你失去过你爱的人么?思念一个人到极致是什么感觉?
电影《爱在午夜降临前》里面有这样一段,一桌子的人,有作家、艺术家、摄影师,年龄各异,大家东一句西一句的聊着天南海北的话题,两对中年夫妇不时揶揄现在所拥有的生活和爱情。一位老妇一直笑而不语,最后她开口,谈及亡夫,淡淡的说道:
Well, when I think of Corpileas, what I missed most about him is, the way he used to lie down next to me at night.
我想到Corpileas的时候,我最想念的,是他每晚躺在我身边的样子。Sometimes his arms would stretch along my chest and I could’t move, I even held my breath.
有时候他的手臂会伸到我胸前,我动都动不了,甚至要憋着呼吸。But I felt safe, complete.
可是我却感到安全无比,觉得完整。And I miss the way he was whistling walking down the street.
我也很想念他走路时吹口哨的样子。And every time I do something I think of what he would say: well it’s cold today, wear a scarf.
每次我做了什么事情的时候,我会想起他跟我说:今天很冷,戴上围巾哦。But lately, I’ve been forgetting little things, it’s sort of fading... And... I’m starting to forget him. And it’s like...like losing him again.
但是最近,我总是忘记很多小事,很多记忆开始慢慢的消失。而我也觉得我开始忘记他了,这感觉是,像又失去了他一次。So sometimes I made myself remember him every detail of his face, the exact color of his eyes, his lips, his teeth; the texture of his skin, his hair. But it was all gone by the time he went.
所以有时候我会强迫自己记住他脸上的每一个细节,他眼睛的准确颜色、他的嘴唇、他的牙齿、他皮肤的质感、他的头发。但是这些在他走了之后都不存在了。And sometimes...not always but sometimes, I can actually see him.
但是有时候,不是很经常,我会真的看到他。It’s as if a cloud moves away and there he is, I could almost touch him. But then, Doria, well, rushes in and he vanishes again.
好像是云走来了之后他就在那里,我感觉我可以摸到他。但是又消失不见。Well I did this every morning, when the sun was not too bright outside. The sun, somehow makes him vanish.
我试过在每个早晨看到他,当太阳还不是很强烈的时候,因为太阳光一强,他就消失了。Yes he appears, he disappears, like...sunrise, or sunset, or anything so ephemeral.
是的,他出现,消失,就像日出日落,或者任何转瞬即逝的东西。Just like our life, hmm? We appear, and we disappear, and we are so important to some, but we are just... passing through.
也许就像我们的生命?我们出现,我们消失,我们对一些人如此重要,可我们最终,
这是一段我听过一次就无法忘记的台词,哪怕复述一遍,眼角都会闪现泪光。那些逝去的永藏心底的挚爱,是我和韩夏一直想做的题目,不过,这好像是《喷嚏》开播以来第一次谈论沉重的话题。你们放心,即使是谈论这种话题,我俩还是能撩出一些笑点,相不相信,你们听了就知道了。
节目里,我再次提到《海边的卡夫卡》,如果你现在正在经历失去的伤痛,也许这本书可以帮你疗伤。
如果这期的话题稍过沉重,剩下的这十五分钟我跟韩夏试图让气氛变的更加轻松。
这期“你的秘密”,我们阅读了一封关于“同辈压力(peer pressure)”的来信。信里的女孩说自己被同龄人之间的竞争和比较压的喘不过来气,无端陷入很多莫名的竞争中。
在这期的“这挺好用的”里面,韩夏居然推荐了一个叫做FOCUS T25的健身操。