt. And the chef gets offended. Well, who asked you? Who asked you? Yeah. Right. Anytime someone could say this, there are so many better options, first of all. It's just very rude. It really is sending the message of like, I don't care about your opinion. I don't want your opinion. And nobody...

And there's just nothing polite about those phrases. Like anytime you would want to give someone that message, it's rude.

Yeah, just back away, back away. Back away, just don't say anything. Or there are definitely more polite ways to say this, right? So you might hear this, you might hear it on TV, but recognize that it is always going to be taken in by the person that it's said to as mean, as impolite, as offensive.

Yes. Do we want to do this role play, Aubrey, just so our listeners can recognize it when they hear it? We have just a very mini role play here where we'll hear what this might sound like. Yeah. I don't think you should take that job. Well, who asked you? Yeah. It's just blatantly rude, right? And the intonation, it wouldn't really make sense without that rude intonation because that's what you're saying, right? If you say, who asked you? Then it's kind of like, are you literally asking me who asked me? I guess nobody, but it's just strange. Yeah.

Just stay away from it. So write that down as the... And cross it out. Write it down, guys, and cross it out because you're not going to use it. Don't use it. We do not recommend this phrase. All right. Good. All right. Second one we don't recommend is mind your business. Or really, I say mind your own business. I hear both. I think I also say mind your own business more. Yeah. Sometimes I think people will...

Because you will hear these sometimes when people are trying to be funny or sarcastic. And so they'll say it more playfully. They'll say like, mind your business and drop the phone, right? You might hear that. But again, even if someone's trying to be playful and sarcastic, it's still going to come across as pretty rude. Right. So someone might say, are you sure you should take that job? And you might say, mind your own business. Yeah.

Yeah. You're telling someone not to pry. You're telling them like, this is not your business. You should not be asking. You should not be involved. These are such like the typical ways to break a connection, right? When you're telling someone, I don't want your opinion. I don't care what you think. Yeah. Honestly, these days, I feel like our listeners are more likely to hear these on TV shows, you know, like a Seinfeld or something.

Yeah, maybe you're a reality show. Like if someone's really angry and they don't care anymore about being polite and they're fine with being rude. And there's also a certain level of immaturity sometimes. If someone is saying something like this, they just don't have the maturity level to realize how rudely they sound. Yeah. Aubrey, we might have to do a follow-up episode to give alternatives to these. You know, what do we say instead?

right yeah right yeah follow for the follow-up we'll share what can you say instead if you if you don't want someone to pry or you don't want someone's opinion but you want to say that politely yes there's there are solutions guys so we'll come back to this topic in another episode uh quick role play yes so a little mini role play you start us out all right you really shouldn't text and drive you know mind your own business

would be weird i can't even imagine it's just so rude oh i'm excited go ahead no go ahead it's rude it's rude it's very short uh it's unrealistic you just there's no way to make it polite right exactly that's the thing right and so many phrases were like oh yeah if you change your intonation if you're trying to be sarcastic it's okay these phrases that's not the case it's just always impolite

100%. I'm excited for this next one because this is a little more nuanced. And I think the first two, maybe our listeners maybe have heard that these are kind of maybe heard them on TV being barked at someone. But this next one, there's another level of nuance. Exactly. And this next one is one of those that could be more polite. You could say it depending on the context. So it's figure it out. And this is said to tell someone to do something on their own without asking for help. But they're

There is sort of another meaning that we use, which is just more like if I say, oh, I need to figure this out. I need to figure it out. There's no rudeness there. It's just like I need to discover how to do something. But when you say it to someone to end a conversation, then it can be very rude. Well, this is making me question because I just said this yesterday in an email, not to our team, but to a partner we work with.

Now I'm thinking, oh no, but not blatantly. I didn't say you need to figure it out, but I couched it in other words, right? But that was the point that I was trying to say, we've done our job. There's nothing else we can do here. I think we need to do a case study and you need to bring that email online.

on to the podcast and let's like, was, you know, because sometimes you do need to get that message across. Like you need a vendor, a client, someone does have to put in the work to figure something out on their own. How do we say that politely? Because sometimes that's the message that needs to be conveyed.

Interesting. Okay, I can't wait for the follow up episode. This is great. All right. So the time when it's rude is when like if someone is saying they don't know what to do, and the response you give is like, well, you need to figure it out. Yeah, with zero empathy was zero trying to like, let's figure this out together, or giving any kind of grace. That's what's rude. So let's do a mini role play here. Right? Okay.

These instructions just don't make any sense. I don't know. Figure it out. Okay. Yeah. So, so I think the important point here is what do you put around it? What did you say in the email before? Right. So it's all about the context here. You can convey the point, but you need to put a lot of empathy in the email or what you're, or as you're visually here, you just said,

Oh, figure it out. Yeah, figure it out. Right. There's no understanding of, you know, I could say like, those do look really complicated. When I have some time, I'll help. There's so many things you could say to show empathy, to show understanding. And if all you say is figure it out and you leave, like that's how you end the conversation. Yeah, it's extremely rude. Yeah.

Okay, good. This is very interesting. I'm glad we got to that one because it's a little less common. Maybe our listeners wouldn't know it, but here we go. Let's take a quick break, Aubrey, and we'll come right back. Awesome.

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Okay. What do we need to know about sarcasm when it comes to these phrases? Yeah. So often when people say this, they're trying to be sarcastic. Maybe they're trying to be playful. They do maybe want to get the message across that they don't want someone's opinion, for example. But

They can. Sarcasm often still can be interpreted as rude. And so that's, you know, we kind of mentioned this, but this is why we don't recommend these phrases is even if you're trying to be sarcastic or use sarcastic intonation, these phrases will still be interpreted as rude.

Okay, perfect. Well, let's show our listeners how this all comes together in a what not to do example, right? So what not to do role play. Okay. Do not have this conversation. And you and I are making coffee in this role play. Aubrey, are you a dark roast coffee drinker? Are you an espresso drinker? What kind of coffee do you like, by the way? I switch it up. We have an espresso. So sometimes I drink espresso, but I

I like like a latte, I guess, cafe au lait. A lot of milk and sugar in my coffee. All right, got it. So we're getting the full context here. I'm drinking my coffee black. This might be pretty accurate, this role play, because you're a black coffee drinker. Yeah, I drink my coffee black pretty much. All right, here we go. Let's get into it. So did you just put in three sugar packets? Okay, mind your business. Well, sugar is just so bad for you. Who?

Who asked you? I like my sugar with coffee and cream. Thank you very much. I mean, every now and then is okay, but every day, you got to figure it out. Oh, wow. And this could be a conversation you might hear among friends, right? Yeah. You would definitely, this is a conversation you might have if you know someone really well. Never with like a coworker you don't know, that'd be so rude. But like close friends will sometimes criticize or pass judgment.

Oh, yeah. Or with your partner or something. If a friend said this to me, I would be pushing back like, okay. Yeah, it's judgy, right? Yeah, for sure. And this might be where I still wouldn't use these phrases because I'm still responding in a pretty rude way. But this is where you might hear them on TV or something because someone feels like they're being criticized or judged. And so maybe they would say that. Who asked you? Mind your business. Yeah. Mind your own business. I think you pulled

back and this is quite subtle, but our listeners are ready for it. I think you pulled back on the full rudeness because you said, okay, mind your business. Like you kind of lighten things a bit. It's true. It's amazing how having like, there are some simple words you could put before one of these that make it so much more playful. Okay. Intonation. Harsh. Right. Mind your business. Yes. It's not just the word you chose, it's the way you said it. It's the delivery, the intonation too. Right. And I think I could add a

I could add before when I said, who asked you? If I said something like, dude, who asked you? Right. Something that is adding more informality and making it even more playful. Aubrey, that's another episode idea. Oh, my gosh. We could add that to our next month's episodes. Who knows? Right. How to what else you can put here to. Yeah. Maybe you do want to use something that could be interpreted as rude and

But you have a good relationship and you're going to say something out of word that will lessen the rudeness. Yeah, for sure. You follow guys. You never know. You never know what. Those both sound like amazing episodes. We go into very specific things here on All Ears English. And then at the end, I said, I mean, every now and then is okay. But every day, you got to figure it out. Yeah.

Yeah, it's interesting. Like it is still rude, but you could maybe see a friend saying this, like you see them having so much sugar and be like, okay, you got to figure it out. This is unhealthy. Yeah, for sure. It's like you're on your own. You got to solve that problem, right? You have a problem to solve is what we're saying. Yeah. But like you said, we do need to do a follow up because this whole role play, I can think of so many things that would be less rude. That would be a more kind, like if you really do feel like I'm eating too much sugar, there are kind ways you could say that.

Yep. That'll be in a follow-up. Aubrey, what's our takeaway for today? Yeah. So guys, some phrases in English are quite rude and you should avoid them, right? Today's phrases, we just recommend you avoid them entirely so that you don't accidentally come across more rude than you mean to.

All right. Great topic today. Super important. Hopefully our listeners, you'll learn something new about this topic of politeness and rudeness. It is incredibly important in business and life, right? And travel. When we travel, we want to make sure we're acting in a polite way, respectful way. Yeah. So true. Awesome. Thanks, Lindsay. Okay. Good stuff. Take care, Aubrey. Talk to you soon. All right. See you next time. Bye. Bye.

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